burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

I was running a bit late this morning, so Joy had already started her shift when I got in (usually she only sees me on my way out).  She asked me my locker preference, and I said no preference.  Kevin (who's there when I get in most every morning) said, "Elizabeth likes it anywhere."  If Kevin and I clicked more like that, I would have said something at least like, "Way to make that sound dirty, Kevin," but I didn't.

***

This morning I actually read a Psalm during breakfast instead of just checking email/LJ.  At work, I also read The Daily Office -- something I hadn't done since like Day 2 or 3 of Lent.

From Psalm 119:

The powerful oppress me without cause,
but my heart stands firm in awe of your word.

On one of my rereads, I had the interpretive thought that even when situations are difficult, we are still to act as God Calls us -- we're not supposed to take the easy way out.

Later, I was thinking about how doing all this church stuff has helped keep me happy recently, but that church etc. isn't just about keeping us from despair or whatever, that it's supposed to push us to doing good in the world (which also reminds me of something of the conversations currently happening around RaceFail2009).

I was listening to Pandora while doing data work, and Catie Curtis' "World Don't Owe Me" came on.  The opening is:

The world don't owe me nothing though I always want it to
The world don't owe me happy, the world don't owe me a love like you
The world don't owe me nothing even though I'm on my knees
Not the things I took for granted
Not the things I thought I got for free

I like the song a lot, and I appreciated the reminder that I take things for granted that I shouldn't necessarily (and again with the inarticulate connections to RaceFail2009).

***

The rink at the Charles wasn't open tonight, so we just went and got tea.  Tealuxe and Burdick both had no available seating, so we went to Dado on Church Street, which I hadn't been to before.  L. commented that it's a different atmosphere, which is true, but later I was thinking that it's like Bloc 11 to Diesel or something -- mainly it's the big glass windows that made me think of this.  (I got Chinese Whiteneedles tea or something like that name -- 'cause it reminded me of the tea I was gonna get last time I was at Tealuxe but they were out of it; I wasn't that taken with it, though partly that was that it was too hot.)

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Five good things about today:
1. This morning, on 4 hours of sleep, I was nearly falling asleep reading blog posts about Scripture, but I have pirateygoodness on StalkerPin and this made me happy-ish.
2. Last night's Thing did not end in badness.
2a. Being trusted with a story.
3. I got to talk to la bff for like 2 hours.  I was glad to get to catch her up on various things, and it was also nice to have the expanse of time to talk about things as they came to mind.
4. I really like CallunaV's sample moodlog sheet.
5. I was telling Ari about how CAUMC-Jess is doing the St. Patrick's Day 5k and how I was like, "I could never do that," and Jess turned it around and said that she couldn't get up early and go to the gym like I do; and as I was telling the story I was remembering that I can't think of what the mile/km conversion is, so I Googled it and 1mi ~ 1.6k and math is hard so then I pulled up a conversation calculator and 5k ~ 3.1mi ... which is about what I do on the treadmill three mornings a week.  Now, a treadmill at Shad with 8 different channels on tv is a very different experience than an actual outdoor run, but I still feel kinda badass.

Three things I did well today:
1. I got up with my alarm, did my requisite morning stuff and went to the ( gym )
2. I did the NEG quality control checks for my sections rather than watching hulu.
3. I remembered to pick up milk on my way home, and then I got myself dinner-y food, and then I got in touch with la bff.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. sleeping in!
2. actually having time to wash dishes (there are a lot of things I really should do with my free day tomorrow, but washing dishes is easy and it will be exciting to no longer feel short on things like bowls and spoons)

Laurel says she likes having people to come home to.  I, in contrast, enjoy not having to deal with anyone.  By mid-afternoon today I was kind of wanting people around, though.  I think in part because I was feeling nostalgic for some bits of this time last year, so being alone wasn't the best thing ever -- though I have sufficient distance or whatever that I wasn't emo or anything, just somewhat nostalgic.

I went outside to bring in the recycling bin and the mail, and it was really quite lovely, but it didn't motivate me to actually put shoes on (I'd gotten dressed, I was just in slippers rather than outdoor-appropriate-footwear) and go anywhere.  As the day progressed, I added items to my grocery list, but I decided that erranding could be for tomorrow.  (I did laundry and dishes, so I wasn't completely unproductive.)

I ate a huge amount of chocolate (I did not consume the entire tray of Ferrero Rocher, but I came close).  I choose to blame this on my period starting.  (And I did consume real food, too.)

Bonus phone call from the bff (ostensibly to make made plans for Wednesday -- which we did accomplish during the conversation -- but also nice just to chat).

***

Yuletide recs (round 1)

[xkcd] The Amazing Adventures of Hat Guy and the Girl Who Stole His Hat
    I don't read this comic regularly enough (though I probably should) to get the in-jokes, but this feels so perfect.

[Calvin and Hobbes] the sandwich story
    Calvin growing up.  So true-feeling.  The subtle hints that Calvin doesn't always notice at the time, and the gut-punch moments when he does.  Also, well-played secondary characters.

[Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead] Metamorphosis
    Wow.  This source text is HARD to fic for, but this feels perfectly in keeping with the source text -- the shifting and the uncertainty and the anachronisms and the philosophizing and the character dynamics.

[Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House series] A Land So Wild and Savage
    I haven't thought much about these books since I read the first couple back when I was a kid, but the tone/feel of this fic feels right.  Spare and evocative, but also very tangible (?).  Charles seeking open land, and balancing that with his obligations to and care for his family.

[Aladdin (movie)] Whole New World
    Okay, THIS is the first Yuletide fic of the year to make me cry.  It's Genie, after the story ends, and it's full of wit and humor and kindness and grief.

[Into the Woods] Stepmotherhood
    This is a lovely look at Cinderella making her way with the people who are left after the story is over.

[Beauty and the Beast (Disney movie)] What Became of Marie La Fleur
    A lovely look at how one of the trio of sisters (the one in the green dress) might change after the end of the movie.  Realistic and hopeful.

***

I kept hopping onto del.icio.us to see what people said about whatever fic I was reading (I am often bad at articulateness and so I crib from other people) and then got distracted browsing people's deliciouses more generally.  This means I found (a recipe for) Nutella Chocolate Chip Cookies [via farfarbetter].

( gym )

***

My mom emailed me:

FW: WBZ-TV & TV38 Morning Update

How NOT to deal with New England winters

---

Man Burns Home Melting Ice With Blowtorch

New Bedford fire officials say a homeowner using a blowtorch to melt ice on his back porch set the home on fire causing up to $30,000 in damage.

***

Rich stopped by during lunch and joked with MaryAlice about Festivus.  I said that at the holiday party I went to last night, someone was like, "So, Solstice, Christmas, Hannukah, what else are we celebrating?" and Nick (?) said, "Christmuhanukwanzukah," and I said, "Festivus," even though I've never seen that Seinfeld episode nor do I even like Seinfeld.  Relating this conversation reminded me that I had meant to look up when Kwanzaa actually is.

***

I went to the OSS holiday party around 5.  Because it had been rescheduled from Friday, turnout was much lower than usual.  I know most of the OSS guys, but it's not like we're friends, and I'm no good with small talk anyway, so I mostly stood around.  I started off with a Parrot Bay (passion fruit & mango) and then had a glass of the punch Rey had put together, which was really tasty but after I finished that in the first hour as well (Rey said, "I see you, drinking that like it's water") I said I was done, " 'cause the more I drink, the more I wanna make out with people."  Ramone goes, "get this lady another drink," which, yes, is funny, but as I said after I finished my second glass of punch (which I nursed for about an hour), "There's nobody here who's gonna make out with me, so..."  I'm not really good with that kind of joking around 'cause I'm often not intuitively good at reading the serious-ness level, and I also often don't find it all that fun to engage if it's not actually serious.

( joy sadhana )

Friday

( gym )

I was talking to my friend Joy (one of the desk workers at the gym) this morning, and she was telling me about how she's going to Iceland in December.  I laughed because about a week and a half ago, jadelennox was like, "I have this incredible urge to go to Iceland for the weekend. Because I could, in theory."  Joy was talking about she found this wicked cheap deal and she's gonna go on a glacier hike and go snorkeling in one of the tectonic fissures and it'll be Northern Lights season, and I was like, "Now I kinda wanna ask [JadeLennox] whether she was kidding."

My brother called me today and we sussed out the remaining details of what he owes me from Italy, so I can has bank transfer and pay OFF my credit card rather than just paying it DOWN.  Yay :)

***

At Singspiration, we did "Sweet By and By" followed by "I'll Fly Away" (they're on facing pages).  Sigh.  "I'll Fly Away" is really catchy, but it always makes me uncomfortable with its vibe of "we are just suffering through this earthly existence until we can get to Heaven."  I can see how stuff like "Just a few more weary days and then" is really comforting if you're actually dying -- and I totally support it in that context.  I mean, I find the idea that there is a better world to come very comforting.  But the hymn feels too much like rejecting this world, which I don't think is how we're called to be.

Other than that, nothing really jumped out at me during the evening as theologically...offensive?  (I feel like that's not quite the word I want.)  I think a lot of it is that I can sort of shift myself into the mentality, to interpret them as, "Well this isn't my personal theology, but I can understand how people get this from the Bible."

Bob MacDonald did a song called "Come Home," which had a really nice line in it -- "Your Father loves you."

Geoffrey Hicks did "This Little Light of Mine," and had us sing along and kept insisting we sing louder.  DonT. kindly shouted :)

At Fellowship afterward, at least two people asked me, "How's your grandmother?" and I would say she was happy but her cognition is crap, and they would totally dismiss the bad stuff.  Meh.  Some of it's probably just the meaningless conversation thing (cf. "How you are you?" / "Fine. You?") but also, no one actually wants to hear bad stuff.

My aunt emailed:

I spoke to Mom today and it turns out that Dad is back. Yup, back to his pre-whateverhappened state. He can get up with very little help from just one person and his mind is fine. He's talking and joking. Who can believe it? I have to be realistic about wondering how long this will last - but what good timing!

***

[Tech.view] Move over, Prius: Dieselesque petrol engines take to the road (Oct 24th 2008, From Economist.com)

"Date Local" (October 24, 2008 -- feministing.com) -- riffing on an Oct. 22 Slate piece of the same title.
    The environmental aspect filled me with snarky glee (cf. "Gee, Al Gore, why not accept your Nobel Prize via video conference.  After all, we've all got to make sacrifices."), but I was less enamoured of the idea that you're contributing to the detriment of local community by dating long-distance.  I don't think having connections to places beyond where you live means you necessarily have less connection to the place you live.
    The Slate piece says, "they make their cities more stratified by inflating an über-class bubble of jet-set shut-ins who are—understandably, given their lifestyle—more worried about conditions at O'Hare than things going on outside their front door."  I do appreciate the nod to the privilege inherent in being able to comfortably maintain a long-distance relationship (though again, I don't think doing a lot of interstate commuting means you necessarily care less about what's going on in your own neighborhood).

***

seen on friendsfriends: "Monologue for an Onion" by Suji Kwock Kim [poem]

I remain kind of addicted to Matt Nathanson's "Come On Get Higher" [lyrics, video].

I was catching up on Will's blog, and one bit struck me (emphasis mine):

The first general rule of Methodism has recently been recast as simply "do no harm." But when we do do harm, even unintended, healing is possible only through the commitment to give the space that love needs. We can't crowd the place with explanations or arguments. Thinking about my hurt friend, leads me to recommit myself to trusting God's ability to fill the empty spaces with grace.
    [full post]

***

Saturday

I ended up not getting to bed until about 1:30am.  Before my mom went to bed, she asked me if I wanted to be woken up at some point in the morning.  I said I figured I needed to be up by 11:30 (for a 12:30 lunch) and that I shouldn't have any problem waking up by then.

11:25am, marginaliana texted me to remind me to register for muskratjamboree.  This is literally what woke me up.  I blame this in part on the fact that the shades were down, so I really had no idea that the sun had risen.  (Apparently if I hadn't gotten up by 11:30, my mom would have woken me up.)

While I was out of the house, the Red Cross called me to tell me about an upcoming blood drive in Medford.  I thought they said, "Monday, November 23rd," but when I went to put it on my calendar later, I saw that the 23rd is a Sunday.  Hrm.  The website doesn't have November up yet.  I signed up for a 6:30pm slot, so I'm sure even if I forget to check I'll get a reminder notice (especially since I don't actually currently have a location).

I feel like I should be going back to work tomorrow, which is kind of weird.

Huh.  I got ~8hrs of sleep, woke up a number of times and fell back asleep (left the fan on all night) and ultimately got up on my own before my alarm.

I picked up the key to my new apartment.  And have begun moving boxes out into the living room -- giving me more room to maneuver as well as the opportunity to Swiffer.  It also gives me a better sense of which boxes are only partially full so I can pack the piles of paper I wanna keep and such like.  I have so much crap.  And so much of it I wanna keep.  Or at least go over more thoroughly than I can right now.  I feel like a bitch making people help me move all this.  At least I'm almost done -- just a few more boxes to go through and then it's just packing up books and clothes and a few sundries.  Oh, and food, too.  Anyway.  Another bag of paper to be taken out to the curb, so yay for that.

About ten past three it started thundering.  At first I wasn't sure it was even raining 'cause I didn't smell it, but I went outside and stood in the rain for a bit.  About twenty minutes later it was over.  Oh summer storms.
    I also got caught in a storm on my way to evening church.  About halfway there it started raining, and at first I thought it was just the rain drops from the earlier storm falling off the tree leaves, but then I realized it was real rain.  And just a few minutes from church it started coming down heavily and I was kinda soaked by the time I got to church.  I didn't mind it at all except that I had to wring my clothes out when I got inside.  I was wearing really good clothes for it, though, so I looked fine.  And my new short haircut means my hair being wet doesn't equal my hair looking all bedraggled.

FanHistory.com, what?  I hadn't heard about it before I saw someone talking about it today, and I love the idea in theory but the execution thus far seems subpar.  Someone said, "I think that the FFN entries, at least, are done by a bot, which is why everyone and their dog is on there, with a complete list of FFN stories."

Dr. Horrible fix-it fic I have read thus far:
+ "You Gotta Have Heart" by executrix
+ Untitled by Amalie (amaliedageek)
+ "Dr. Horrible Goes Back In Time: Left Turn" by Lorraine (lunabee34)
+ "Watch Him As He Goes" by kurukami
I also like this idea for how the ending could have gone down.  This idea also works.
And apparently there is horrible_fic (I should not be surprised), though I haven't read any of it yet.

"New brain scanning technologies are revealing that the part of the brain that processes physical pain also deals with emotional pain." (BBC) [link via inlovewithnight]

I got about 9 hours of sleep last night.

However, I did not get my lunch with Terry, as he had some family emergency (what else is new?).  He said we'll talk some time this week, and it occurred to me later that I don't actually have day plans for next Saturday, so in theory I could come out again.  (I could take the train out Saturday morning, have lunch with him, spend the afternoon with my parents or reading a book or something, go with my mom to Susan's seder, and then take the train home from Brookline Village.)

My mom offered to take me to lunch, so we (my mom and my dad and I) went to Taso's -- this Greek place by Norwood Airport.  'Twas good.  I had mozzarella sticks appetizers and spanikopita which was one big wrap.  I actually ended up taking some leftovers to go -- so we definitely didn't get dessert (baklava, Richardson's ice cream, etc.).  Sadness.  My mom suggested it as an option for my and my brother's birthday celebration this summer.

Lunch was so quiet.  Friday, Cailin and a bunch of us FA's went to Border Cafe, and I always forget how noisy that place is, plus of course with five people there were multiple conversations going on.  Whereas this place wasn't jampacked and all the people who were there were subdued, and my parents and I aren't compulsively chatty.

I had expected it to be cool and rainy and suspected my choice to pack a t-shirt ("Smith College: A Tradition Of Women In Exciting Positions") was ill-advised, but the whole time I was in Norwood I had my sweatshirt tired around my waist.  Warm weather often makes me wary ('cause hot and humid weather makes me miserable, so warm weather indicates to me a prelude to that), but I did have moments of that sense of there being an alive-ness in the air, and I can see how that's appealing to people.  (Yes I was totally a bit envious when I kept hearing about the Midwest or wherever getting all this snow these past couple weeks.)

There were dark clouds when I left my parents' house, and walking home, I saw rain drops falling ahead of me.  For a bit it actually felt like I was traveling "between" the raindrops.  I puttered on the computer for about a half an hour after I got home, and when I went to the laundromat there was sunny blue sky with white clouds.  When I went to the grocery store while my clothes were in the dryer, it started raining a little bit, and when I walked home it started really raining hard -- I think it really did increase in intensity as I left the parking lot . . . and began petering out even before I got home (so we're talking like three minutes of heavy rain).  Oh summer thunderstorms.

It was so good to see Jessie at Layna's party :)  We cuddle piled on the couch with Cat and Sylvia during Apples to Apples.
    There was some conversation during one of the rounds that kept escalating and at one point Jessie turned to me and asked, "Are you traumatized?" and then remembered that I don't traumatize easily (no that is not an invitation to try).  I said I was mentally taking notes to post to LiveJournal.  I totally don't remember what the content of the conversation was, though.  Can anyone remind me?  [Edit: Thank you, Jessie, for reminding me that it was the conversation which had Peter saying, "I'd spoon Santa," and escalating from there.]
    Anthony was the judge for "Heartless" -- which got a great hand of responses.  I loved that in stating that "Hitler" did not win, he mentioned that it invokes Godwin's Law.  (What ultimately won was "Gallbladder.")
    I don't remember who was the judge for "Creepy," but the Final Two were "Barbed Wire" and "Alfred Hitchcock."  Peter said, "Tetanus or black-and-white films?"
    I gave Rebecca "Refreshing" for "Getting a Hug" and Alexis "Creative" for "Salads" (Alexis also won "Desperate" for "The Titanic").  Jessie won the game by winning "Best."  That was around midnight, and most of the remaining partygoers dispersed -- though it took me a while to make my way out as I'm often an inertia sort of a person, especially when I'm tired.

My alcohol for the night: I had a Raspberry UFO beer which turned out to be a Hefeweizen.  I approve.  (I also had Reisling in a plastic cup.)

***

via pirateygoodness: Tricia Helfer with William Shatner on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

via friendsfriends [trollprincess]: the sweetest porn story ever -- and if you click on the original entry (the first link goes to the metaquotes entry), it ends:

During the entire month of April, I am blogging for RAINN (Rape And Incest National Network) in support of National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. At least once a week (but probably more often), I'll be posting about sex in some way, shape or form, as part of a contest through the Grassroots Blogger Book Marketing Campaign. While I'm doing this, if you could please donate to RAINN so that they may continue the work that they're doing, I would appreciate it. When doing so, if you would mention "GBBMC:08" and "chowyunsmut" in the "In Honour Of" box, it will help them track my posts and the donations that said posts generate. Yes, I am eligible to win prizes, but really, I'm doing this to raise money for RAINN. Every little bit helps.

( gym )

I was hungry at like 10:30am today.  And International was American Heartland (Ian's 3rd favorite day -- 'cause it has meatloaf -- after Southern/Barbecue and St. Patrick's Day) so I got mac&cheese -- and was good and also got mozz&tomato and mushroom&carrot salad.  I was still kinda hungry afterward, but wasn't sure what I wanted.  This is annoying after my recent trend of not being hungry enough to finish my lunch.  So on my way to class I stopped at BK for large fries and a large chocolate shake.  (Their veggie burger is not worth $2.59, and I figured this would be enough to tide me over.)  I told Lindsay I thought I was gonna give myself a sugar headache with my drink, and she said I'd be all hyper.  A half hour into class I literally couldn't keep my eyes open.  What up?  I was better after the mid-class break, though.
    Workbook sections covered in tonight's class included: "Why People Move: economic depression, natural disasters, persecution, war, civil disobedience, education."

I signed on to AIM after I got home, and people actually IMed me.  What up?  [And I totally did that thing where I responded to one person in the other person's chat window.  *facepalm*]

---

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
"You may weep and mourn, but your pain will turn to joy...and no one will take that joy from you."
-John 16:20ff

Five good things about today:
1. The weather was brilliant.  Mid-40s and sunny ftw.
2. I can has DVDs!  Media Services called me at like 11:30.  I literally jogged all the way over I was so stoked about the weather.  I distributed them to all the NEG faculty -- hand-delivering when possible, otherwise leaving them in mailboxes and explaining to the FA's.
3. We watched Brian Regan clips on YouTube over lunch.  He's not that original...it's a lot of what's called "observational humor" (thanks Wikipedia)... but his delivery's solid.  (Also, I suspect we're all a bit punchy.)
4. mosca said: "one of my grad school friends forgot what a Venn Diagram was, and I made him this so he would never forget again: ( Some NSFW large text )"
5. I'm actually getting to bed before midnight.

Three things I did well today:
1. I followed up on a bunch of things.
2. I did a project for Katie (for Prof.N.) which ended up taking longer than it should have (weren't the Exchange people talking up this secure server thing for when you sent files that were too big?  I just got a Send/Receive error message that the file I was trying to send was too big; isn't it supposed to prompt me with a URL or something? I did not have time to go look that up, so I worked around it) but I saw it through to the end.
3. I washed dishes.  (Seriously people, your dishes do not have to be piled precariously ... and also you could rinse them out before you let them sit for days with food residue.  I would be happy to wash them for you, but that would be a problematic precedent, so I'll just work around them.)

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. CAUMC small group
2. Work productivity.

The nearby Episcopal church says on its signboard: "Forgive like there's no tomorrow."  Huh.

*

I spent a lot of time on public transit today.  I spent a lot of that time attempting to be in prayer.  One thing I think prayer helps with, for me at least, is helping me to focus on what it is that I really want -- long-term and for my greater well-being and all that, as opposed to what I want short-term . . . Toby's idea of Will, wants vs. needs in the parlance of a tarot reading I once had, want-self vs. should-self in psych parlance.

I've also been thinking during Joys & Concerns in recent weeks, wondering how it is that you decide which concerns to lift up.  'Cause there are always lots of people I know going through difficult times (especially the kind of stuff that isn't just over in a week or two).

*

carlyinrome is hosting the pearls before swine: everyone is unsad meme.  She explains: "Comment here saying nice things about anyone. Anything! Anywhere. Say nice things, and then people will comment to your comment saying nice things about you."

And mjules did joy sadhana today.  Yay for joy.

---

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
"Sin is necessary, but all will be well, and all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well."
-Julian of Norwich, Showings

Five good things about today:
1. I got like nine hours of sleep.  Yay days off for sleeping in.
2. I mostly enjoyed the warm (highs in the low 60's, people! but it was rainy this morning, which I think helped me be okay with it) weather today rather than fretting about how unseasonable it is.
3. I found okay clothes at Sears -- and all on sale, so I got 4 shirts and 2 pairs of pants for <$85.
4. I sent a mildly impulsive e-mail last night, and today I didn't obsess excessively about the potential fallout.  (And, bonus, there wasn't really fallout but rather, unexpectedly, an opening for further dialogue about an ongoing issue.)
5. I found a few things I'd misplaced.

Three things I did well today:
1. I went clothes shopping even though I really didn't want to.
2. I called a friend I've been out of touch with for far too long.
3. I registered for this year's Harvard Lambda Legal Advocacy Conference.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
1. Followup on a particular ongoing conversation.
2. Not having to go anywhere after work.

Wednesday

( gym )

***

via friendsfriends I saw http://speedtest.10-fast-fingers.com/

I did it a bunch of times and my average seems to be about ~480 characters per minute, with 80+ correct words and <10 wrong words.  [Amusingly, the previous day I had been typing an e-mail while MaryAlice waited at my desk to go to lunch, and she said my fingers just flew over the keyboard.  I laughed and said my mom typed way faster than I do.  I can type fairly quickly -- and also fairly accurately -- but my mom can type at dictation speed.]
I was totally noticing that I use my right (dominant) hand like 3/4 of the keyboard.  And also that I would glance down at the keyboard even though I don't think I actually registered any of what I saw.  Though sometimes I did look, because apparently I do have muscle memory, but I couldn't actually tell you where any of the keys are, so if I get too off I have to visually re-set, 'cause I can't (or don't trust myself, possibly) reset via blind muscle memory.

***

rachelmanija has been posting a multi-part essay on PTSD. It incluies the admonition to "NEVER EVER hug a stranger from behind," which I have a bad habit of doing. I mean, not that I go around giving surprise hugs to complete strangers, but I'll hug people I know from behind, not announcing my presence/intentions beforehand, which I should be better about not doing unless I know the person's okay with it.

***

via musesfool:

Quote from Kripke, via Ausiello:

Question: [...] Tell me if Supernatural ever plans on exploring the good side of the supernatural world. You know, guardian angels, the spear of destiny, stuff like that.— Jeff

Ausiello: [...] Here's your answer, courtesy of Supernatural creator Eric Kripke: "We have a firm belief in the cosmology of this show that evil, in terms of demons, etc, is very tangible and real and out there. Angels and supernatural forces of good are much more elusive. But in my opinion — and the opinion of the writers — if God is out there, he isn't sending angels to fight the battles; he's working through a very human, sweaty, outgunned and overwhelmed group of hunters. For us, these are the angels. I think the point that's very important to us to make is that the forces of good work through humans who are flawed and imperfect and trying to make the right decisions. And that's the way God works. So we try to present that."

***

Thursday

( gym )

Wow, I went to direct a visitor somewhere and I totally fail at Left and Right.  I gestured left and said Right and then gestured right and said Left -- and then as he was walking away I realized my error.

Nicole visited Tuck yesterday, and she said while it's in the middle of nowhere it has a lot of great stuff.  She said the staff-faculty-students have a jovial, cordial relationship, "you wouldn't even recognize it."  Is somewhat comforting to know it's an HBS thing not a b-school thing across the board :)  Though later I thought I should have asked her if the students there stood in doorways, especially in the cafeteria ;)

After work, I was in the mood for a fruit smoothie, and the day's special was banana-pineapple-persimmon.  It was tasty.

Friday

( gym )

I didn't bother putting my jacket on when I walked from the gym to my building.  Greg saw me and said: "You must be coming from the gym.  Otherwise you are one cold camper."

Katie and I walked to the T together, but despite her having moved 6 weeks ago, we still haven't taken the Red Line home yet (she was going home today, but I was going downtown).  She's gone to the gym all 5 mornings this week, which is largely my influence.  (She had a gym membership elsewhere before, but went after work and definitely not every day.)

My mom said that her mention of the Black Nativity inspired her boss to get tickets for his family.

I'm not used to being inspiring :)

I'm feeling better, having spent much of Saturday processing, but to spare me the trouble of retelling the story umpteen times, ( the story of how my weekend wasn't what I had expected )

So yeah, if anyone wants to call some other evening just to say hi (I have extension school class on Mondays until 7:30, and Thursday is CAUMC small group from 7-10, but otherwise...), that would probably be lovely.  (Prayers are also appreciated, if you are so inclined.)

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Happy things:

* Stephen Colbert wants a sign he should run for President. [via kita0610]

* After a Grade 9 male student at a Canadian high school is bullied (including being called a homosexual) for wearing a pink tank shirt, two Grade 12 students (also male) distribute pink tank tops and other pink items for students to wear. [via kita0610]

* "The youngest 'Hero' suits up" -- Noah Gray-Cabey goes shopping for the Emmys (though I checked IMDb, and the girl who plays Molly Walker is a year younger than him) [via maechi]

P.S. fox1013 wrote Micah and Molly fic for heroes_bigboom.

Also, Ari came to CWM with me tonight (observing churches being a requirement for one of her classes), and due to train schedules we also got about an hour and a half to hang out beforehand.  (And we bumped into Layna on the way to church.)

Oh, and Jessie, I think I am lame and never thanked you for the collage you made for me, but it is lovely.

And worth_the_trip informs me that "YA author Lee Wind has recently launched his own blog about LGBTQ teen lit called I’m Here. I’m Queer. What the Hell Do I Read?"