burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

So everyone’s back at Smith now, right? Though almost everyone I care about had already returned -- or wouldn't be returning this year (e.g. Liz-in-Germany, Class of '05, etc.). (Come to think of it, anyone know if Lez is back this semester?)

I miss Smith people. And they miss me, which is something I’m still getting used to.

Late-night AIM conversations are bad ‘cause I have to get up at 6:20am. (Yeah, beat that, bitches.) I think I might actually crash tonight, which will hopefully get my body back into a normal sleep cycle. The problem is that I like the people whom I actually like, and realtime conversation is nice, so unless I’m seriously tired I’m probably not gonna cut latenight IMs short.

Paige mentioned my big crossover fic and damn, the dark and the allusion-making!River... I hadn’t realized how similar this is to the darkfic I just wrote -- probably ‘cause I wrote the crossover back in March.

We talked about Sessions (duh, I hadn’t realized the first and final released sessions were halves of the same session). I need to watch them in numbered order now instead of release order. And I’d forgotten what it would be like to watch them not knowing the canon, to not know the extent of what they do to her.

wisdomeagle wrote Dawn/Tara and reading the comments has been funny ‘cause so many are surpriseish and (a) Dawn and Tara are the biggest sluts on my recs page (with Lilah possibly tying -- oh, it occurs to me that I should figure out a way to include poly and crossover stories on the character pages) and I primarily femslash both of them (though my Tara -- and Dawn -- is BI!), (b) I read Dawn/Tara as practically canon at least in so far as Dawn has a crush on Tara and they have a very close, tender relationship, (c) I will never forgive Willow for S6, so breaking up Willow/Tara is totally not a problem for me, because after probably “Tabula Rasa” I thought Tara was too good for Willow and actively did not want them together (unless Willow reformed, which she didn’t, and now I don’t want them together period). I’m actually trying really hard not to character assassinate Willow in the fic I’m currently working on, particularly because I recently read Teach Me to Hear the Mermaids Singing and felt like the author too easily turned Anya into a nasty character to get her out of the way of the romantic pairing the author wanted.

My parents finished watching Firefly on Monday. I came in for bits and pieces of “Heart of Gold” and sat the whole of “Objects in Space” and then we watched the special features, most of which I hadn’t myself seen before.

My dad asked if the deleted scenes were considered canon. *hearts my geek family*

Joss said that knowing you could be canceled at any moment is good -- not good for your digestion or good for your marriage, but it forces you to focus on the stories you most wanna tell. He called the show a “jewel” and I wondered, If not for that pressure, would we have had the intensely brilliant show we had? Would the quality have been as solid as it was?

Dude, Angie Hart [whose song “Blue” opened the BtVS ep “Conversations With Dead People”] played one of the religious whores in “Heart of Gold.” The blonde one who sings at the end.

And speaking of the end: ( spoilers for The Message and Heart of Gold )

I’ve mostly just been coming in and out while my parents watched my DVDs, but this time ‘round I noticed even more than I had when I marathoned with Rachel and Jonah that I actually like Jayne. For the longest time he was the one character that I really had no love for. Sure he provided comic relief, but he was brainless and brutish and yeah, ways to totally not win me at all. But I liked Jayne full-stop this time. I think because I read him as human, and seeing him as complex and vulnerable and all that makes me actually like him. Oh, and after having seen The Dive from Clausen’s Pier I am far more susceptible to the hotness of Sean Maher (to whom I had been previously indifferent).

Okay, that picture I was wondering about? Gotta be the same artist who did the Australian Serenity poster.

*loves*

mosca on the icon pairing meme:
      2. Ani Difranco/Anya
      Not only could it happen, but there are several albums that it might explain.

Beautiful icons with Leonard Cohen lyrics.

Ann Althouse quotes a NYT article on the winner of China’s version of American Idol ("Super Girl"):

[Li Yuchun], 21, is almost the antithesis of the assembly-line beauties regularly offered up on the government's China Central Television, or CCTV. Tall and gangly, with a thatch of frizzy hair, the adjectives most used to describe her in the media were "boyish" or "androgynous." Some commentators speculated that her fan base consisted of young girls who considered her to be their "boyfriend" because of her appearance.

The first commenter says, "a butch woman is seen as a romantic interest by enough young girls that that was the reason she won a popularity contest? Assuming the commentators weren't total idiots (though they probably are), it would suggest China won't have an overpopulation problem in a generation or so."

Ann replies: "Maybe androgyny is becoming popular because young men are trying to find a way to have sexual relationships. Li really is a woman but she looks boyish. That may help a young heterosexual man find a way to see other men as suitable sexual partners."

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So, um doyle_sb4 linked to a SomethingAwful.net thread called "Things You've Learned About Your Fandom Thanks to Badfic" and I got sucked in. It’s almost entirely about anime, which meant I could skip over most of it, which was probably a blessing.

Snippets I particularly enjoyed:

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:
* There was no book. There was no original movie. There is only Johnny Depp.
(posted by Baelish)

ST Voyager:
B'Elanna would love to wear lacy dresses. Tom would, too.
Harry thinks about wearing lacy dresses, but is too scared to try one on.
Tuvok exists whenever he's in Ponn Farr and needs to bonk immediately or die, which happens about every few weeks dues to a recurring spatial anomaly.
(posted by Dama47)

Newsies:
2. Just because you're selling newspapers in 1899 New York doesn't mean you can't be an American high-schooler a hundred or more years later.
(posted by Cecilia86)

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So, Supreme Court Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist died on Saturday and Bush quickly nominated John Roberts as his replacement. This is the same Roberts who’s been up for Sandra Day O’Connor’s spot, so I’m confused by people who are all, “Who is this guy and where can I find info on him?” (From a Yahoo article: "For the past two months members of the United States Senate and the American people have learned about the career and character of Judge Roberts," Bush said. "They like what they see." Whether you agree with Bush’s assessment or not, the media has in fact been discussing Roberts for quite some time now.)

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Ann Althouse on why New Orleans is under sea level to begin with

commodorified talks about how relief organizations work and how to make your donation most effective, and damned_colonial talks more about specifying where your donation goes.

versailles_rose has a list of some NOLA landmarks and how they fared, via the Associated Press. And a couple days later: "Katrina doesn't cancel Southern Decadence parade"

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OkCupid told me:
     You are a Social Liberal (75% permissive)
      and an... Economic Liberal (36% permissive)
     You are best described as a: Democrat
      You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.
*cries*

Having to write a paper on Friday when i'm used to having Friday as an off day?  Totally messed up my conception of time.  I kept feeling like i should one more free day left.

I missed Biz and Cordelia preaching at HHHC Senior Sunday because i'd been asked to usher at First Churches.  My name was spelled correctly in the program, which was probably my biggest excitement about the whole thing.  Turned out it was Youth Sunday.  This kid Nick who looks about middle school age played "Gigue" from Sonata in D minor by Veracini, and he's not a prodigy, but he was really good -- certainly better than i ever was, though that's not saying a whole lot.  This girl Chelsea who's a freshman at NorthamptonHigh (to write NHS would just be too weird for me) did the sermon, and you could tell she was nervous 'cause she was talking fast and stumbling over what she was saying sometimes, but she was pretty good.  And Sasha not only did a handdrums piece but he also did a piece he wrote himself with guitar, singing (though i couldn't make out a lot of the words), and harmonica, that last of which means he wins at life.

Kelly got installed at Chicopee at 2pm, but obviusly i couldn't go.  I meant to ask Liza for her e-mail address.

I finished a whole set of website edits (which won't go live until Sunday) and as well as my MAT project.  (Why am i not motovated until it's like T minus 24 hours to deadline?)  It's a very traditional unit with reading quizzes and an exam including passage identification and all that, and i feel like i got lazy, but i'm a kind of an off-the-cuff type of girl, so my discussion outlines are only going to be so comprehensive.  And i'm honestly torn between feeling like i don't cover enough and feeling like i try to cover too much, since i'm still in Smith College English major mode rather than high school English class mode.  I think it's a reasonably comprehensive (for high school) unit though, and also flexible.

I didn't reread Charles Williams for Inklings class 'cause of sleep dep (the first time i did the reading i was sleep deprived and retained little, so i figured repeating that wouldn't help anything) but it turned out okay because she broke us up into groups in class and my group (highonsleepdepZia, SullenEmily, and some other girl) got the one about the Inklings phenomenon, which CZ hadn't intended initially, but when she realized it was us she made some crack about how we'd be good at it or know a lot or be argumentative or something. Anyway i remember thinking "Way to go having a rep," 'cause it's so true.

I think i might finally be under enough deadline pressure to actually make myself do all this work.

I went to the second batch of Eng. Dept. thesis presentations.  Turns out i actually know the Auden girl insomuch as i've had classes with her.  Was weird listening to the Space Trilogy presentation 'cause hello something i've acatually read (2/3 of).  And i had forgotten how brilliant J is.  And to my surprise, i found myself actually wanting to read her book.

In Renaissance Drama, Emma's reading John Ford's " 'Tis Pity She's a Whore" and told me i need to read it.  In fact i already have, so all is right with the world.  I read Angela Carter's retelling first, and frequently blame it for my incest kink.
I boggle that i'm the one of all my friends (by which i mean: the cohort i surround myself with here at Smith) who is nigh on unsquickable, has no TMI threshhold, etc.  Emma expressed surprise that i think of this as some sort of new development.  I think partly i still think of myself as being around people like Mimi and Allison.  And more generally being around people who are so much more sexually experienced (and interested in being sexually experienced) than i.  And the internalization of people's perceptions of me (the first time Mimi heard me swear -- back in high school -- she literally stopped in her tracks and made me repeat it because she couldn't believe it had come out of my mouth).

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club_joss: book club-esque discussion of fanfiction.  Looks interesting.  It just started, and the current fic is a Spike/Xander, so i'm abstaining for now but am friending it to keep an eye on it.  (Speaking of which, i really should catch up on ats_nolimits at some point.)

I also added su_herald and meta_fandom to my flist, which i probably should have done a while ago (though there is the whole distraction=bad factor).  This is a really interesting personal essay on the power dynamics involved in rl sex, seguing into a discussion about writing chan, and then seguing back to rl.

Serenity trailer comes out on Tuesday, probably before the Hitchhiker movie.  I was so willing to go see Elektra over break to see the trailer, but i am not seeing HGttG and not going to the movies the last week of classes, and being spoiler-free is how i prefer to operate anyhow.  (Yes i know September 30 is a long way away.  But y'all are good at cut-tagging.)

From the zinesters list:

Are you still saddened by the demise of the teen magazine Sassy?? Do you have trouble understanding what all the hubbub about Sassy was about?? Have you ever ranted or raved about Sassy in a zine??

Kara Jesella and Marisa Meltzer are currently working on a book about Sassy, to be published by Simon, Farrar & Giroux, and are looking for articles about Sassy (positive, negative, whatever).

If you have printed, written, or read any such articles about Sassy in a zine (even if the focus of the piece is not Sassy itself), please contact Rebecca at rebecca.willa.davis@gmail.com.

I think i left some of my posters at home, ‘cause going through the ones i have here i know i own some other ones.  These are the ones i have in my room currently (that are free for the claiming):

• Pooh Bear with pinecones
  
• "Apparition du Visage de l'Aphrodite Cnide dans un Paysage" - Salvador Dali
  
• The snow!Ani poster of her standing on the rock.  (I'm fairly certain i have the other one, plus red hat Ani, at home, so you can put in a request if you'd like either of those, i just make no guarantees.)
  
• The Buffy poster i have on my closet door that looks like this only mine's all in purple tones.

One thing i will never live down is not shaking my class president's hand after getting my high school diploma.  I wasn't purposely snubbing him (i was indifferent to him) it was just that the way stuff was set up, he wasn't directly in my line of vision and i honestly forgot.  Some of the football players were on the periphery of my circles in high school (and then went to UMass Amherst, though i have yet to bump into them), so when they end up in the local paper my father saves them for me, but i had completely forgotten about the existence of this kid until my father e-mailed me the following:
"LB Alfred Fincher of UConn was taken by the Saints in the third round of the NFL Draft [...]  Fincher was the first player ever taken by the Saints out of Connecticut" -from the New Orleans Saints website
and more info from the NFL site
My high school class president will be playing for the NFL next year.  I'm feeling a little weird about my future right now.

So speaking of weird, i heart the Hitchhiker's Guide (book quotes, no movie) icons here.  And there are some good ones here.

Also: son_of_art on akronohten (in a thread here):

your own live journal would lead anyone to believe that you were "Bi", which is (as most people know) a term used by gay men who are still partly in denial. At best, it is the socially "light" label referring to people who still amount to part-time Sodomites.

I think "part-time Sodomite" is the best redonculous phrase i've heard recently.  I may need to adopt it.

So yeah, that deadline pressure i spoke of above.  ::runs away::  More link spam tomorrow.