burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

On the MLK Day holiday last night, Thom and Colleen watched a YouTube concert which I dipped in and out of.

Like, Rachael Sage was on the artist list -- leading to this from me in chat:

I mean, do I know any of Rachael Sage's songs other than "The Spirit We" off of her 1996 album _Morbid Romantic_? Maybe not. But when I was going through the list just now I recognized her name and had a college flashback.

Oh, also "Bruises Without Blue" from _Smashing the Serene_ (1998)? /me has been Googling to remind myself what songs of hers I actually know, obviously

and then today:

omg, Google reminded me of "Sistersong" (also from _Smashing the Serene_).  Which I'm a little bit ashamed of, because that one is my *favorite.*.

I'm definitely also trying to remember who sent me MP3s of her songs when I was in college. offbalance?

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So, this is from the blurb for the concert:

“Move Forward Virtual Music Fest,” to raise money to safely relocate two historic Confederate Monuments from the Bastrop County Courthouse Lawn, in Bastrop, TX, will take place on Monday, Jan. 18th (MLK Day ’21) at 6:30pm CT.
HOW TO GIVE:
By online donation: https://www.bastropconfederatemonumentrelocationfund.org/

And it was mostly music, but this white dude who does The Daily Stoic podcast talked for, I kid you not, 15 minutes (well, including the below-mentioned second video). I had him muted almost his entire time.

Thom:

"Do I still appreciate German culture and my German family? Sure." JESUS FUCKING CHRIST  

MY GOD. HE FINISHED AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER PRE-RECORDED VIDEO FROM THE SAME DUDE‽‽‽‽  

I HOPE HE GAVE THEM A FUCKTON OF MONEY  

me:

> Grace Pettis
> This is Ryan Holiday, best-selling author and Bastrop local, who has already given $10K to the cause.

Thom:

FINE

Still wanna claw out my ears.

Hell hath no torment like a White Man with a Mission  

"Our norms are collapsing." I can't even....  

me:

I mean, lbr, I'm a little dubious about this whole project to "ensure that the history these two monuments represent is preserved" (to quote from the donation website).  Like, just bring them down and grind them into dust.  No one needs this to be preserved.

Thom:

I mean, there's an argument for keeping things in a museum, but yeah, what value do these monuments even have that a history book or museum plaque can't?  

( click to read us getting increasingly upset about 'preserving' Confederate monuments )

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Some of the music was good, though?

Grace Pettis' "White Noise" led me to say in chat:

"What have you done? Where is your brother?"  I am here for the subtle biblical references in this song.  (Among other things.  This is maybe my favorite song of the night?)

I also appreciate this:
> MPress Records recording artist Grace Pettis has released a powerful new single, "White Noise". 100% of the proceeds will be donated to Color Of Change, which "leads campaigns that build real power for Black communities" (including their current fight for justice for Breonna Taylor).
-https://www.pastemagazine.com/noisetrade/music/gracepettis/white-noise

(Yes, it was probably my favorite, even though The Chicks showed their "March March" music video.)

Not all the songs were Issue songs, which was fine, but of the ones that were, I vastly preferred the ones that didn't feel blandly, "Love, be nice to each other, we're all the same, maybe some bonus patriotism."

+

Thom last night:

I appreciate that a bunch of the men needed to bloviate and Jackie Venson is like, "Great cause. Gonna play you some songs."

And then Thom in group chat today:

Watching Nobody’s Girl videos, then listening to Jackie Venson, from last night’s show.

I appreciate that BettySoo’s entire consistent aesthetic in this video seems to be “Fuck your beauty standards; I could not be bothered to brush my hair."

Okay, I saw maybe one or two exceptions? But there are definitely multiple shots of her “dressed up” with (intentionally?) unkempt hair.

I also appreciate that this is clearly a pandemic video, including appearances by pets, projects, and at least one partner.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDNXzeUapeE

The song is kinda meh, musically, and I did not do a good job following the lyrics.  

Liking “Waterline” a lot better (not that “Tiger” was _bad_, exactly): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDvSW81rYGQ  

I prefer the acoustic version of this (link below) to the one on the album, but that surprises maybe nobody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48zglqwnjB0

I just made literally 3 FB posts, so maybe a blog post? 😂

***

Today's Super Saturday "Creating Beloved Community" session with Unity Circles and Families for Justice as Healing was So Good.

The first 3 minutes of this "What Is Transformative Justice?" video are amazing (though it's worth watching the full ~10 minutes).

adrienne maree brown:

• talks about how we've been socialized into "punitive justice"...
  
• names "restorative justice" as a first step in the right direction: "Harm has happened. How do we restore ourselves back to that relationship that existed before the harm happened?"
  
• but points out that it doesn't necessarily go far enough, "because if the original conditions were unjust, then returning to those original conditions is not actually justice"...
  
• says transformative justice goes down to the root system and asks what do we need to do so that this harm is no longer possible?
  
• notes that the state is so committed to punitive justice that it's not going to be able to help with transformative justice, so the state is not where we should turn for this...

Mia Mingus' bare bones definition of transformative justice is: "a way of responding to violence and harm without causing more violence and harm."

Also, around minute 7, I really appreciate Ann Russo naming cultivating a culture of accountability, how starting that around small things is really preventative of large harms.

Mia Mingus then builds on that, emphasizing skill-building around:

• good communication,
• apologizing well,
• having generative conflict with the people in our everyday lives,
• teaching children about consent and accountability,
• etc.

Mingus notes that with transformative justice, people often rush to the biggest crises and biggest forms of violence -- but that building foundational everyday things is the sustainable work that ripples out and has a larger impact.

Martina Kartman defines transformative justice as: how we prevent violence, how we intervene in violence, and then how we support each other in the aftermath of violence.

Prya Rai lifts up that so much of this work has been done by generations of people who could never rely on people outside of their communities, could never rely on the state (immigrants, queer people of color, disabled people, sex workers, etc.).

***

Also on the subject of transformative justice:

“People think of transformative justice as a lighter and easier way of accountability,” she [Camila Pelsinger, Brown University ’20] adds. “But it’s hard work. It takes months, and lots of vulnerable meetings. It’s seeing the worst things you’ve ever done and looking at them. And you have to reflect without denying it.” She has seen real change in people she works with: “A lot of people didn’t even realize how much harm they had caused, and also how deeply embedded harmful ideas about sex and consent were.”

-"Justice, in Community: A non-punitive approach", Brown Alumni Magazine

***

The Brown article above mentions "pods." More info about that idea (which originated with the Bay Area Transformative Justice Collective [BATJC] in 2014) here.

In this afternoon's Super Saturday workshop, 2 people roleplayed inviting someone into your immediate circle of support pods, and one of them suggested using a specific emoji to indicate "I need this to be a support conversation right now" and/or having specific hours that you both agree you can call on this person.

I loved this emphasis on being thoughtful strategizing in advance about how you would call on this support, and also in being really thoughtful and honest about what your capacity is to offer support.

As someone noted in chat:

Pod mapping is strategic
and thoughtful
and a process

I spent most of today on Twitter reading about #AntonioMartin. Before that it was #DontreHamilton. I tried to make a list and oh, so many...

As per usual, December has been busy with work, and I haven't been especially ~feeling~ the Christmas lead-up. This is probably exacerbated by my being in another "the more I engage with the Bible, the less I identify as a Christian" phase.

I went to Christmas Eve service at my mom's church tonight, expecting the usual warm fuzzy kind of service.

We sang "I Heard the Bells," which I don't think we've sung at Christmas Eve before (though we often do at December Singspiration), which pleased me because we don't usually touch on the sadness, the darkness, the fact that all the Christmas joys we sing of have yet to be fully realized. ( lyrics )

Kevin (the pastor) gave brief reflections after each of the readings, and fine, talk about Jesus as fulfillment of promises, I won't argue with you in this moment about why I feel uncomfortable uncomplicatedly invoking Jesus as fulfillment of Jewish prophecies...

We sang "O Holy Night," though we definitely struggled with it (and not just the high notes in the refrain), which was a bummer to me as some of it is so good. I was pleased that we got to sing

[Her] law is love and [Her] gospel is peace.
Chains [she] shall break, for the slave is our [sibling].
And in [her] name all oppression shall cease.

(Yeah, I didn't edit the Longfellow poem when I c&p'ed it above, but I totally sang she pronouns for Deity throughout the service tonight, as is my tendency when ~inclusifying on the fly.)

In his reflection, Kevin called us back to that bit and talked about how the 2 sins that God was forever chastising Israel about were idolatry & oppression of the poor and the widows ... and I was so stoked and yet all he went on to say was blah blah blah Jesus as fulfillment of promise. Earlier, he had talked about animals in the creche and Saint Francis and Isaiah's promise of the redemption of all Creation, so I was left with the implication that "When God/Jesus redeems all of Creation ... at the Second Coming ... then the oppressed will be raised up etc. [not that we talked about the Magnificat at all] but until then just hang out and trust in God's eventual promise."

When I talked to my mom afterward, she said that Kevin's been talking about discipleship a lot on Sundays, which actually makes it feel worse to me because dozens of people this is the one time you're gonna get them this season and you don't take the opportunity to talk about God's call on their lives? Great, maybe some people learned some new things, but I was left with nothing about why Jesus' birth into the world matters to us now.

Earlier, when the choir director intro'ed "Joseph's Song" (the choir selection), he said something about how we often don't hear much about Joseph, and in my head, I was like, " #WhatAboutTheMen? Really?" The song was mostly Joseph talking about Mary and the baby, so it wasn't that bad -- and I do recognize that there are problematics to erasing Joseph out of the story -- but so often in conversations about folks on the margins/folks who are oppressed, people jump in to try to make sure we also talk about the privileged people and how they matter too, so I'm primed.

Frustrated with the almost-but-not-quite-there mention of Christ's mission of ending oppression, I came out of the service wanting to make my own Christmas (Eve)* service about the inbreaking of God into messy humanity, making Christ's home amongst the marginalized -- possibly incorporating the Jesus wasn't born in a stable argument -- and because I'm me and was cranky about #WhatAboutTheMen and how we skipped Mary's Magnificat in our journey through Luke (1:26-37, 2:1-7, and 2:8-16, but no 1:39/46-55), I wanted to queer the grown-up that baby Jesus would become (trans girl stone butch of my bff's heart or something).

* I admit it hadn't occurred to me until I went to write this just now how this service might be different if it were a Christmas Eve vs. Christmas Day (or elsewhere Christmastide) service ... what it is that we're maybe trying to get at with a Christmas Eve service that might be different from e.g. a Christmas Day service.

Last Tuesday night I was at a visioning session [and yes, I would like a less ableist term for that] for a group I've been involved with for much of this year, and I repeatedly said that social justice isn't where my passion is. And just about every time I said it, I felt a little twinge like I was lying -- because fat pol and disability pol and mental health pol ... these are all issues that have become very important to me. But they're not issues where people are going to say, "Yes, I'm totally on board with that -- or at least as a good liberal I feel like I 'should' be."

And so I frequently don't speak up and advocate for these things I care about, because I am, contrary to how I may appear, frequently a risk-averse confrontation-avoidant person. (Reasons I don't self-identify as an activist.)

So I am owning the things I care about.

( Read more... )

So, I have yet to finish the sermon from early October about my problems with the "It Gets Better Initiative," but I was really pleased to see this on facebook:

PUT THIS ON THE {MAP} is reteaching gender and sexuality to professionals such as school administrators, social workers, health care providers and juvenile probation staff. With youth voices at the forefront, our team of educators use dynamic, relevant and informative professional development trainings and workshops to shift the conversation about gender and sexuality in our communities. Find out more on this site about our award-winning documentary, our upcoming tour, and our professional development work.

Our current project Reteaching Gender & Sexuality is a message about queer youth action and resilience. The video was generated to contribute additional queer/trans youth voices to the national conversations about queer/trans youth lives. Reteaching Gender & Sexuality intends to steer the conversation beyond the symptom of bullying, to consider systemic issues and deeper beliefs about gender and sexuality that impact queer youth. We invite you to share the video with your friends, family and networks; we invite you to share with us what THIS issue means to you! The video was created by PUT THIS ON THE MAP!

From ephemere's post "Patalim" (trigger warning for descriptions of violence):


[For more, especially on the specific incident that prompted this, check out, for example, fiction_theory/megwrites' post -- links go to LJ/DW, respectively.  Also, manifesta.]

Are Victoria's Secret ads inappropriate for a progressive website (because they objectify women)?

So, Queer the Census has a Bracket of Evil.  My feelings about *that* aside, I am deeply uncomfortable that one of their categories is "Crazies."  Way to contribute to the stigmatization and marginalization of persons with mental illness.  I am proud of me that I shot them back a quick email registering my discomfort (totally not as thoughtful and articulate as it could have been, but I decided I didn't have the energy for that kind of perfectionism today and if I just shot off a quick email it would actually get sent, as opposed to my usual m.o. of never getting anything finished).

il my best friend

She forwarded me the below with the note "I thought this might be relevant to your interests."

Though the public hearing is on a teaching day, and I already wanna take the following day (also a teaching day) off to go to First Church Somerville's prayer retreat.

( Read more... )

The readings this morning were

Isaiah 9:2-7
Luke 2:15-20

FCS-Ian said that he's struck by the image of the little baby in the Isaiah passage, in contrast to all the stuff about warriors, garments drenched in blood and all that. I said, "but the garments drenched in blood will be fuel for the fire -- war is over."

Ian, his dad, Tim D., and I, went to breakfast at The Broken Yolk.

I had almost nothing to do at work, so I caught up on YouTube embeds on "when loves come to town" blog. One was U2 doing "I Believe in Father Christmas." [blogpost, YouTube, lyrics]

One line is "Hallelujah Noel, be it Heaven or Hell, the Christmas you we get you we deserve." I expected the song to go on and undermine that line, but it turns out to be the last line.

I, of course, have problems with that. There are people who are grieving, and the deaths of their loved ones are not their fault, and grief isn't something you can just turn off at will.

In her Reflection last night, Laura Ruth talked about how one thing that helps her in the Christmas season is the reminder that we do this every year -- that she doesn't have to wholly "get it right" this time.

As I was nearing my house around ten past two this afternoon, birds were twittering and stuff was melted and it felt rather like spring (weather.com said 37F *shrug*), which felt somewhat fitting. (It got cold once the sun had set, though.)

On the Senate passing the health care bill, Megan McArdle said:

I'm not sure how much more point there is in talking about it until the legislative particulars emerge from the final bill. At this point, pretty much everyone is exhausted--the politicians, the CBO analysts, and the journalists who cover it. I assume y'all are too.

So go have a merry Christmas. Whatever you think of this bill, things will still be better than they ever have been in all of human history whether or not it passes. So go out and sample some peace on earth and goodwill to men for a few days. After the holiday, we can all get back to shouting at each other.

I was unimpressed by CHPC's Christmas Eve service. I did like that in the Prayer, Karl said, "In this season of excess, we remember all who are empty." And I also liked the Affirmation of Faith:

I believe in Jesus Christ and in the beauty of the gospel begun in Bethlehem.

I believe in the one whose spirit glorified a little town; and whose spirit still brings music to persons all over the world in towns large and small.

I believe in the one for whom the crowded inn could find no room, and I confess that my heart still sometimes wants to exclude Christ and others from my life today.

I believe in the one who the rulers of the earth ignored and the proud could never understand; whose life was among the common people, whose welcome came from persons of hungry hearts.

I believe in the one who proclaimed the love of God to be invincible.

I believe in the one whose cradle was a mother's arms and who by love brought sinners back to life, and lifted human weakness up to meet the strength of God.

I confess our ever-lasting need of God, the need of new life for empty souls, the need of love for hearts grown cold.

I believe in Jesus, the beloved child of the living God, born in Bethlehem this night, for me and for the world.

(Walter Russell Bowie, adapted)

[NGL, I almost got choked up at that last bit.]

UCN's Christmas Eve service was, basically, the same one it is every year (see tag/previous year's entries). CHPC uses The New Century Hymnal (to Karl's disgruntlement) and tonight I kept feeling really thrown by the slightly changed lyrics (and it's not all gender -- "O Little Town of Bethlehem" has "No one discerns God's coming..." instead of the ableist "No ear may hear His coming...") because I was instinctively singing the traditional words, even all the "O come let us adore Him," without even registering them as male-default/hierarchical; but then I was at UCN (whose hymnal has all the traditional words) and noticed all the male etc. language and wasn't pleased about singing the traditional versions.

CHPC didn't dim the sanctuary at all, and UCN was dim but then we raised the lights on the front part so Pastor Bill could read everything (he's in a wheelchair, so he was down at the Communion table rather than up in a pulpit which would have its own light) and didn't ever dim them again. Lessens the effect of the candlelit "Silent Night" a bit. Sigh.

Scott emailed me tonight, Subject: "MC, QED! <eom>"
♥