burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

A few weeks ago, Touch Performance Art did a workshop production of "Sexyback: or what you will" at Club Oberon.

The website said 8pm. Doors didn't even open until 8:07, and the show didn't start until ~8:35 (because not only do you have to wait for everyone to get in, but you want everyone to buy drinks). Le sigh -- I forget what Club Oberon shows are like. I saw Sarah V. from feminist sci-fi bookclub in line, and we hung out once we were inside, which was nice (the killing time part is more enjoyable with friends). I was hoping people would be actually dancing during the pre-show, but people were just standing about, alas.

It does with "Twelfth Night" what "The Donkey Show" does with "Midsummer" -- bare bones of narrative with lots of song+performance. Which actually basically worked. ( spoilers )

FWIW: After the show, they said their plan is to do 3 more workshop shows in July and then 10 full shows in the fall.

Kathy M's memorial service was today. Because of who Kathy was, there was a lot more music than is standard (there were 3 choir anthems and 3 hymns the congregation sang).

The opening anthem was "The Deer's Cry" by Shaun Davey (based on St. Patrick's Breastplate -- the song which opens, "I arise today..."). I think I was crying by the end of that, and I definitely cried a lot during Molly's homily.

Crying, for me at least, feels like an emptying out, and I was thinking, early in the service, experiencing that feeling of being emptied, that it would be good to have Communion at the end of the service.

In part, I'm sure, because I'd seen this on Tumblr this morning:

awkwardbutaccurate: “foretaste of the feast to come” sounds really familiar, almost like it’s in the Eucharistic prayer. Anyone know?

[...]

galesofnovember: Google tells me it’s in the Lutheran Eucharistic liturgy. I think it’s in one of the rites in the BCP too, because I swear I’ve heard that phrase.

[My immediate response to "foretaste of the feast to come" was, "OF COURSE it's in the Eucharistic liturgy!" so when I saw gales' response I thought, "Oh, apparently I have absorbed my best friend's liturgy." I mean, I know it's not in the Communion liturgies my churches use, but...]

I would want it to be a real actual feast. Fine, it's a symbol, but a bite of bread dipped in juice (or wine) doesn't feel like a powerful symbol to me. I don't experience Communion as powerful magic, and that's in part just because of who I am, but also because I feel like there's "no there there" -- that if it's supposed to demonstrate Jesus' radical hospitality, and Jesus' enduring presence with us, and to model the Realm of God, then it should really be a feast.

Lord, what shall I do that I
can't quiet myself?
Here is the bread, and
here is the cup,
I can't quiet myself.
To enter the language of transformation!

-from Mary Oliver's "Coming to God: First Days"

The readings were:
"Sleeping in the Forest" - Mary Oliver
"Coming to God: First Days" - Mary Oliver
1 Corinthians 13:4-12

I knew Kathy was only 64 when she died, but I was still surprised, when I saw her daughters go up to the chancel to do the readings, how young they looked. They could be my age. Which, my parents are 53 and 61, so I suppose they probably are.

The closing hymn was "I'll Fly Away," which I have an active dislike for, but because I have heard so much about the grace with which Kathy approached death, I could tell myself that it meant something different in this context (even though while I was actually looking at the words I was aware I was stretching).

[Edit: During the Prayer time, Jeff M. acknowledged and opened up space for: the other griefs this brings to the surface (not limited to people who have died), the fact that Kathy could be difficult and inviting us to extend forgiveness to her, and if there was anything we felt like we wanted/needed forgiveness for (e.g., things we had done, things we hadn't done, ...) to allow ourselves to feel forgiveness from Kathy just like we had just extended forgiveness to her. This is the first funeral I've been to at FCS, so I don't know if this is standard here, but I really liked it.]

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At the reception, I told Harold (who was wearing a suit) that I felt very undressed looking at him (I was wearing my black shirt with the glitter Phoenix on it, blue jeans, and my lace-up flats with stars on them). He did say he liked my shirt :)

During the reception, there was an open mic for anyone who wanted to share.

Her ex-husband spoke, and he said in keeping with the theme of the grace with which she dealt with her illness(es), she had reached out to him and told him she harbored no ill feelings about their breakup and that she was glad he was the father of her children. I cried.

I got up to get some juice and a guy got up and introduced himself as "Ron" and his voice sounded familiar before I saw his face and I realized it was ron_newman. He talked about having worked with Kathy on various Somerville things and I think I had already started crying, but where I clutched my heart was when he said he hadn't know that she was sick until he heard of her death last week, and so he wanted to come here to be able to say goodbye to Kathy because he hadn't been able to say goodbye to her before she died. While I know that people I know from church have lives outside of church, it hadn't really hit me that there would be people who would grieve her death but who wouldn't have been a part of her circles such that they would have found out about her illness before her death.

Jenny U got up and I started crying basically immediately because Jenny was her neighbor and was the connection that brought Kathy to FCS and I knew Jenny must be so sad -- and indeed Jenny was crying throughout her talking, and so I was doing the "crying because the other person is crying" thing the whole time.

A friend of Kathy's asked if anyone knew "Ezekiel Saw the Wheel" (which, sidebar, blessing of the bicycles!) and led a sing-along of that.

Betsy M (I think) led an impromptu "If I Had a Hammer," which song I don't really know but which I loved at the end.

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

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Friday

At South Station, on the phone with Ari while waiting for my train, I gave money to a woman claiming to need bus fare up to Laconia.  I walk by people begging for change all over Harvard Square all the time and don't engage them AT ALL except for like a nod of the head or a "Sorry," even though I know I SHOULD, but sometimes I'll get approached by someone with some story I don't believe (though I believe the person is IN NEED -- because you don't go up to random people on the street and tell them some pathetic story unless there is something Not Okay in your life) and practice an act of radical generosity.

    When I got off the train at Norwood, I was still on the phone (duh) and my mom hugged me and (taking a wild guess) said, "Hi, Ari."
    My dad met us at the train station so he could take my mom's stuff home.  She had to pee, so she asked my dad to drive us to the coffeehouse so we'd get there sooner.  I was still on the phone when we got there (attempting to wrap up conversation while at the same time keeping an ear out in case I was supposed to be engaged with my parents' conversation).  When we got out, my dad said, "Bye, Ari."
    My mom said: "We all love Ari, even though we haven't actually met her."  ♥

The last time I saw Carrie Cheron perform, she recognized me from our conversations when she was busking in Davis Square and said that she's bad with names but remembers faces.  Before this concert I was sitting and talking with my mom over dinner, and during the intermission we were talking with the mother of one of my brother's classmates (I also got a slice of white&chocolate cake -- thumbs up).  So I wasn't ENTIRELY surprised when, when we were leaving after the concert, she said hi to me and said she'd seen me earlier.  I said I hadn't seen her in like two years.  Checking my tag, it's actually more like 3 years (almost exactly -- Nov. 13, 2006 to Nov. 20, 2009).  We talked about how I haven't seen her 'cause she doesn't so many of her shows are private shows or out in Western Mass. or something and how I didn't know a lot of the songs she played because I only know the stuff on her album.

During the show, someone in the audience asked at one point where her CD release party back in 2006 was (The Burren).  Someone (same person?) asked when she was releasing her next CD.
Carrie: "When I get some grant money."
audience member: "I know a guy named Grant."

While we were chatting, I told her that I had grown up in this town and blah blah blah.

me: "This is my mom."
CC: "Hi, mom."
me: "Sorry -- Barbara."
CC: "Hi, Barbara, I'm Carrie."

We chatted a bunch, and she hugged me goodbye.  Yes, ladyvivien, I know you're jealous :)

Edit: I forgot to mention that she played a cover at one point and from the very beginning I knew I knew it, though it took me until about the time the title was sung to remember the title -- "Angel from Montgomery" (John Prine).  Wow that brought me back to college (and made me think of anniesj, though I don't know if she's actually the person I got the mp3 from). /edit

Saturday

Scott and I had brunch at Toscanini's.  We both got the fried egg sandwich :)

He kept seeing people he knew or thought he knew from MIT, and I commented that I sometimes I feel like I expect to see people I know and then I remember that I don't know that many people in Boston and anyway in this area (off Mass. Ave. between Central and MIT) I wasn't likely to see anyone I knew.
And then jadasc and eisa walked in.  They sat with us for a bit until Scott had to leave to prep for SPLASH.
I went with him, met his brother, and then made my way back to Central Square T.  Where I saw them AGAIN.  And M-E and Nathan.

I was home for a few hours and then spent ~6hrs with Allie!

I had seen a flyer at Mr. Crepe for Hedwig and the Angry Inch @ the Arsenal and thought of Allie, so we made plans to go see it.

We had dinner at Porcini's.  Which was probably the fanciest restaurant in the area.  It wasn't bad, but I wasn't particularly blown away.
I've seen the Hedwig movie once (and wasn't in love with it) and had never seen the (a?) stage version.  I forget sometimes what a dark dark story it is.
After the show we got hot chocolate at Algiers in Harvard Square.  (I got hot orange mint chocolate, with whipped cream, because I could.)

Sunday

I got up an hour early to finish my sermon.  \o/  (Okay, I went to bed a little before 1am and got up a little before 6:30am, so I was totally not prayerful during prayertime at morning church and slept through the sermon, but...)

My mom's half-sister dragged her onto being on facebook, so she friended me and so I accepted and friended my dad (and my aunt Marian).  I've been somewhat resistant to being facebook friend with family, but given the way I use facebook these days, it really isn't a problem for me to be facebook friends with family.

On my dad's profile:

RECENT ACTIVITY
[my dad] and [my mom] are now friends.
[my mom] I thought we were more than friends ;)

Also, earlier this month my brother commented on my dad's Wall:

just curious, why doesn't your relationship status say "married"?

[my dad]: Originally, it was going to say, "In a Relationship with Golden Lion Tamarin" cause it worked with the silverback gorilla picture, but after I'd put in "In a Relationship," I found I could only end with someone already on facebook. So I just left it.

Today is the last Sunday of Year B.  Happy New Year's Eve, Church.

I haven't posted church writeups since the beginning of September.  /o\  I private-posted the backlog to to be finished in some mythical "later."  I'm not really optimistic about being any more on top of writeups in Year C, but I feel better starting with a clean slate.

SCBC

    Ross opened prayer group by reading James 5:13-16, which of course I found problematic, but I didn't say anything 'cause it didn't seem the appropriate moment.
    We just lifted up the personal prayer concerns that were particularly on our heart.
I felt somewhat weird because I was purposely limiting myself to concerns which were strongly on my heart, but it was mostly okay.
    I still feel like whenever Ross prays for my best friend's depression and anxiety that he doesn't really *get* mental illness, but I don't know how to make that better.
    Hearing my prayer concerns voiced by other people was actually really uplifting.
I had lifted up (in an appropriately vague manner) CWM and our supply pastor and the challenges of that, and Ross prayed that I may speak with grace and truth and for the supply pastor prayed for "the ministry You have entrusted to him."

***

CWM: 6th Sunday of Pentecost

(Can I just say how excited I was to see the specific Sunday listed?  I know we're using a summer bulletin template, which I totally understand and endorse, but I've gotten so used to knowing where we are in the liturgical year based on CWM's bulletin.)

Some time after I'd gotten home, my housemate asked me, "Did church get it right tonight?"  She was at Local 50 that afternoon and had been talking to Cate about it.  I said I was amused that non-church folk were discussing this.  She said, "It's rare that a devout person says the church got church wrong; it's pretty intriguing conceptually."  Possibly I am just a natural born critic, but it doesn't seem strange to me at all.  I mean, obviously if something's really not working for you you should quit, but it's not like there aren't frustrations that crop up along the way...

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Job 16:1-6
Romans 1:8-12

He talked about a music class he took and how the instructor said the 1st rule is: show up.
hot, dry, dusty speeches
words of encouragement/comfort -- have to come from another
Paul: mutual strength and encouragement

[Edit: He's posted his sermon to the blog.]

He almost never said "he," instead saying "Job" and "Paul" umpteen times, and mentioning raising his kids he said, "my partner" rather than "my wife."  It doesn't feel entirely natural to me, but if he is doing it just to accomodate CWM language I am mostly okay with that.

During Prayers of the People, all of the prayers I lifted up came complete with stories (which meant I didn't actually end up listing all of the, but that's okay).

We had a lot of visitors, and during the Passing of the Peace one woman said to me, "I'm sure I've seen you before."  I said that was entirely possible (though she didn't look at all familiar to me) and as I was mentally running through other churches, Smith College, etc. to try to place her, she said, "Did you go to MJ?"  Indeed :)  She found CWM by doing a websearch for gay churches; Marla was glad to hear that CWM came up :)

[Sidebar: What is up?  I really do not feel like I look particularly memorable, and yet, at Coolidge Corner on Friday, "Alona" said hi to me on the sidewalk -- we went to the same high school together, but it took until Sunday for my brain to process the name and the face such that I actually recalled that yes I had known her.  FCS-Ben said hi to me on the T a couple weeks back, but that is less weird because we have interacted more than once in the past year.  Then Tuesday morning when I was waiting for a funeral procession to cross at Powder House, a guy said hi to me and I admitted I didn't know where I knew him from and he said CWM and I realized oh yeah I did know who he was.]

At SCBC Adult Ed this morning, the pastor was talking about how he doesn't take the Bible literally and all this stuff, and I kept thinking, "Everyone's so negative on how conservative this church is, and yet..."

As we drew to a close, Owen asked me if I would be comfortable leading the closing prayer.  I was totally thrown and unprepared, but I did it.  I always want to use female-gendered language for God because so many folks in this group say "Father God" all the time, but I don't use gendered language in talking about/to God, so it wouldn't have been authentic, and if I'm gonna really discomfit people during prayer time, I had better be doing it out of authentic prayer language.  I am so all about intentionality in language, but I totally cribbed from familiar prayer language even though it wasn't necessarily the exact words I was looking to invoke -- "Great and gracious Creator God ... grace, mercy, and peace ..."

[Edit] At CHPC this morning, I felt like the number of people I didn't recognize was almost greater than the number of congregants I recognized.  Apparently the four women whom I totally read as queer were visitors from a Waltham congregation.  I felt bad that I didn't do more introductory conversational greeting, but I tend to want to do that during Coffee Hour rather than in the sanctuary, and by that time other folks were chatting them up (at least one of the congregants clearly already knew at least one of them), so I hung around while LizL. chatted with one of the couples.  I've taken to wearing my "Ask. Tell." dogtag recently (I'm not entirely sure why), and one of the women complimented me on it :) [/edit]

In CHPC Adult Ed we talked about metaphors for sin and salvation (using a handout from an HDS class Kelsey is taking this semester) and what does it mean that sin is such a central component to our faith.  I kept having responses to things people said, but I didn't actually get a chance to jump in, and none of it was anything that felt important enough for me to really be obvious that I had something to say.  Near the end, though, LizL. asked me what my thoughts were -- as the "resident orthodox theologian" :)

I went almost forty-eight hours with no update on [redacted v. Holy Saturday].

Reconciling Saint Celebration at CWM tonight.  I walked into the sanctuary and felt like there really should have been more people (since it's this big even that we put on) and felt bad that I hadn't invited anyone, but I always feel weird inviting people to stuff like this for their first visit to CWM because it's so different from how our Sunday worship usually is.

I sat next to Marion because it was convenient, and she asked how things had been, and I talked in very broad terms (mostly just because I was tired and because I'm rarely good at exciting synopses of my life) and I mentioned that the semester had been plugging along and not as crazy as I'd initially thought it would be, and she asked me to remind her where I work, and I told her.  A guy sitting in the pew in front of us turned and said, "Did you say you worked for...?"  He works there, too, and asked me where at the school I work.  I named my department and the faculty I support.  He named where he works and I nodded and named a couple people I know who work there and he told me his first name and I was like, "Oh!  I know you."  It's a fairly uncommon first name, and he works with junior faculty development or whatever, so I'm familiar with the idea of him from various conversations.  He said they go to Union United Methodist (I said, "Oh, that's the church that hosted the Boston Pride Interfaith Service a couple years ago, right?") and Martin McLee (our invited preacher for the event) used to be the pastor there, so...  He also named someone who organizes GLBT lunches where we work, though apparently there hasn't been one in a while, and I am totally going to follow up on that, even though queer folk do not automatically feel like "my tribe" and so I actually have very little expectation of making new friends from that endeavor -- but I feel like I should totally try.  [I am totally stalking now, and I am disproportionately gleeful that someone did a case study on GLSTN.]

Early in the sermon, I wished I had invited SCBC folk -- "I know that one or two of you are non-demonstrative, but I've been black all my life, so..."
    Rev. McLee preached about how the church is for everybody, and I had a moment of wanting to bring my broken beloveds to my church, but really most of the meatspace people I didn't meet at church either have their own faith tradition or have made a conscious choice that theism/Christianity is not for them.  I have brought friends to church before, but basically as visitors; I think the real "bring a friend to church" I do is on the Internet -- demonstrating that Christians can be devout believers and still be thinkers and seekers and really kind and good people (and queer to boot).
    Other notes:
    If the foot says it doesn't fit, that doesn't make it any less a part of the body (the Scripture he was preaching on was 1 Corinthians 12:12-26).  I was really struck by this -- that we can say we don't fit, that we're not a part of the body, but that doesn't mean that we actually aren't.  And I don't mean this in a squicky way like that your baptism is something magical you can never undo, but in a way which feels really comforting to me personally as a Christian believer, this reminder that we are all God's children.  (During his acceptance speech, Bishop Melvin Talbert said, "Don't let anyone drive you out of your church.")
    "We can't wait until General Conference gets it right to invite folks in."  (Though the understandable hyperbole of the preaching moment elides the fact that it is a really difficult issue to navigate how one can in good conscience invite people into a structure which is going to harm them.)
    "How radical would it be if we spoke to people as we leave the House of Love?"
    Michael Vick -- "where is the redemptive choir?"  I liked his bringing up the fact that church should be present, should be reaching out, when people are trying to rebuild their lives.

During Passing of the Peace, I went to greet Cassandra, and she asked me what I'd been up to or something, and I said that some friends of mine had been having difficult times, so that had been taken up a lot of my time, and she did the usual, "Oh that's so good of you," which I am still not entirely used to, because from my perspective (a) it is an automatic response that of course I would take the time and energy to be present and supportive and whatever, and (b) I only do this for certain people and from my perspective I'm conscious of how little I care to engage with so many people.  I referenced "What I Learned from My Mother" by Julia Kasdorf -- saying that I often return to that idea of how important it is just to be present with someone in their pain, that the "help" you can offer is secondary though also important.

After service, Carolyn introduced me to her STH bff Kelly (I was introduced as her CWM bff), who had actually been sitting in the pew behind me so I'd technically met her during Passing of the Peace.

Why is there such an abundance of people around me going through really difficult times in relationships?

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Five good things about today:
1. In her reply to last night's email, Molly said, "thanks for thinking of me, Elizabeth. Been thinking about you as well--any news on your friend?"
2. In an email, Jonah said, "I checked out the a new organic food/healing products store in Norwood and saw Ava [surname redacted] working there. [...] Ava says hello, wanted me to tell you that she's working at this place and is very glad to be there, and she sends you her love."
3. Peter stopped by my desk and said hi and said, "With everyone out of the office, you must have wiped everything out of your queue -- you seem like the kind of person who would do that."  (This prompted me to actually do some desk-clearing.)
4. phonecall with Ari (Bonus: She asked me about the email that had gotten me so upset the other day, and I talked about it at length but didn't work myself up at all.)
5. Hey look, I get to go to bed early tonight.  (And most of the day today I have't felt particularly tired, despite only having gotten about six hours of sleep last night.)

Three things I did well today:
1. I got up with my alarm and did most of my requisite morning stuff and went to the ( gym )
2. I did some desk-cleaning and dealt with an expense thing I'd been putting off.
3. When I was still hungry after lunch, I opted for fruit+grain bars instead of buying chocolate, even though I could have totally gone for chocolate.
4. I picked up some stuff at CVS, took care of some personal finance stuff, did laundry (including putting it away), and washed dishes.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. sleeping in
2. not going to work

Usually when I visit the library, it's on a Saturday and like no one's there.  But today I got to talk to Michele for like an hour, and said hi to Jane briefly (she was on her way out when I got over there) and also talked to JeanH (UCN) for a while -- and bumped into MikeF on my way out.  [Edit: Oh, and when I got off the Red Line at South Station I saw Rich from work -- heading to the Silver Line to the airport.]

On the Red Line home, there were these two guys (in their fifties maybe?) enjoying Gummie Bears, and when I agreed that Gummie Bears are yummy, the guy sitting across from me told his companion to give me one.  I declined, saying they have gelatin and I'm a vegetarian so I don't eat them, though I used to when I was a kid and I remember they were tasty.  I felt bad making the guys feel guilty, but they were really good-natured about it.

Subject Line = my mantra today.

At one point this afternoon, Sara was waiting for me while I was on the phone and after I hung up I said, "I'm going to kill everyone I work with."  Sara sort of made a hiding gesture and said, "Including me?" and I sort of laughed and said, "No, not you."

From Y!M:
me [2:44 PM] My mother's "Try to be mature and hope it'll pass." is my new mantra. *breathes*
mjules [2:46 PM] Heh. I misread "breathes" as "Beatles," and I was trying to put the two together, though my brain brought up "Let It Be" pretty quickly.
mjules [2:48 PM] (which rather suits, with the whole "Mother speaking wisdom in times of trouble" motif.)

***

Holiday Party today from 4-6pm.  MaryAlice showed up at my desk at 3:52.  I was like, "Um, I was expecting to leave at 4pm.  I'm still doing work."  A few minutes later, she and Katie and Greg were in front of my desk, so I finished up the last email I was working on and headed out.

I don't mind getting to stuff like that right when it starts except for the fact that I don't know a huge amount of people outside of my Unit -- and I see the people in my Unit all the time (I've actually barely seen Katie in like two weeks, but this wasn't necessarily the ideal time to catch up).  But when I went to get dessert (I was peer pressured into starting with healthy food) I bumped into a guy who sees me on the T a lot who introduced himself.  And then I saw Emily from Strategy (whom I know from commuting -- she lives in Teele) and chatted with her and she introduced me to Sean (sp?) who's been temping in their department (and just recently graduated from Hampshire, and is living ridiculously far away like Marshfield).  And then I bumped into Kara (who started as a temp for Katie and is now in GM) and Chris (BGIE -- whom I met randomly at the Centennial).  Later, Jean (floater staff assistant who's been sitting behind me for a few months now) came over and was telling people about what an awesome relationship I have with my faculty (i.e., B) and with other faculty in the department and how well I handle all the craziness of managing these folks.  Hee.

I had 3 glasses of white wine (Bordeaux).

We went back to the office around 6:30, and I killed some time before heading over to my 7:45 class at the div school.

***

Before class, Laurel said, "I was going to get you a Christmas present, but then I heard what my mom's getting you and decided it would be overkill."  I was like, 0.0  She said it should be arriving in a few days.

On our walk back to Harvard Square after class, I was venting and she reached over like to rub my head.  Hee.  ('Cause I am forever petting her hair to comfort her.)

***

On my way up the stairs at Davis, I saw Adam (who temped for Ranjan Monday and Tuesday of this week).  Apparently he lives in Teele, just moved from Chicago two months ago.

***

Walking home, I mentally drafted Prof.B's Performance Evaluation of me if it were just one big prose document (a la what I did for Skarda -- per her request -- when I wanted her to write me a letter of rec).

Why did I dream about being in a cult?  Dreaming about Ben delineating catering options for the Unit makes sense, but srsly?  (I also had two running dreams, which hasn't happened in some time.)

***

( gym )

I hit the cardio room just before 8:00am, so I got to watch Sports Center (ESPN) from the beginning.  They opened with the All-Star Game but, actually didn't say who won until the end of the ten minute rehash of the game, which pleased me.  ( All-Star Game, 2008 )

***

( bisexuality ftw! )

***

( Rest and Bread - theme: Memory )

They have t-shirts that say "Beloved," which I was tempted by, but I saw the one that Gary got [which was long-sleeved, what up?] and it just says it in small print on the front (with a descending dove beneath it, white on navy, so it is lovely) and the back has this giant logo for the church [edit: currently the profile pic on the church's facebook page].  So yeah, opting out of that.

***

Laura Ruth invited me to join her small group, which was meeting Wednesdays at 7pm (right after Rest and Bread service).  I said sure, of course.  She said we would be doing the third question today (I immediately thought of Passover, but just sort of looked at her blankly).  She said that each week all of the small groups discusses the same question, which I knew from last week, but I didn't actually know what the questions were.  So she took me up to her office and gave me the handout.

I knew the groups were about 12 people each (and that only about half that number actually attended group) but hadn't realized that they had "put every last person at First Church into small groups," as the handout says.  Which makes for 10 groups, apparently.

Laura Ruth had to take care of some stuff, so James and I went ahead to JP Licks without her.  I got a medium peanut butter with hot fudge.  Tasty.  I also paid for hers (and totally used it to get points on my loyalty card).  After was had all finished eating ours, she still hadn't arrived, so we left JP Licks and walked back up to the church.  I held her ice cream and ended up eating some of it 'cause it was dripping all over me, but I pointed out that there was a "diminishing marginal utility" (and I didn't even use scare-quotes when I said it) since I was already full.

Also present were Carolyn, Kim, Daniel-Rosie, and, joining us later: Carolyn's sister Marjorie (all of whom were new to me).

( spiritual gifts; prayer )

Sunday, July 27 they're having a Blessing of the Animals (yes they're not following the liturgical calendar) in combination with Vegetarian Sunday (followed by a vegetarian potluck).  I was first tempted at the news that last year someone brought a hedgehog to the Blessing of the Animals, but I think it is Vegetarian Sunday that will really entice me to go.

***

Group wrapped up around 9pm, so I was still able to go see Gender Redesigner at the Brattle.  (So you see why I didn't get this post finished last night.  I got home around quarter of midnight and practically fell into bed.)

Heading into Davis T Station I passed Tamerleigh coming out.  She couldn't remember my name, but we hugged, both as hello and goodbye.  Win.

( documentary: Gender Redesigner )

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CineMental does a film at the Brattle the third Wednesday of every month, and the next one is Trans Entities, Wed. Aug. 20 at 9:30pm.  The night before I come back from Europe.  I am missing docu-porn!  :(

I did ~25min in the weight room this morning.

I called Cailin's realtor (left him a voicemail).  I will probably send a followup e-mail tomorrow.

I put up a new shower curtain in the bathroom -- against the wall, so I was standing on the edge of the tub 'cause I'm a shortie.  I felt very accomplished when I was done.

paper_crystals is planning a picnic for her birthday the same Saturday I was planning a house party for my 25th bday (July 12).

I'm gonna be in San Diego for an afternoon and Los Angeles for a weekend visiting my brother in late June.  Any suggestions for places to see, things to do, etc.?

***

I went to the free lunch NEG debrief today -- in part because I figure I'm gonna be involved in the course next year more likely than not, so it would probably make sense, and in part because hi, all my lunch people will be at this meeting so who else am I gonna eat with?  (It was Nicki soliciting feedback on the course from the FA's.)

We were talking about Learning Teams and how they're set up, and Kyle said something about mixing together the Oklahoma Sooners with the Yale Bulldogs, and MaryAlice perked up (she loves bulldogs) and asked if that was really the Yale mascot.  He said yeah, that and the "Elis."  Someone asked what that referenced, and Kyle said, "Elijah?"  I said that beat out my alma mater's history of Virgins, Unicorns, and Pioneers.

( of course after I got back to my desk I did research )

***

CHPC Book Group got canceled tonight (Karl just returned from Rome and was exhausted), so I got to have more time with Jonah.

We went to Namaskar (will do Mr. Crepe next time) for dinner.  I am not used to looking at a menu and having so many appealing options.  I ultimately got the Saag Paneer.  And ice cream for dessert.

Among other things, we talked about modern lit and how "book club books" are looked down on.  Amy, I immediately thought of you and YA lit and reality tv.  In talking about ya lit, we (by which I mostly mean "I") mentioned: Speak (Laurie Halse Anderson), Empress of the World (Sara Ryan), Hard Love (Ellen Witlinger), and Chris Crutcher (specifically Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes).

We walked to Porter and outside the T station, Nicki saw us.  Whee!  I ended up T-ing with Jonah all the way back to Forest Hills (where he picked up the 34E to go home).  I sort of wished I'd had The Economist on me to read on the way home.