burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

scene, Sunday evening:
me: What time do you think you'll be in the shower tomorrow morning?
Housemate: About 9:30.
[...]
(a little after 9pm) me: I'm gonna head to bed.
Housemate: You're definitely gonna be up before me tomorrow morning, then.
me: ... I was gonna say that I didn't get a lot of sleep this weekend, but 12 hours is a LOT of sleep.

Monday morning:
(quarter to 9am) me: *gets up*

[After I got up Monday morning, I had 32 new emails -- 17 of which were birthday wishes on my Facebook Wall.]

Ultimately I had 58 Facebook happy birthdays (plus one from Nicki the night before because it was already tomorrow in Thailand), an LJ comment, 2 txt msgs, an email from my bff, and a card from my sister-in-law.

+

Sunday evening had also included Housemate wondering aloud, "What do I want to eat for dinner on my birthday?" which prompted me to wonder what *I* wanted for dinner for my birthday. Monday night happened to be the one evening all week I didn't already have plans.

It ocurred to me that I could take the train out to my parents' for dinner -- provided they didn't already have other plans. They didn't -- though my mom got my email late enough that she didn't have time to bake a cake (I was like: You just baked 2 cakes for our party -- I really wasn't expecting more cake to go along with on-my-birthday dinner).

My mom posted to facebook (Sunday night, though I didn't see it until Monday): "I get to have my grrl on her birthday! (Makes a Mama Bear's heart go pit-a-pat) :)"

The monthly Harvard queer women's staff+faculty lunch was today, so I biked out for that. Despite having had breakfast ~10am, I was getting hungry right around the time I was getting ready to leave for that, so since it's a BYOLunch, I stopped at Panera afterward.

Then I mailed my package, went to the gym, made my CWM bank deposit ... and had a little over an hour before I needed to leave Harvard Square -- which gave me enough time to bike home and back but not much else, so that didn't make much sense. So I figured I'd just get an earlier train.

In South Station, some massage place was offering chair massages for $1/min and hey, it was my birthday, so I got a 15-minute chair massage.

I took the 4:45 to Norwood Central.

They didn't take my ticket on the way out, so yay half-free ride.

Starting down Winslow Ave., I saw a pest control vehicle, the back window of which someone had written things like "BEWARE BUGS" and "BUGMAN" and I remembered the Tot Lot.

I spent ~20min on the swings. (My mom told me later that she'd seen an article recently about an adult-sized playground which didn't have swings, to which she was like, "Elizabeth would be sadfaced." True story.)

As I started back on Winslow, I realized that my mom's train was due in in about 10 minutes, and it seemed silly to get home shortly before her, so I went to wait for the train to meet her to walk home with her.

My mom said she is "vicariously fierce." Um, ditto.

After dinner, we played a lot of rounds of UNO -- none of which I won.

I came home from Harvard Square (where I'd parked my bike) via Mass Ave, successfully, without dying. (I definitely appreciated the lack of traffic at ~10:15pm on a Monday night in the summer.) Though the paving there is really bumpy, which I don't appreciate -- though I imagine it would be a monster to try to shut down any of that to repave it.

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

( Read more... )

Aww, my first birthday card of the season is from my future-sister-in-law :) (cosigned by my brother).

Edit:
me (in bedroom): [posts entry]
housemate (in living room): "SHOW ME THE GLITTER"

Saturday, July 10 (the Saturday immediately adjacent to mine and my housemate's birthdays).

We're having a party that night -- 8pm until whenever.

My mom emailed me this morning:

Happy Birthday Beautiful!

Happy birthday to you,
      Happy birthday to you,
              Happy birthday, dear Elizabeth ,
                      Happy birthday to you!

Did we get a gift? Yes
      Send a card? Yes
            Bake a cake?  Saturday

I think we got you covered :-)

Hope people are lovely to you today!
[if not, those mama bear claws will come out and git ‘em]

***

Unsolicited, Greg wished me a happy birthday and gave me a hug.

Ben picked up chocolate coffee cake at the grocery store (in honor of the incoming doctoral students, I think).  We each had 3 slices.

Rey the mail guy (37 tomorrow) gave me a hug.  \o/

***

I feel like I know very few people outside of my department, but the list of people I invited to lunch was actually really long -- except everyone had a summer class or a deadline or a doctor's appointment or was home sick or whatever, so that got deferred to next week.  Sigh.  (I was really kind of in the mood for Le's' peanut ginger tofu.  Boo.  I ended up having trail mix instead.  I thought about getting Spangler stirfry and eating outside with a book, except I just couldn't bring myself to -- I dunno, I had spates of weird today.  I came home and had leftover tofu stirfry and a banana, though, so I feel okay about my body.)

***

All the cheap hair places in Davis close at like 6pm, so I decided fuck it and went to Salon Cu.  Birthday present to myself, or something.  Fixing last month's haircut.

I forgot how nice it can be to get my hair cut at a f'real salon.  ("You have awesome hair," Lauren-the-stylist said.)  And they style it so it looks way nicer than it ever will on my own -- so arguably I should have done it Saturday before our big party.  Oh well.

I also feel really badass, 'cause coming home I was approaching the Boston Ave. intersection and it had a walk light and so I jogged across to make the light and I just kept jogging/running until I got home.  I remember when I lived in Norwood I'd be walking somewhere and would get in the mood to run and I'd probably more like sprint for a block or two and then have to stop so I didn't die.  So tonight I felt like, "Hey, this is what one is able to do after one has done the treadmill three times a week for months.  \o/"  (GoogleMaps Pedometer tells me the distance from the intersection to my house is ~0.488mi, so it's totally not wicked badass, and I was definitely breathing heavily by the end, but whatever.)

And wow, my whole mood was so improved by having happy hair.

And I laundered my winter sheets and put my spring sheets on my bed, and I washed dishes.  And I got to talk to my bff, and it was substantive and easy and just good.

And my housemate read me a bunch of #1stdraftmovielines.

I heard fireworks around 9:30 and 9:50.  I had forgotten that Somerville's fireworks were tonight until the hair stylist asked me if I was going.  I suppose I could have gone for my birthday, but I am very okay with my decision to not go.

***

Jeremy wished me "Happy "43 notifications from Facebook" day!" so of course I did up the stats:
facebook: 8 (plus Jeremy plus one early one from Alexis in Finland, and a facebook gift from another friend)
LJ: 3
email: 5 (not counting all the replies to my birthday lunch email that said things along the lines of "sorry I can't come to lunch, but have a happy birthday")
also: phonecall from my brother

Edit:
Following the posting of this (which was not a plea for more happy birthday wishes, I swear -- though I certainly will not reject them):
3 6 LJ comments, 3 LJ posts, 1 2 facebook Wall posts

( Saturday's party )

( boring Sunday, not much to say )

Opening reception for the newest exhibition at the Nave Gallery, "The Secret Knowledge of Water," this Friday from 6-8pm.  Anyone wanna come with me?

Things which are made of win:

* One of my best friends calling me on my way to work to wish me a happy birthday.
* antheia's birthday message to me :)
* Lorraine sent me a birthday card which has a sullen looking white fluffy cat (wearing a tiara) on the front, and on the inside it says, "I like you. (And I'm finicky!) Happy Birthday"
* A certain someone actually remembering my birthday.

I also got assorted Facebook/e-mail/LJ messages, and my mommy sent me a birthday e-mail to both my personal and my work e-mail addresses :)  And MaryAlice remembered this morning before she got in to work and sent me a birthday e-mail.   Also, hee, a text message from Emma!  (You're making this a tradition, aren't you?)

*

We always go to Pho Pasteur Le's (usually at my request), so I decided we should go somewhere else for a change.  I had Bombay Club in mind since it's one of the places in Harvard Square I haven't yet been to (and comes highly recommended by some of the faculty), forgetting that I'd actually just been for Indian on Friday.  Anyway, the food was pretty good.

While we were eating, Eric commented that he doesn't really like Indian food much, doesn't really like the taste of the spices they use (he got rice and some kind of chicken), so I asked, "So why'd you come have lunch with us if you don't like Indian?"  (Bear in mind, he dislikes sitting still for long periods of time, so he's taken to running errands during lunchtime -- or working through lunch so as to leave early, particularly on days when he's dead from boredom -- rather than eating with us like every other day.)  He replied, in this tone like I had just asked the stupidest question ever, "Because it was your birthday."  Aww.

They add an 18% gratuity for parties of 5 or more (we were 5), which isn't a huge surprise (though I'm used to it being 6 or more), but we looked at the menu and at the buffet and all ultimately opted for the buffet.  Granted, people come and take away your used dishes and bring you more water, and ask if you'd like coffee or anything, but it still felt a little weird.

Ranjan lives in Davis Square, too, so I asked him what his favorite Indian restaurant in the area is, and he far and away recommended Punjab Cafe in Arlington.  kurukami, I thought I'd pass that on :)

There's a Malaysian place (Rendang) across from Bombay Club, which we may try out for MaryAlice's birthday.

***

In ASL class tonight we learned lots of prepositions and verbs and direction words and suchlike.  I jotted down most of the words but mostly despaired of actually writing down hints of any of the actual sign-actions.  For example, "school" and "paper" are similar, but I feel like we learned another sign tonight that also looked very similar to that one.  A lot of the signs (especially direction type words) feel intuitive, but grasping the subtleties of how the similar ones are different from each other feels a bit overwhelming.

We learned "come" and I giggled and looked at Will and he was like, "NO."  But then we had the midway break and he was all, "Go, ask him your question."  I explained that no, I already knew how to sign it, and explained about Sunday.  I did ask how to say "birthday," though.

In the parking lot after class, Will was chatting with Maura, and she was talking about how it's her birthday on Wednesday (she turns 23) and I mentioned that it's my birthday today, and Will turns to me and says, "WHAT?"  I honestly had thought he had been present for the conversation at Sunday dinner, but apparently not.

In other news, Lindsay was saying that some of the words we learned today are real signs that mean something distinctly different in NZSL -- our word "cafe" means "cousin" in NZSL, and even more terrifically, our sign for "boss" is NZSL for "taking your dog out for a pee."  Oh, and apparently the Name Sign she was given is very close to the ASL sign for "transgender."

I declared today the beginning of the two weeks of celebrating my birthday.  kurukami (Mark) and I had made plans to go out to dinner, and two weeks from tonight is when we scheduled the joint-birthday (my brother's is August 1) dinner.

We were going to get Thai, but we couldn't find the place despite the fact that we both remembered passing it on Elm St. one of our previous times, so instead we went to one of the many Indian restaurants.  I ordered something the name of which I don't quite remember (Paneer Dosai?) which was potatoes and "mild spices" and etc. and delivered as promised.  I was not expecting it to come in a wrap, though.  That was really . . . long.  I didn't know how one was supposed to eat it, so  I just cut into it.  It deflated ;)  Mark quipped (complete with girly voice), "Oh, it was so big, and long, and yet, so hollow."  I was also pleased to see that they sell Riesling (St. "M") by the glass.  And I had cashew&raisin ice cream for dessert.

[Wow, I've been spending too much time on del.icio.us (830 and counting) -- I went to tag this entry and my instinct was to type my tags with no spaces and to separate them by spaces rather than by commas.]

I've been having trouble falling asleep nights and what do I do this evening?  I take a nap.  ::rolls eyes at self::  I blame the humidity.

I woke up at 7:46 this morning and still got to work five minutes of 9.  (RA was taking me out, so I didn't make lunch.)  OSS guy was coming out as I was coming in -- of the building! -- and said he'd just taken 6 boxes next to my cubicle and were those the ones I wanted taken to the archives.  (They were)  Rock on.  [I am honestly most impressed that he recognized me]

Cailin came in 10:24am, said "Happy post-birthday." :)

1:12pm, Cailin to me: "So, are you starving yet?"  (I usually go to lunch c. noon but RA had asked if we could go c. 1:15; Cailin said she takes a class at the gym that ends at 1.  When RA came back, she said, "I'm sorry; I know you usually go to lunch around 11:30."  I assured her I was not ready to chew her hand off or anything.)

We left for lunch close to 1:30.  Came back about 3.  Rock on.  (Yes, we went to Bertucci's; yes I got the dessert I'd wanted last time.)  We discussed continuing ed (which will get its own post) and she told some of her travel stories.

I came back and saw UnitHead (who had said he would be back Monday and Tuesday but whom I had not yet seen).  "Have you seen my office?"  He was almost literally bouncing.  Apparently he had come in over the weekend and organized it.  It was actually in pretty good shape beforehand.    More reasons why I love him :)  [Though as was pointed out to me in an FA discussion about reimbursement forms, Prof.B. is now the UnitHead -- it being after July 1.  I could call him Prof.G. but I think I'll go with FormerUnitHead for the continuity.]

I love that Terry called me 3 times (1:34, 1:25, 2:28).  At least he left a voicemail the third time.  (I'd called him last night and left him a voicemail.)  So I called him back on my walk home.  And he is the same as ever.  Which pleases me.  And apparently was in Boston yesterday and drove right by the B-School.

Cat's post-CSIfinale squee messages seem to have gotten deleted from my phone (I've been resaving them every few weeks).  Sadness :(

My mom's birthday card for me arrived today.
Front: "I'd like to give you a big hug on your birthday..." said Pooh.
Inside: "...but you are there, and my arms are here."
And it has a pop-up of Pooh with arms outstretched.  This is totally going up on my desk at work.
I'm really enjoying this extended-birthday thing.

My dad e-mailed:
Subject: Oh brave new world, that there are such people in it.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/medicine/story/0,,1817639,00.html
[World's first "test tube baby" is pregnant.]

Ari, FYI: the tenant - G - gen - hp/matilda crossover - 1577 words

Anyone understand futon mattresses?  Like, how to work out the measurements?  My futon [i.e., the wooden frame that got left in my room by the previous tenant] folds in three and the long side is ~51 wide and each of the three sections are ~22 on the other side.

P.S. Via wisdomeagle: Go here to make the navbar go away.  [There are different tickyboxes for making it display when you're viewing stuff and for making it display when people are viewing you.  Personally, I think you shouldn't be able to force people to see it when on your pages; if people want it they can enable it themselves.]  Edit: And here's a script to get rid of it for all journals you view.

Every time i go in to the city, i spend about $10 on transport alone. [Edit for clarity: Despite this being an entry about my trip to NYC, Botson will always be "the city" to my mind.] I get so much solid reading time in, though, that i begin to think it’s almost worth it. Too much reading on a bus apparently makes me sick, though. Or at least it did on Saturday. Blessedly we were only about twenty minutes from Port Authority.

I didn’t read the whole time, though. The movie they showed was Message in a Bottle which actually turned out to be a good movie -- a rarity for Peter Pan bus rides. The readings of the letters at the beginning made me cry. As did various sections of the movie, actually. Been a theme recently. A musesfool fic made me cry that morning -- second time in about a week i’d had that reaction to one of her fics. Plus the Samaria books kept making me cry. Yup, am big sap. [I really like the Sinead Lohan song “I Am No Mermaid,” also. Anyone happen to have it on mp3?]

I got to Kate’s parents’ loft no problem, and the heavens opened up just as i arrived (clearing up hours later in time for me to go out to dinner).

I had changed out of what i was wearing and into my “Everybody loves a cunning linguist” t-shirt and was grateful to be able to use the washer/dryer at the loft.

Kate's sister [QM] and other people i hadn’t previously met came over later, and we watched a couple episodes of Coupling (“Unflushed” -- 1.01 -- and “The Girl With Two Breasts” -- 1.05). I was a fan.

Sharon and i went to dinner at Klong, this little Asian place on St. Mark’s (between 2nd and 3rd). I brought my leftovers back to the loft to put ‘em in the fridge and changed back into what i had been wearing previously and then we headed out to the bar. I’d considered leaving my t-shirt on (And QM, who had previously commented positively on my shirt, was indeed sad that i had changed out of it.), but i felt more comfortable wearing something that people wouldn’t be constantly reading. Though it would have been a conversation piece, which probably would have lessened the amount of time i spent hanging around silently.

I was dismayed to discover that we only got discounts on draft beers (odd seeing everyone drinking beer on the heels of my conversation with Allie about how few people our age, women especially, really like beer) and 2 kinds of shots. But because it was actually my birthday, QM bought a round of Tutti Fruti shots for her, me, and Kate. The best part was that she then told me i could put whatever i ordered on her tab. I had a melon ball and ordered an orgasm but they didn’t have any fresh cream, so i got a white russian instead and learned that while the faux white russians i had with Nao&Liz were palatable, real white russians taste far too much like coffee for my taste. That was in the space of about two hours, and i was beginning to feel dizzy. QM had said something earlier about a goal of the night being to get me drunk, so i asked if dizzy was drunk enough, and she said yes.

Jill remembered me from the last time i’d visited NYC, which impressed me, and otherwise i’d previously met nobody else at the party, though a good few i had at least heard of.

Everyone seemed nice, and i remembered a good number of people’s names since i met them in stages and actually had conversation with a lot of them (or watched them having conversation with other people) so their differentiated identities stuck better. There were a few times i considered leaving, but i’m glad i stayed the whole time ‘cause smaller groups of people are so much more my style.

Loud bar music bugs me ‘cause it’s like, Conversation, what? Though lots of people turn into less than scintillating conversationalists when they’re drunk. Some of the songs that got played i’d heard a ton of times at bartender training, so i had this serious Pavlovian reaction to wanna get up and start mixing drinks behind the bar.

All the people going outside to smoke reminded me of being in high school and going out to Perks at night.

Boris [who is of the sort of people i have no tolerance for] quickly decided i was “one of those people” (i was being minimally responsive to him) which amused me.

Near the end of the evening, i mentioned to Miranda that i was surprised we hadn’t killed each other. Though admittedly there had hardly been any political conversations all evening. When she walked me home she said we had to friend each other on LJ, and i’m not sure how much of that was the drunkenness talking, but since i’d spent much of the night thinking, “I could totally like you, except dude, politics” it was nice to hear.

Kate’s parents have this terrific flat couch that’s long enough for me to comfortably lie down on. I was thrilled. (I am so easy to please when it comes to sleeping arrangements.)

QM and her boy came over the next morning and we ordered breakfast from a Polish diner and watched “Serenity” (the Firefly pilot). We talked about the two different pilots and i said something and QM said she felt like she needed to leave the room (i think she felt outgeeked or something). “Elizabeth’s a Whedonverse geek. Why do you think we’re friends?” Kate said. So true.

In the interest of not getting sick, i slept for most of the bus ride home. Though i did finish the Samaria books (see entry below). Now i get to start rereading the HP books. It goes without saying that even though i’m not deeply interested/invested in the ‘verse, if you spoil me for anything in Book6 i’ll kill you, right? I mean, who posts plot spoilers for anything outside cut-tags, right?

I came home to 3 happy birthday wishes via facebook, and my mom had made me a birthday cake.

Really need to go to the glasses place tomorrow and pick out new frames.