hermionesviolin: (big girl world)
I've gotta say, i really appreciate the validation of my post-graduation plans.  I get all stubborn independent "my life, therefore my opinion wins," but it's still comforting and strengthening to be affirmed, to have other people agree with me.  And Gillian and Briana both say i'll be the best date ever ;)

So anyway, Commencement Weekend.

Rehearsal Friday morning was lame.  It did give me a better idea of how the ceremony was gonna go, and Meg and i got to feel cool 'cause we know what "speech act" is [and it sounds so much like a marriage pronouncement, too -- "by the power vested in the Board of Trustees and delegated..."], and i enjoyed the projector images even though they were hard to see, but it wasn't tremendously helpful, and oh the stupid questions people asked.  There were i think 2 valid questions -- neither of which the woman was able to answer well (how early will the ITT be open if graduation is inside, and how are we supposed to do our graduation hoods).  Liked the German guy running things, though.  Afterward, we took the class picture on a steep grassy knoll, which was ever so much fun.  Lunch was good.  Danne gave me a rose.  I got a graduation card from a couple at First Churches whose faces i can't even think of to match with their names.

My parents arrived Friday evening and we went to see Six Characters in Search of an Author.  Well-acted.  Unsure how i feel about the play itself.  Interesting ideas about how no one else can really be you.  But characters in a play aren't actually existant persons, they're characters created to be performed by other people.  (As opposed to characters in books, who were created to exist within their own world and not to be embodied by other people.)  The immutable is more real?  Yes reality is always changing (as they say) but does that make the past an "illusion"?  Is saying "No, it's memory; that's different" a cop-out?

Ivy Day was Saturday morning.  Side-zipping dresses are a bitch, and i owe Poorn much love.  It was actually pretty.  (They should have told us the reason to arrive 45 minutes early was so that everyone could take pictures of us.  Have i mentioned how the Commencement/IvyDay rehearsal didn't actually include anything about Ivy Day?)  After all the processions, though, when we sat down and listened to people talk, i was cold and bored.  [When i said i wanted winter back, i didn't mean when i was sitting outside in a sleeveless dress.]  Reminiscent of Class Day.  The box lunch following was yum, and i first went home to change into real clothes, so sitting outside and eating was nice.

We went to SCMA next, and i abandoned my family partway through for the departmental reception to search for Jessie.  I hung out with Meredith, and Joan (whom i don't see enough), and saw Mary Barbara [Sherborn lady], and finally found Jessie.  Also Skarda -- who was giving out department pins for regalia, which apparently they've been getting rid of for at least 2 years.  I rather liked them, though i actually forgot to attach to my robe come Sunday.  After my family finished with SCMA, they went to Lyman and then found me.  They got a rather full Skarda experience.

Skarda suggested i write about massage in literature -- seedy and all.  I said it would be like my seminar paper -- fun to research but not so much to write.  She said she doesn't think of her massager as the brightest bulb.  And it's hard to get employ as the market is glutted -- but then, she pays one.

Skarda said only about 300 people (recent stat, probably from Atlantic Monthly) support themselves from their writing.  My father suspects this doesn't include, say, journalists.  He says i seem very comfortable with words -- very comfortable in front of a keyboard, using words.  So true.

Skarda told Joan's mom that she could always count on us to say smart things in Telling and Retelling.  Joan didn't remember speaking much at all in that class, and i'm inclined to agree (though i know i talked a lot) but whatever.  Reminded me a touch of Liz Carr's effusiveness, which was amusing.

Saw Prof. Kaminksy, who asked about my post-graduation plans.  I told him bartending and massage school.  "See, that's that look i was talking about."  No, actually, he was thinking about all that practice you have to do, and would i be local.  And he managed to not make it sound skeezy.  I mean, i know him, so i know it's not skeezy, but it's so the kind of thing that would have come out skeezy if i'd said it, so i was impressed.

We had dinner at Fresh Pasta, which was yum as usual.  And because our reservations were for 5pm we beat the dinner rush.

There was time to kill before Illumination Night, so i picked up my Zaleski final, since i'd been forgetting to that for days. Expandcut for professorial commentage )

When i was finally hungry again we went to Burdick and i got a $4 hot chocolate.  Not the sex-in-a-cup i was recalling from Winter Weekend, but still good.

Illumination was one of the few graduation exercises i was kind of excited about, and it disappointed.  The lanterns looked like balloons (pink, yellow, yellow-green, blue) though they were less bad when one was close-up (they had shrubbery designs on them) or when they were illuminated.  The Senior Candle Lighting was kinda lame -- we all got white candles and the class president lit them and then it was like "okay, yay you, you can go wander the illuminated paths now."  I was expecting some sort of procession -- since that seems to be a theme this weekend, and a procession of people holding candles would be cool.

Sunday was Pentecost.  I did the Scripture Reading (Acts 2:1-21 and 1 Corinthians 12:4-13) and was also asked to do the Call to Worship, which i willingly did, though i'm not sure how i feel about it.  ExpandRead it if you're interested. )  (Googling, it's apparently a poem by R.S. Thomas -- a 20th-century Welsh poet.)

Apparently Pentecost is considered the birth of the church, so they did confirmation this Sunday.  In... South America i think Tessa said it was... they pour flame colored rose petals over heads as symbolic of the flames of the Pentecost story, so she had the little kids do that to the confirmands.

Peter's sermon was called "In Our Own Native Language," and he talked about the confirmation class kids' statements of faith and how we each have our own frames of reference and things that are particularly important to us and so on, so when we talk about our faith it's like we have our own individual language, but people are still able to understand us, and it is due to the Holy Spirit that we are able to bridge some of the more difficult gaps.  I was a little confuzzled because my interpretation of the Acts account was that the disciples -- who were all from approximately the same linguistic region -- spoke and all those gathered (who came from a multitude of linguistic regions) heard their words in their own native tongues, not that the disciples all spoke in their own native tongues and everyone present was somehow able to understand them.

During her statement of faith, Isabelle used the phrase "war-torn," and i want people to understand why God sometimes demands -- or is interpreted as demanding -- violence or other things that we perceive as not good.  I had a moment of intense contra-left-ness and wished for God to be full of wrath and vengeance and pro-killing-people.  More sanely, i want people to realize that it is not true that the Bible fully supports what they value and that they're opponents are just wrong and misinterpreting; i want them to realize that it is complicated.  (Gee, look at how that is always my desire.)

Back when Peter first asked i wanted to be involved in a graduation service, my mom suggested that i ask for "Here I Am, Lord" to be included.  I didn't, since there wasn't really an opening to do so.  However.  What was the closing hymn?  "I Danced in the Morning"  I learned that i don't dislike the tune -- though it doesn't feel quite right -- and it's so not as obnoxious as it sounds when F. sings it ;)

I got so many congratulations after the service.  MJ gave me a card with a Starbucks gift card -- because i so frequently do tea duty and she comes over and chats with my while she drinks her coffee.

They were having a luncheon thing, so we went back to campus for brunch.  My brother said that people should just pay off portions of his student loans instead of giving him physical gifts.  (He's gonna graduate RPI with way more loans than i have from Smith).  I like that idea :)  (2 graduation cards arrived for me on Saturday -- both containing checks :) )

Like Ivy Day, Graduation seemed to require arriving 45 minutes early in large part for the photo ops.  I was rather indifferent.  I did actually get excited when we started to process, though, feeling all official and proud, and the happy face.  I saw a whole lot of people i knew on the sidelines and had a good view of the faculty procession.  It was a bit chilly, but i had jeans and other appropriate clothes on under my robe, so i didn't mind much.  And the college had thoughtfully provided us with bottled water underneath our seats.

There were a few drops of rain at the beginning of the procession, but otherwise it was completely fine.  And i actually liked both speeches -- Lauren Wolfe (to whose election as my class president [insert "She's not my president" joke here] my near immediate reaction was dread of Commencement) and Shelly Lazarus -- and approved of the honorary degrees.  Lazarus, class of 1968, talked about expectations and about what things were like when she graduated.  She said the question now isn't whether you can have at all but whether you want it all.  She talked about a Manhattan waitress who loves her job, saying, "Don't judge!" [Edit: link to full speech]

The whole thing only took about two hours.  A half hour of procession, a half hour of speeches, 45 minutes graduating us, plus about 10 minutes for the masters candidates, and then we were done.  Except for the Diploma Circle.  It sounds like a neat tradition in theory, but we had like the most ineffective diploma circle evar.  You're supposed to pass diplomas in concentric circles, passing the diplomas you've already seen into new circles, but we just ended up passing the same diplomas, and sometimes we had stacks of them and sometimes our hands were empty, so we finally just made one big circle -- which feels to me like how it should work anyway -- and i got mine relatively quickly at that point.  Immediately post-Graduation is an impossible time to see people, and i was impressed by the speed at which i connected with my family, but i was lucky enough to see Layna at the CC (where i used up my remaining OneCard money on more drinks). And hopefully now that we're residing in the same vicinity i'll get to see more of her.

Summation of the weekend: Having events structured as meaningful moments, like, "You're going to do this, and it's going to be meaningful for you," is weird. [Edit: Last week, Stacey said something about me being a control-freak and i said i didn't usually use that phrase, though i definitely use a number of similar phrases/adjectives for myself, but the phrase kept recurring in my head this weekend, since i know i really like to be able to control what i'm doing and i was realizing that that was probably the reason behind a lot of my ragifying moments this weekend. The fact that i didn't know in advance exactly how things were gonna function, trying unsuccessfully to find people, etc. -- all that is the kind of stuff that drives me up a wall.]

P.S. My brother says he's been pleasantly surprised by senior ceremonies (his and mine) and we had similar thoughts about what was good and what wasn't. He was a good sport about being dragged around all weekend, regardless.

I have Palmer orientation this Thursday.  In the mail on Monday i got my Student ID.  Look, i'm officially a student again :)  I really do need to get myself an actual job.  And, um, bugger.  I didn't actually coordinate the transportation before registering for a Palmer class, so i didn't think about the fact that i'm dependent upon two commuter rails plus a subway and 10pm is perilously close to when commuter rails stop running in Boston.  So yeah, don't actually have a way home.  Ditto Sunday service for the first day of my bartending class.  Why do i suck?  My mom can drive me in to class on Memorial Day morning, though, so that's not a big deal.  Any volunteers to drive me home from North or South Station in the vicinity of midnight every Tuesday night?  Floors to crash on also appreciated.

I also need to get myself a real job.  Having class at Salem at 6pm makes this whole office job thing difficult, though.  Grr.  See above re: thinking ahead and "I suck."



I read "Homestead" by inlovewithnight.  A good solid story that reads like an episode of the show [Firefly].  The voice reminds me of the show i love so much and brings tears to my eyes.

[livejournal.com profile] marauderthesn asked for suggestions of "gay movies that are watchable with parents."  I am so a bad person to ask.  I mean, i watched Claire of the Moon with my mom.  (Horrible movie, btw.)  My favorite moment, though, was watching Jeffrey and the phone ringing and hitting pause right on the "sex" frame.

[livejournal.com profile] penknife says: "Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe trailer: looks very pretty, but who knows about the acting and the script. Good or not, will clearly be next year's shiny new fandom. I fear the badfic."  All this Narnia movie talk is bringing out my seething loathing of adapting books into movies (Really need to write up that manifesto i do.) but the idea of more Narnia fic is appealing -- but then again, the fic i have loved has dealt with one of the things i hate about The Last Battle, and i don't tend to remember the minor characters in non-LWW books well enough to feel right reading fanfic about them, and i'm not sure how much good fanfic could be created with only the knowledge of LWW -- though White Witch backstory could be really interesting, either as post-MN for those who know it (which reminds me that i want more Illyria fic, also ancient!Dawn, and should check out History Lesson) or as AU for those writing only with knowledge of LWW, and the theology geek in me would be really interested in seeing any of the LWW characters post-LWW back in their own world.

I finally got a feedback on "Osiris Serenity" over on Blood Sings.  Brought tears to my eyes.  Interestingly, rereading the fic, i am less satisfied with it than i used to be.
hermionesviolin: (big girl world)
Dear Lamonsters: Emma's been in a non-Internet mood, but she did reply to my e-mail and said "Miss you all, tell everyone I say hi."

When i tell people my post-graduation plans are bartending and massage schools, i get a lot of surprised reactions, and the kind of sorrowful "That's what you're doing with your degree from Smith?"  But really, while academia has cache, bartending and massage school have actual employable skills.  So instead of putting myself further into debt, qualified for a competitive niche market and perhaps overqualified for other things, and otherwise no different than i am now in terms of employability -- instead of all that, i'm gonna have actual skills i can use towards jobs i'm likely to actually get.  But graduates of prestigious colleges and universities are supposed to do the high-powered, or at least brainy, careers.  Le sigh.  I'm excited about what i'm trying to do, and in the end that's what really matters since it is my life.

So yeah.  I registered for bartender training -- DrinkMaster Boston because the location is uber-convenient, doing the one week (M-F 11am-3pm) program the week of May 30 -- and massage school -- Palmer Institute, summer session starts May 23, Massage I (foundational course) Tuesday 6-10pm for 12 weeks [May 24 - August 9].

Kind of scared 'cause, meep, so much less money in my bank account.  But i mean, i paid in full 'cause i could.  'S not like i'm poor now.

I did my Direct Loan Exit Counseling.  Using the rough numbers Smith had given me, i was guessing paying off all of it in six and a half years.  The Standard Repayment Plan is 10 years however, and results in my paying back approximately 113%.  Who's gonna be overpaying her payments like whoa?  Yeah, me.

The heat on Tuesday made me feel lethargic.  Yes i like it being warm enough to walk around outside in short-sleeves, but i'm so not a fan of the humidity.  Hot and humid makes me crave my winter.

I checked my mail on Wednesday and among other things, i had my Skarda exam.  "Choose one of the following questions for an essay that contains as much precision and specificity of detail and idea as did the texts we considered this semester."  We had topics in advance, and i knew i was gonna do the "What difference (if any) does the gender of the author make on women characters' place in society, function in the household, narrative perspective, or plot of the story?  Be specific"  question.  I did like no preparation, though, so my essay was full of generalizations and i had visions of "What part of 'Be specific' don't you understand?  15 points out of 30; I expected better from you."  However, i only lost one point and got "I'm pleased to see that you haven't been blinded by feminism, Elizabeth."  Oh Skarda.  I knew i'd aced the rest of the exam, though, and i only lost a few points.  Amusing given that i'd written my final long paper on The Eyre Affair, i mistakenly identified a passage from it as being from the original Jane Eyre :)  "Fine exam, Elizabeth.  Stay in touch.  You've been a great pleasure to have in class even though you'll never find Wordsworth worthy.  Happy Graduation to you."

My dad came that evening and took stuff back.  He also briefed me various NHS alums [kids whom i still think of as upperclassmen].  NHS is doing Hamlet and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead on alternating nights.  I approve.

Wednesday night: Went to Herrell's 'cause i wanted ice cream.  Saw Gillian on the way back.  Went with her to get caffeine.  Went back to her Friedman.  Hung with people.  Channel surfing 'cause some of us couldn't take any more of Good Eats, we stop at something and i say, "Is that Gina Gershon?" thinking, "And the horrible thing is, i only recognize her because of Showgirls."  What are we watching?  Showgirls of course.  On VH1 of all channels.  They start cleaning house and i go home.  P00rn wants me to drink with her some time before we graduate, so i go over to Chase with her to drink with [livejournal.com profile] aleksie.  I had 12-year-old Glenlivet (high quality Scotch i'm told) with Pepsi.  Definitely buzzed, and i didn't even drink it that fast ('cause, fucking strong).  3am-ish i left.  Came home and drank water.  In bed closer to 4.  Up at 8:30 'cause my body's crazy.  So i had breakfast for the first time in ages, which meant i wasn't hungry for lunch (and dude, it was fries and vegan nuggets, sadness).  Had the long-promised pool game with Stacey.  We played two rounds, though, so i have to come back for a tiebreaker at some point.

Skipped Baccalaureate.  I hear it was lovely and all, but since i so don't feel attached to most of my class, structured reminscence time seemed awkward.  Went to the senior bbq on Davis Lawn, though.  One booze per person.  Had a Smirnoff Twisted and then half of a friend's.  Crashed afterward, in part because i'd gotten so little sleep the night before.  Think it's gonna be an early to bed night.  Have to be up at a reasonable hour tomorrow morning for Commencement/IvyDay rehearsal.  Things are really nearing the end.  Kinda scary.  Finally really hitting me in the gut.

I was feeling a touch disappointed with the end of "Natural Born" (No Limits 13) but then i read "Crucible" (14) and things were good again -- in the sense of well-written and coherent, not happy of course.

In response to what was for me a rather short piece of feedback (i feedback like i LJ) on a different piece of fic i received the response "Thank you very, very much for your detailed and insightful feedback!"  Given how much (lengthy, detailed) feedback i've sent these past few months and heard no reply from, i think i was owed some karma.

Over on Blood Sings, my Hansel&Gretel fic has more than twice as many reads than my Simon/River, and there is still little love for Julia/Justine (though it is slowly accumulating reads).

Should Playboy thank MutantEnemy?  (And what's up with June?)  I bought Charisma issue last year and, um, might need to buy June.  [Bai Ling]  Okay, the uber exoticization is a problem (as [livejournal.com profile] viciouswishes points out) but still, hot.  She was in The Crow?  Clearly i need to rewatch.  And i played around and made icons from the photoshoot.
hermionesviolin: black and white photo of Emma Watson as Hermione, with text "hermionesviolin" (hermione by oatmilk)
I have spent so much time with Fefe, Kate, and Laura; also with Liz and Nao.  Notice how none of those are '05-ers?  Though there are some seniors i'd like to see before we graduate.

I went to the concert in JMG on Monday.  Smith College Chorus and Glee Club did Ave Maria, then they left and U of M Men's Glee Club came on. They started right off with "Laudes Atque Carmina," which apparently they always start with.  Michiganensium?  I totally validate every Smithie who's ever said they miss male singing voices, though.  Mmm.  The conductor reminded me of Mr. Ambrose -- the energy, and the fun.  Oh the William Tell Overture.  (We did that at Pops once.)  It reminded me of a cappella -- making instrumental music into vocalizations.  They did a variety of types of pieces and finished with Moses Hogan's "Witness."  Did Ms. Moen ever do that song?  It sounds like the kind of thing she would have done, but i couldn't tell if it was familiar enough to actually have been.  (Googling, it looks like it might be an arrangement of a spiritual, which would explain why the words but not the tune sounded familiar, if Ms. Moen did a different arrangement.)

After an intermission they all together with the SC Orchestra did Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 in D minor, op. 125.  I decided i'm not a particular fan of the symphony, but the performance was good.  Jonathan looked so angry during the angry parts, like he was gonna lunge at the violins.  (Was it Holland or Ambrose who said if he passed out during a performance -- i think this was during MICCA season -- to just keep playing?)

That night i had the first alcohol i've had in a while that i didn't fetch myself (not counting the dept. party).

And today i wasn't a complete bum.  Look, plans for life after college.

Palmer Insititute of Massage & Bodywork looks promising.  A touch hippie-dippie, but Polarity Energy Balancing looks reasonably legit, and on the whole the required course program looks reasonable and balanced.  Plus, i appreciate that you're required to take a Business Mastery course.

For bartending, should i do Boston Bartenders School of America or DrinkMaster Bartending School of Boston?

I am so behind on fannish meta and linkage, so here's a brief summation of recent highlights.
(1) I totally need to read Anne Rice's Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt when it comes out.
(2) [livejournal.com profile] alittlewhisper has a quality rant about the penis in fanfic.
(3) new: Blood Sings: Multifandom High-Quality Incest Fanfiction AutoArchive [[livejournal.com profile] _elektra says no explicit underage -- i.e., under 16 -- sex.]
hermionesviolin: (pensive)
Last meeting of Skarda's class was a house party per usual.  I kept feeling like there should be alcohol because last time i was there was the Christmas party at the end of Romantics class.  And then lo there was orange grapefruit compote with triple sec.  Which of course i didn't eat, 'cause hello grapefruit, but still.

On Monday i told Kate the Bluebeard story because she had never heard it (and it's my seminar reading for this week) and realized just how much i have totally adopted her gestures and inflections for storytelling.  Then i actually read the Perrault story, and found it so caricatured.  NMB actually finds the Grimms' "Fitcher's Bird" a more poorly put together story.

The last time i read Angela Carter's "The Bloody Chamber" i was really into the heroine's sexual development, her awakening to the pleasures of S&M, and i was much less convinced this time around, which might mean that i was in a particular headspace last time and this time around am more aware of the fact that Carter didn't intend that (after all, the piano-tuner seems pretty vanilla) but given how much Carter uses the theme of awakening the dark primal bestial sexuality beneath the surface, and uses it as a positive thing, it seems to me a potentially valid reading of the text.  I want fanfic in which Bluebeard isn't a murderer and in which they negotiate a really hot kinky sexlife.  Alternatively, kinky post-canon fic.

Candi's doing her final paper on folklore motifs in Tori Amos songs, focusing on sex and violence.

It was sinking in on my way home from class that the class-taking phase of my undergraduate career is now over forever.

Poll inspired by a real-life story from a friend:
So, you're on a date with a guy.  Somehow it comes up in conversation that he would like to make a porn film, "But not the cheesy hardcore kind. Something classier - geared to women and couples."
[Poll #484240][And for those of whom your immediate reaction is, "I'm on a date with a guy? wtf?" just play along.]

And from a completely different context, [livejournal.com profile] phineasjones says, "i can't believe anyone out there is like, 'i have breasts, so i already have all the breast experience i need.' i mean, come on! there is so much variety to be explored!"

Fortune cookie: "Don't be hasty, prosperity will knock on your door soon."
If this soon-to-be-graduate believed on fortune cookies, this would be quite comforting.  (Though what's up with the implication that i'm being hasty?)  Extra fun if one adds on the requisite "in bed"  :)
And speaking of jobs for graduates, my father sent me this, which excerpts from a piece in The Christian Science Monitor that says the job market is improving for this year's college graduates.  ("The expected salary range for bachelor's degrees in liberal arts today: $29,400 to $35,000, according to CollegeJournal.com."  Hotness.)

House meeting re: house closing procedures didn't actually inform us of what to do if one actually has damaged furniture.  ecox asked how the college notifies/bills you, and Patricia didn't know.  I had thought there was a sheet we got at the end of the year whereon you can mark any damage in your room, but maybe i'm conflating that with the sheet you get when you first move in.

My Inklings paper is so much academic bullshit in the vein of my Eyre Affair paper.  In a novel which i whine about being full of stock characters, i ended up arguing for subtlty and complexity of characterization.  Huh.  I still need to do my reading journal, but that's even easier than the paper and can be turned in next week.  I am so excited to finally be able to work on my seminar paper in earnest.  I thought i had read nearly all the modern English language LRRH variants in existence, but i just read an article in a 1982 issue of International Folklore Review which contains the following paragraph: "It should be noted that these three obscene versions did not appear in pornographic magazines but were printed in The Smith, a perfectly serious American literary publication.  There are, of course, sexual illustrations of Little Red Riding Hood along this line in hard-core sex magazines which are unsuitable for reproduction here, but it cannot be denied that sexual interpretations of fairy stories in all degrees from refinement to crudity have become a popular form of entertainment among adults."  They do reproduce a 1974 Playboy cartoon and a 1978 Punch one, though.  And the footnote to that paragraph might get used in my paper (whose topic is LRRH as a willing sexual participant): "An advertisement for sexual stimulators showed a picture of Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf with a variety of such devices and the caption 'The better to please you with, my dear.' Hustler, April 1978, 20."

I learned that Jane St. Clair wrote Voyager fic, including TNG crossover.  I, of course, refuse to read Voyager fic until i've watched all 7 seasons through.  I told Emma about the argument Cat and i had about TNG Q!sex given the Voyager canon, and she pointed out that if Q+human can have sex the Q way, shouldn't they also be able to the human way? ::hearts her::  I really need to rewatch that episode (preferably as part of a full canon tour, though).

Am considering hitting up the MFA Dance Concert on Friday and then leaving early to go to the One-Acts.  (The lack of Christopher Durang in the latter makes me sad.  But it's in the TV Studio rather than HF, which makes me think it's a different set of one-acts than usual.)

[livejournal.com profile] atpolittlebit points out a quote from "Life of the Party" (Angel 5.05) that could be seen to refer to Firefly.

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hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (Default)
Elizabeth (the delinquent, ecumenical)

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