burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

Today's Lenten Labyrinth meditation:

    Here are two Holy Week reflections for this day.  The first is: how well are you carrying the cross of Christ?  Does the work of bringing justice and peace to the world, of redeeming it, fit your shoulders?  How involved are you in the sufferings of the poor, society's weak and little ones who lack power?
    The second reflection is: whatever your personal cross or crosses, are you engaged in the creative chemistry of converting them into something that that will enhance you and the world?

The reading also notes:

    "Take up your cross"; what does that mean?  In the Gospel of Luke it seems very evident.  Crosses were for revolutionaries.  They were the instruments of capital punishment for anyone who opposed Rome, who worked actively against the establishment to lift the oppression of the people.  All crosses can be revolutionary, socially renewing as they help to redeem--to make holy--the world.

---

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
"Sin is necessary, but all will be well, and all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well."
-Julian of Norwich, Showings

Five good things about today:
1. [draws hearts around self and gen bff]
2. I headed next door for something this morning, and the weather was so nice.  (weather.com said Boston 10am: 36F feels like 30F)  Alyssa B-G was heading out at the same time, and I said, "I thought I was the only person crazy enough to go outside without a jacket in this weather."  She said she finds bracing cold good for waking her up :)
3. Spangler pasta (gnocchi, spinach & mushrooms & tomato & olives & sundried tomato, with alfredo with pesto).
4. After ~8hrs of sleep, I had hoped to feel more well-rested than I did this morning, but thankfully it didn't affect my day too much.
5. On my way to the T after work, I bumped into Layna -- with her Korean tutor, who says I have soft hair :)

Three things I did well today:
1. I did ~20min in the weight room this morning.
2. I called a friend, because she e-mailed me asking me to.  Which feels more like, "Yay, I got to bring some grace into the world," than an Accomplishment per se.
     Mal: Hey, little one. Understand your part in all this?
     River: Do you?
     Mal: It's what I do, darlin'. It's what I do.
     -Serenity
3. I finally sent out the Unit directory (includes everyone's office phone, home contact info, assistant office contact info) -- people keep asking me for people's contact info, and I'm happy to pull up the document, but it would be much more efficient for everyone to have the information themselves; but I keep not actually sending it out, for reasons that are unclear to me.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. Lunch with Cate.
2. Getting to bed earlier tomorrow night than I am tonight.

---

In one of my rare moments actually logged in to facebook, the update feed informed that Gusti was attending "PASSIONS," so of course I had to click to see what it was 'cause hi, this is Gusti.

Name:        PASSIONS
Tagline:      a Passion Play for Skeptics, Believers, and the Third Millennium
Host:        HDS 2984 "Passion Play" Seminar
Type:        Music/Arts - Performance

In this new and original work written, directed, and performed by the members of Professor Matthew Myer Boulton’s “Passion Play” seminar, the four passion narratives in the New Testament gospels intertwine with contemporary voices that interpret, critique, and encounter these narratives today. With original music composed by HDS student Robert Swartz. All are welcome -- admission is FREE! Come out and support original community theater!

So I put it on my calendar for tonight.  ( INRI )

REMINDER: Daylight Saving Time begins at 2am (here in the U.S.).  Which, okay, is really soon, so I hope most of you already knew that.

***

Today's Lenten Labyrinth meditation says: "It's not enough to remove the darkness of the desire for what is harmful.  Once you've [...] cleansed yourself of evil, you must fill yourself with light, which is to say justice, peace and love."  Earlier it had talked about Luke 11:24-26 where Jesus says that someone has an evil spirit cast out of them and the spirit comes back with more evil spirits, so the person's end lot is worse than before the purgation.

***

I woke up before 9:30 this morning, which confused me, 'cause you saw the timestamp on my before-bed post.  But I felt awake enough to get up, so I did.

Megan and I had a late brunch at Renee's.  I got one of the specials -- Eggs Benedict (which I'd never had before) with mushrooms, artichoke hearts, and peppers.  I think I don't like Eggs Benedict that much.  And the hot chocolate was mediocre.  Oh well.  Last time I was there I had a Greek omelet and an orange juice, which was fine.

By the time we finished, it was raining out (like fairly heavily, and with mini-rivers frequent along the roads and sidewalks), so we just came home, changed out of our wet shoes and pants and into dry pajama pants and hung out.  We mostly discussed interpersonal stuff, but there was a detour to cat_macros, and I played a bunch of music for her 'cause she was unfamiliar with Ani DiFranco, Dar Williams, Jeffrey Foucault, etc.

We had a late dinner -- Barilla ricotta & spinach tortellini and watched Latter Days.  It's got a few plotholes, but mostly just the usual kind of stuff you don't pay too much attention to.  I enjoyed the movie.  I really liked the analogy of life being like the dots that make up the comics printed in newspapers -- that we're too close to make sense of it, but from God's perspective it does all make sense.

mjules: "If it weren't for the gutter, my brain would be homeless"

I only skimmed my flist, which I expect will continue to be the case for some time as Megan's here until Monday evening.

---

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
"Sin is necessary, but all will be well, and all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well."
-Julian of Norwich, Showings

Five good things about today:
1. Further talking out some things.
2. Sharing music.
3. I got to lay (is that correct, thistlerose?) lie on Megan while watching the movie.
4. There were lots of quite enjoyable bits in the movie.
5. Chatting with Megan generally being so easy and comfortable.  (It occurs to me that I have a really good track record with meatspace meetings of people I previously only knew from online and often not for especially long periods of time -- like usually in the ballpark of a year.)
Bonus: A member of the household other than myself bought toilet paper.

Three things I did well today:
1. I thought to bring an umbrella to brunch even though it wasn't yet raining when we left the house.
2. I made dinner.
3. I washed dishes.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation" -Ari]
1. Bringing Megan to gay church.
2. Hopefully seeing Rachel at morning church.

Today's Lenten Labyrinth talked about blindness (and at morning church I realized that yes, again it was the day's lectionary story -- John 9).  The meditation said:

    On this first day of a new week in your Lenten pilgrimage, ask yourself in what ways you might be blind.  Are there aspects of yourself, certain behavior characteristics, about which you are unsighted?  Do you blind yourself to injustices in your community or in your church?  Are you God-blind?  Are you able to see God's glory, which Isaiah said filled all of heaven and earth?
    Take time, perhaps with your eyes closed, to quietly explore the various ways in which you are unseeing.

***

I didn't get to bed until around 11 last night (being so tired means everything I try to do I'm slow in doing) but I actually woke up around 7am this morning, which was a pleasant surprise.  I was awake enough that I could have gotten up, but I stayed in bed, woke up a couple more times before getting up around 8:30.  I slept through most of the sermon at morning church, so yeah, not entirely rested (and here I am up late again, sigh).

CHPC adult ed ran until 2:15, at which point we wrapped up with option to stay and keep talking.  Unfortunately, I was committed to getting picked up for carpool to Bolton for Meredith's bridal shower.  I got to the church right as Meredith showed up.  Jess commented that her own car smelled like dim sum, and I thought of "Arrivederci, Fiero" and was sad that Michelle wasn't there.

I don't know what I was expecting from a bridal shower, exactly, but crafts projects (i.e., putting together favors for 120 guests) was not on the list.  It's gonna be good times when Michelle and I get to "Arrivederci, Fiero" -- she did show up at the shower, and I told her about the dim sum and she looked at me blankly and I finally realized that yes, that's a Season 2 episode.  (We've only watched up through "Best Prom Ever" together, though she's seen some scattered other episodes -- like "Little Boys.")  Anyway, it wasn't excessively painful, and they did feed us -- including pie and ice cream for dessert (I was unimpressed by the "to die for" mocha torte, but was surprised to find the apple pie really good).

Edit: I was wearing my Smith hoodie, and one of Meredith's aunts(?) asked me if I'd gone to Smith College.  I said yes, and we chatted a bit since she had, too (as had one of the other aunts in attendance). /edit

We got home around 8:30, and Meredith dropped me at my house since we were going right near it.  Since I only read the first two stories in the book, I wasn't too broken up about missing evening church book study.  I dislike that I've gotten so busy that sometimes I have to skip out on regular commitments to go to one-time events, but I suppose such is the way of the world.  (I also haven't had the time/energy to really engage with my flist, which is also sad.)

---

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
"Sin is necessary, but all will be well, and all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well."
-Julian of Norwich, Showings

Five good things about today:
1. I got over 8 hours of sleep.
2. I got to spend time outside in the sunny cold (~30F) this morning.
3. Rachel e-mailed me 'cause she wasn't in church today.
4. I sent an e-mail kind of on a whim, and I got a hysterical e-mail response in exactly the spirit my original e-mail was intended.  (And I actually managed a resposne in that same spirit.  Which totally counts as a Done Well item, 'cause being funny is hard.)
5. Megs is in fact coming to visit.  (I just need to find out about taking Monday off before I buy the tickets.)

Three things I did well today:
1. I bought some groceries.
2. I lent my cell phone to both Amy and Michelle.  I helped make wedding favors.
3. I helped a good friend with a decision-making process.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
1. The Sarah Connor Chronicles
2. Asking for next Monday off.

Today's Lenten Labyrinth talks about the story of the Samaritan woman and how Jesus was breaking all sorts of social boundaries . . . the usual stuff from that story . . . and then it goes on to say:

     As you ponder the out-of-character behavior of Jesus, at least out-of-character for a Jewish man of his time, remember that he was tired. I propose to you that, at the well, Jesus was not so much meek and humble of heart as sick and tried of heart. He was sick and tired, fed up with the silly laws that separate people, laws that brand women as inferior. He was sick and tired of those religious debates about which religion is superior to all others, the "Mine is best" attitude.
     Was Jesus also sick and tired of the fact that any group of people thought they could capture God and put God inside some little building on this or that mountain? His words to the woman at Jacob';s well seemed edged in impatience. Jesus said that God is Spirit, and so you cannot put God in any box or house.

The first few days in the book talked about death and stuff and I assumed it was a more conservative bent, but this is all blah blah inclusive. (And it's talked recently about wishing wells -- about gifting the goddess of the well, which made me all like, "Really? In a Lenten devotional book?")

***

( gym )

***

Leap Year Google Doodle

in_parentheses says:

I love the idea of Leap Day as a day out of time -- it's like the extra hour for Daylight Savings, only we get twenty-four extra hours! Why isn't it a carnival day? Why are we all going to work like normal?

***

Hey, Cat. The Economist came today, and one of the articles listed on the front cover is "In praise of the potato." I flipped to page 18 to find "The potato: Spud we like: In praise of the humble but world-changing tuber," which informed me that "The United Nations has declared 2008 the International Year of the Potato." There is also a book review:

History of the potato
Wonder-food

On the face of it, John Reader's new biography of the potato seems to have a silly title—"propitious esculent" is just a fancy way to say "helpful food"—and an even sillier subtitle. But that is because the virtues of the world's fourth biggest food crop (after maize, wheat and rice) and its influence on world history are easily overlooked. "I used to take potatoes for granted," the author writes. His aim is to discourage readers from doing likewise.

And lastly there's an article about the potato in Peru, where it was first domesticated. (I feel like only a British rag would come up with the punny "Llamas and mash" as a title for such an article.)

***

I got everything squared away at work (well, I delegated one thing because I was still waiting on a response from her prof) and got to the TransLaw conference early and everything.

Between panels, a woman sitting next to me (Talia) made some superficial small talk comment, and we got chatting, and it actually would have been lovely for it to have gone on longer. This was extra nice 'cause I was feeling very much like most people there already knew clumps of people and I was just sitting there reading my book. (Not that I mind sitting and reading my book.)

I took brief notes on the panels, so there's actually a prayer of writeups happening sometime this decade.

Both panels ran late, and at 5:30 (when the second panel was originally supposed to end) I opted to stay for the half hour Q&A rather than extricating myself from my row to go make my preferred train back to Norwood.

I got dinner at the Harvard Square Qdoba (I had a Qdoba coupon that was only good for January/February) and then went to South Station and read. We're reading pieces of The Meaning of Jesus: Two Visions in adult ed at CHPC, and last week we did chapters 3-4 and this week we're doing chapters 9-10 but of course I feel the need to read all the chapters, and I actually finished chapter 8 right as my commuter rail pulled into my station, so yay for good use of my time.

I walked in to the sanctuary and saw MikeF. and JohnP. and I hugged Mike and he said he'd asked my mom to help with the offertory if I didn't get there in time so I should tell her I was here. I went and found her and we hugged and it was . . . not quite the feeling of hanging on for dear life, but . . . as my mom said later, "These are wounded people." I went back, and I hugged JohnP. and it was the same kind of hugging. Less prolonged, but the exact same feeling. I did a lot of shoulder/back rubbing and side-hugging and stuff with both of them throughout the evening.

I had thought I would go to Singspiration in part to get more information about the UCN drama, but most people just did the superficial "How are you?" / "Fine" exchanges -- and there are a variety of legitimate reasons to not talk about that stuff, especially with me (even though I feel like I'm a member of the church by proxy) and in this particular context. I am really glad that I went and was able to be a blessing to people. (And of course after we got home, my mom and I talked.)

People kept asking if I was staying at my parents', and I said I was staying overnight but then getting an early train back to Boston to attend a conference, and GinnyH actually asked me what the conference was, and I said, "transgender legal issues," and she didn't give me shockface or anything, in fact started asking me about it like had I learned interesting/useful stuff or something like that and I just went with it and did my best to answer -- since lots of different things had been brought up in the two panels I'd been to thus far. Other stuff came up and we didn't get far in the conversation, but still, I thought, "I'm so confused; aren't you supposed to be telling me how bad and deviant trans folk are and questioning why I'm going to this conference?"

---

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
"Sin is necessary, but all will be well, and all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well."
-Julian of Norwich, Showings

Five good things about today:
1. I saw Allie waiting for the T this morning.
2. I had baby samosas (and eggplant with potato curry) for lunch.
3. [TransLaw] I spent nearly four hours listening to radical folk and did not feel profoundly uncomfortable.
4. [Singspiration] I told a member of UCN that I was going to a conference on transgender legal issues and she acted like that wasn't anything to remark on.
5. When my mom brought the car around when we finally left Singspiration (we stayed through all the cleanup) it was just beginning to snow lightly.

Three things I did well today:
1. At work, I wrapped up the stuff I didn't get to yesterday.
2. I looked into gay clubs in the Boston area as advance research for a friend's potential visit.
3. I helped with the post-Singspiration cleanup a bit.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
1. More TransLaw conference -- which hopefully I will stay awake for (god I fail at going to bed).
2. Saturday night I will actually get to sleep for real. (I hope.)

The Lenten Labyrinth: Daily Reflections for the Journey of Lent today talked about (among other things) God telling Abram: "Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your parents' house to land that I will show you.  I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you" (Gen. 12:1-2).  This kind of thing is of course scary, and the book goes on to talk about the Santa Fe railroad with its slogan, "Santa Fe, all the way."  The book points out that the full name of the city is Villa real de la Santa Fe de la San Francisco and that "Santa Fe" means "Holy Faith."  The idea of course being that we are walking this journey with God.

***

I was talking to Rachel after morning church service, and mentioned having recently exchanged e-mails with someone like real friends.
She replied: "As opposed to pretend friends, who just want to get in bed with each other -- to play Scrabble."

And later:
Rachel: "Screw guys who don't know what they want."
me: "Literally or metaphorically?  You might want to rethink your verb choice there, you know."
Rachel: [thinks] "Depends on how much they're paying you."

***

I watched a documentary about burlesque this afternoon at the MFA [IMDb link].

I love what my schedule today says about who I am:

-- go to a fairly traditional (progressive), peace justice and mission -oriented, church in the morning
-- skip a potluck & program about the Cambridge to Bethlehem program at said church afterward to
-- watch a a documentary on burlesque at the MFA
-- go to queer church in the evening
-- followed by a study on transgender issues [at said church]

***

The driver on the Green Line car I got home?  Kinda crazy.

At one point, along with the usual "Doors open on the right" or whatever, he said, "Go Celtics," which, okay, fine.

Then, departing a later stop, he announced, "We've got a family here from Cape Elizabeth, Maine.  Let's give them all a big Boston welcome.  Put your hands together."  AWKWARD!

Finally, as we pulled into Park St., he said, "Go Red Sox."
A passenger near me said, "A bit early for that, isn't it?"
I replied, "Yeah.  Pitchers and catchers was what, last week?"  (I can say things like this because musesfool is on my flist.)

---

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
"Sin is necessary, but all will be well, and all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well."
-Julian of Norwich, Showings

Five good things about today:
1. I got a solid comfortable amount of sleep.
2. fiareynne loved the ballet I linked to from mjules and shared it with her flist.
3. I started rereading Wendy Wasserstein's play The Heidi Chronicles because when I was watching her play Third I was reminded of it.  I had forgotten how fun some parts of it are.
4. After CWM fellowship dinner, there was carrot cake birthday cake, and clementines.
5. Isabel sent me a very thorough reply e-mail about Greece and Italy stuff.
Bonus: Tufts is having showings of Shortbus (and other films).
Which reminds me that I had meant to include as a joy item that despite it not being the very end of the month yet, the MFA today had March/April film calendars out, so I was able to pick one up.

Three things I did well today:
1. I got up at a reasonable hour.
2. I talked with Rachel after church service this morning, and she said I helped put things in perspective (re: the difficult situation we were discussing), so good on me for that.
3. Again, I ate real food rather than filling myself with processed sweets.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
1. Sleeping in!
2. The Sarah Connor Chronicles