burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

Conversation with my mom just now:

my mom:

Well, I've gotten THREE calls from the Mass Dept of Health to beg me to stay home tonight. So I trust you will not be doing any wild partying.

me:

Because wild partying is definitely my style even when there's not a pandemic on...

my mom:

perhaps long complicated conversations with a small group of dedicated kindred spirits and snacks

me:

Aww, it's like you know me :D

My mom drove us to Singspiration (partly because the car was parked out back, where it's a bit challenging to get it out), but I got to drive us home. My mom said I drove more confidently, and I definitely felt more confident than I had the last time. (Obviously it helped that there was basically no one else on the road.)

I was in Norwood Friday night for a belated joint birthday celebration with Elyse and her mom Janna (they live 2 towns over from my parents).

At dinner, I said to my mom, "You're not going to let me drive to Janna and Elyse's tonight, are you?"
my mom: "Are you capable of driving there?"
me: "Define 'capable'."
My mother was not inspired by this answer.
I explained that obviously I think I'm capable if I'm asking, so I didn't really know how to answer the question.
She asked about the driving I'd done and decided that no, I was not going to drive to Janna and Elyse's -- but she pointed out that my dad could take me driving the next day.

So we did. I drove around the parking lot a bunch first to acclimate to the car. I hadn't expected to need to do that, but taking my foot off the brake the car moved a lot more than I was expecting, so I wanted to get used to maneuvering it before I took it on the road. (He asked me what kind of car I'd beee driving and I had no idea. I mean, I know it's about the same size and it's also an automatic and I know how to adjust the mirrors in the car ... but I pay zero attention to car brands. My parents' car is a Toyota Corolla, but I couldn't have told you that until Saturday.)

My dad let me choose where I drove, since I know the town. I mis-estimated, however, and ended up on more trafficked streets after not too long. There wasn't a lot of traffic, though, so it wasn't very stressful. I think I still haven't done lefts onto major roads now that I think of it, but I've done rights onto them and crossed them (both of which I'd done before). I also did a rotary for the first time -- almost empty, which is good since I got all confused about how I was supposed to be signaling (where I wanted to turn off would have been a left when I entered the rotary if it wasn't the rotary, but you don't signal until you're approaching your street and at that point it's a right).

I mostly stayed in my lane -- though at least once my dad pointed out that I was drifting across the white line on the right; and the big thing was that I need to start turning sooner when I make turns ... I pull out into the street and *then* start to turn, which is inefficient bordering on dangerous. Intellectually I believe him when he tells me to start turning, but it totally *feels* like if I start turning then I'm going to hit the parked car that's on the street I'm turning right onto.

I felt less stressed driving than I usually do, and I'm not exactly sure why that was. I think partly the roads felt wider -- like it felt less claustrophobic than driving on the side streets around FCS where not only are the roads narrower but the houses are so much closer together. I think it also felt more like suburban driving than city driving -- less traffic (and thus fewer instances of concern that I was going slower than the cars behind me -- though I definitely did have some of that), not having cross streets all the time, ... NO BICYCLISTS! (though there was one who had been riding on a sidewalk and crossed in front of me and hey, there's a hedge there so cars can't see you until they're practically in the intersection so maybe you wanna be more careful bicyclist dude), fewer intersections where you have to pull up into the intersection to see everything (probably related to houses etc. being more spread out, less piling all onto each other).

I think I'm getting better at keeping an eye on my side mirror.

We drove for ~45min and my dad was silent for most of it, which was basically fine, just different from driving with FCS-Ian. In part, I think this was because my dad was basically letting me just practice driving, whereas FCS-Ian (a) has a history of all the times I've driven previously and the bad tendencies I have and the things I need to work on, and (b) therefore has some agenda for what we're practicing that day.

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with Jesus and the disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked Jesus' disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'^{[Hosea 6:6]} For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Then John's disciples came and asked, "How is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?"

Jesus answered, "How can the guests of the wedding party mourn while the one to be married is still with them? The time will come when the one to be married will be taken from them; then they will fast.

-Matthew 9:10-15 (NIV, edited)

( Read more... )

I did not prep a post on how my mommy is awesome, but she totes is, and it is her birthday today.

She just emailed me:

Subject: rainbow flag

do you have any random rainbow flags or other visual items that you don't want?
we just had a meeting with the LGBT people [at work] and I kinda want to put up a flag on my door :)

When we had dinner on Friday, she was talking about the parts of her job she most likes are the ones where she feels like she's actually helping with the students -- and she talked about meeting with the LGBTQ group and wanting to do stuff "other than not stone gay people." I told her that gay people appreciated her not stoning them :)

We've reached that point in the season when people say, "It's so cold out" (in a negative tone) and I say, "I think it's beautiful out."

I was a bit cold when I left my house this morning, but under my snowflake hoodie I was wearing a t-shirt (for the gym). At work I wore my sparkly dark blue sweater. Walking between buildings on campus this afternoon, I didn't need my hoodie, and walking places after work I took off my hoodie because I was too warm. (Yes, it was in the 30s F today; not windy, though.)

***

When I arrived at Mt. Auburn this evening, my mom was sitting up in a chair, chatting with my dad, eating "dinner" (my dad's update email tonight said, "I've never seen so many different kinds of clear liquids in one place: soup, jello, tea, Italian ice, ginger ale, and apple juice."). She was wearing her glasses, which I realized was probably one reason why she had looked somewhat strange to me at my earlier visits (because she didn't have them on then).

Later, we walked partway down the hall. She said it feels good to walk. "It feels good to rest, but why does resting always have to be in a prone position? Isn't there a stationary bike or something I can rest on?" She still can't roll over on her own, so she buzzes a nurse every hour to turn her to her other side; she says she feels like a rotisserie chicken.

+

My mother's liturgical planning delusion today was that we were in Paris :)

She said was telling someone about how her brain apparently thinks we're coming up on Easter instead of Christmas, and the person said, "Maybe you're feeling a bit resurrected."

My mom said she was watching some PBS kids show today involving questions about books [this, I think], and one of them was something about the origin of Santa, and for a moment she held out a flicker of hope that the answer would be The Book of Luke, but no, it was The Night Before Christmas, which she conceded was fair. I said I was fairly certain Santa does not show up in The Book of Luke :) (I also thought but did not say, "Aren't the gift-bearing Magi in Matthew?")

+

Apparently she's been misquoting me to people as having said "bonus happy hysterectomy."

Near the end of visiting hours, she caught up on facebook a bit on my netbook. She can focus on short bursts of text (she's on Percoset; she called me around 4:30 and asked me to pick up a People magazine on my way, said that's about where her cognition level is at -- looking at pictures and reading captions). I told her I could leave it with her if she wanted, but she said she's still somewhat clumsy (and the netbook keyboard takes some getting used to anyway) and so she would end up spending a lot of time on it not actually doing much when she could be, for example, sleeping.

My mom to me, as I was leaving: "Say hi to Melissa [my housemate], Ari, random people you meet on the street..."