burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

That's what i thought, jokingly, last night as i feel asleep to the (intense thunder and lightning) storm last night.

Today i had 2 staffing firm interviews, and the first one said "executive assistants" on their sign, and i thought, "eek, i so don't belong here," but the lady was civil and refreshingly blunt.  She said she could totally see me in an academic setting, that i didn't wanna settle for recep/admin and that that's what it would be -- settling.  Which is, i suspect, rather true.  I mean, i shouldn't be surprised that i can't escape this.

And here would be discussion of that, except...

I later played phone tag with scheduling a second interview for a position i hadn't expected to get.  It's recep/admin, and i really appreciated the staffing firm lady being all "don't give up on your dreams," but dude, paycheck.  Of course i immediately began mentally planning my next few months as if i got this job.  Anyway, i still haven't even got the interview scheduled yet nevermind got the job, but getting called back for a second interview is new and exciting.  And if it falls through, i have a lengthy to-do list as a fallback plan.

I spent much of the day wandering around the Post Office Square area on intuition, which yielded better results than someone who's heard me talk about my horrid sense of direction would expect, which was comforting.

I tested out at massage class today.  I show up next week to get worked on, but the only work i myself have left to do to complete credit for this course is to do about 20 practice hours.  Which is frustratingly difficult to manage.  Le sigh.

I did a super-fast skim of the flist and am going to bed once i reply to comments. Will actually read and comment on day's flist hopefully tomorrow morning.

[also: omg, e-mailed friend from h.s. recently and got a reply back full of update on NHS'01 kids which was awesome, but um, married with kids?  *boggles* not the friend in question, but two other people we went to school with.]

Having to write a paper on Friday when i'm used to having Friday as an off day?  Totally messed up my conception of time.  I kept feeling like i should one more free day left.

I missed Biz and Cordelia preaching at HHHC Senior Sunday because i'd been asked to usher at First Churches.  My name was spelled correctly in the program, which was probably my biggest excitement about the whole thing.  Turned out it was Youth Sunday.  This kid Nick who looks about middle school age played "Gigue" from Sonata in D minor by Veracini, and he's not a prodigy, but he was really good -- certainly better than i ever was, though that's not saying a whole lot.  This girl Chelsea who's a freshman at NorthamptonHigh (to write NHS would just be too weird for me) did the sermon, and you could tell she was nervous 'cause she was talking fast and stumbling over what she was saying sometimes, but she was pretty good.  And Sasha not only did a handdrums piece but he also did a piece he wrote himself with guitar, singing (though i couldn't make out a lot of the words), and harmonica, that last of which means he wins at life.

Kelly got installed at Chicopee at 2pm, but obviusly i couldn't go.  I meant to ask Liza for her e-mail address.

I finished a whole set of website edits (which won't go live until Sunday) and as well as my MAT project.  (Why am i not motovated until it's like T minus 24 hours to deadline?)  It's a very traditional unit with reading quizzes and an exam including passage identification and all that, and i feel like i got lazy, but i'm a kind of an off-the-cuff type of girl, so my discussion outlines are only going to be so comprehensive.  And i'm honestly torn between feeling like i don't cover enough and feeling like i try to cover too much, since i'm still in Smith College English major mode rather than high school English class mode.  I think it's a reasonably comprehensive (for high school) unit though, and also flexible.

I didn't reread Charles Williams for Inklings class 'cause of sleep dep (the first time i did the reading i was sleep deprived and retained little, so i figured repeating that wouldn't help anything) but it turned out okay because she broke us up into groups in class and my group (highonsleepdepZia, SullenEmily, and some other girl) got the one about the Inklings phenomenon, which CZ hadn't intended initially, but when she realized it was us she made some crack about how we'd be good at it or know a lot or be argumentative or something. Anyway i remember thinking "Way to go having a rep," 'cause it's so true.

I think i might finally be under enough deadline pressure to actually make myself do all this work.

I went to the second batch of Eng. Dept. thesis presentations.  Turns out i actually know the Auden girl insomuch as i've had classes with her.  Was weird listening to the Space Trilogy presentation 'cause hello something i've acatually read (2/3 of).  And i had forgotten how brilliant J is.  And to my surprise, i found myself actually wanting to read her book.

In Renaissance Drama, Emma's reading John Ford's " 'Tis Pity She's a Whore" and told me i need to read it.  In fact i already have, so all is right with the world.  I read Angela Carter's retelling first, and frequently blame it for my incest kink.
I boggle that i'm the one of all my friends (by which i mean: the cohort i surround myself with here at Smith) who is nigh on unsquickable, has no TMI threshhold, etc.  Emma expressed surprise that i think of this as some sort of new development.  I think partly i still think of myself as being around people like Mimi and Allison.  And more generally being around people who are so much more sexually experienced (and interested in being sexually experienced) than i.  And the internalization of people's perceptions of me (the first time Mimi heard me swear -- back in high school -- she literally stopped in her tracks and made me repeat it because she couldn't believe it had come out of my mouth).

---

club_joss: book club-esque discussion of fanfiction.  Looks interesting.  It just started, and the current fic is a Spike/Xander, so i'm abstaining for now but am friending it to keep an eye on it.  (Speaking of which, i really should catch up on ats_nolimits at some point.)

I also added su_herald and meta_fandom to my flist, which i probably should have done a while ago (though there is the whole distraction=bad factor).  This is a really interesting personal essay on the power dynamics involved in rl sex, seguing into a discussion about writing chan, and then seguing back to rl.

Serenity trailer comes out on Tuesday, probably before the Hitchhiker movie.  I was so willing to go see Elektra over break to see the trailer, but i am not seeing HGttG and not going to the movies the last week of classes, and being spoiler-free is how i prefer to operate anyhow.  (Yes i know September 30 is a long way away.  But y'all are good at cut-tagging.)

From the zinesters list:

Are you still saddened by the demise of the teen magazine Sassy?? Do you have trouble understanding what all the hubbub about Sassy was about?? Have you ever ranted or raved about Sassy in a zine??

Kara Jesella and Marisa Meltzer are currently working on a book about Sassy, to be published by Simon, Farrar & Giroux, and are looking for articles about Sassy (positive, negative, whatever).

If you have printed, written, or read any such articles about Sassy in a zine (even if the focus of the piece is not Sassy itself), please contact Rebecca at rebecca.willa.davis@gmail.com.

I think i left some of my posters at home, ‘cause going through the ones i have here i know i own some other ones.  These are the ones i have in my room currently (that are free for the claiming):

• Pooh Bear with pinecones
  
• "Apparition du Visage de l'Aphrodite Cnide dans un Paysage" - Salvador Dali
  
• The snow!Ani poster of her standing on the rock.  (I'm fairly certain i have the other one, plus red hat Ani, at home, so you can put in a request if you'd like either of those, i just make no guarantees.)
  
• The Buffy poster i have on my closet door that looks like this only mine's all in purple tones.

One thing i will never live down is not shaking my class president's hand after getting my high school diploma.  I wasn't purposely snubbing him (i was indifferent to him) it was just that the way stuff was set up, he wasn't directly in my line of vision and i honestly forgot.  Some of the football players were on the periphery of my circles in high school (and then went to UMass Amherst, though i have yet to bump into them), so when they end up in the local paper my father saves them for me, but i had completely forgotten about the existence of this kid until my father e-mailed me the following:
"LB Alfred Fincher of UConn was taken by the Saints in the third round of the NFL Draft [...]  Fincher was the first player ever taken by the Saints out of Connecticut" -from the New Orleans Saints website
and more info from the NFL site
My high school class president will be playing for the NFL next year.  I'm feeling a little weird about my future right now.

So speaking of weird, i heart the Hitchhiker's Guide (book quotes, no movie) icons here.  And there are some good ones here.

Also: son_of_art on akronohten (in a thread here):

your own live journal would lead anyone to believe that you were "Bi", which is (as most people know) a term used by gay men who are still partly in denial. At best, it is the socially "light" label referring to people who still amount to part-time Sodomites.

I think "part-time Sodomite" is the best redonculous phrase i've heard recently.  I may need to adopt it.

So yeah, that deadline pressure i spoke of above.  ::runs away::  More link spam tomorrow.