hermionesviolin: black-and-white image of a church in the background, with sheep of different colors in the foreground, text at the top "Religion is a Queer Thing" and text at the bottom "Cambridge Welcoming Ministries" (religion is a queer thing)
I got an email a few minutes ago with the link [PDF] to the draft report in preparation for Saturday's "Deep Listening and Honest Sharing on Social Principles Statement on Human Sexuality," and was I was reading the first statement, I realized that it said things like "members of our community who happen to be homosexual" and I had barely even noticed -- unlike when I was reading the "Barack Obama, Rick Warren & Marriage" piece Pastor Vic at SCBC sent me earlier this week (we're meeting this Sunday to talk about same-sex marriage, so he sent me the piece he had written for the church newsletter) and really didn't like the frequent use of the term "homosexual." I think it was because I felt so at home in the statement, was so wrapped in affirmation, whereas Vic's piece felt so much like an outsider trying to articulate tolerance and civility. (Er, that sounds more negative on Vic than I intend it to.)

What I really wanted to say, though, was that I was reading the second statement, and it's much more hesitant, but I was so struck by "We reject the witness of those who ridicule, denigrate, and abuse those who are perceived as homosexuals, lesbians, and gender transformed." gender transformed. Okay, I as a bisexual am elided, and "homosexuals and lesbians" is weirdly redundant, but, gender transformed.

Also (I opted to keep reading before hitting Post), the second statement goes on to say, "The emergence of bi-sexuality as accepted in culture suggests there is considerable diversity in our sexuality, not just one or the other." *dances* Extraneous hyphen notwithstanding, I am not invisible!!! *\o/*
hermionesviolin: (andro)
As part of [livejournal.com profile] ibarw (whose optional theme this year is "intersectionality"), [livejournal.com profile] wisdomeagle posted a number of links, with commentary.

One really smart thing she said (re: appropriate ways to refer to trans folk):
"not born a woman"? Really? I wasn't born a woman either -- I was born a person, assigned a female gender and became a girl, and only now am I becoming an (adult) woman.
One thing she commented on was a quote I have in my LJ profile:
Why is the possibility of "passing" so insistently viewed as a great privilege ... and not understood as a terrible degradation and denial?
-Evelyn Torton Beck, Nice Jewish Girls
She noted that,
"passing" is a problematic term for, e.g., a transwoman successfully presenting herself as a woman, because she's not "passing" as a something she isn't [the way a biracial person might "pass" as white]; she is a woman succeeding in presenting herself correctly
[livejournal.com profile] kyuuketsukirui responded:
As for the term passing, I know some people have a problem with it for the reasons you gave, but everyone I know uses it. To my mind it does not refer to passing as simply male or female, but specifically passing as cisgendered (and thus "normal" and "acceptable" and deserving of basic human rights).
Talk about "passing" made me wanna reread Passing (by Nella Larson), which reminded me that I never got around to reading Quicksand (in the same volume); and the whole discussion reminded me how little knowledge I have.  By the time we got to international issues in Issues in Queer Studies (a Thursday evening class I took my second semester at college) I was dozing off in class 'cause I wasn't getting enough sleep, and I remember woefully little from my Harlem Renaissance class.  I've read Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man, but could I tell you anything about it?  Have I read any James Baldwin?

I've been wanting to binge on queer (including trans) ya lit (plus reread various queer lit classics), and I still want to do that, but there's other stuff I should do in addition -- like reading Judith Halberstam and Judith Butler and maybe attempting Michel Foucault again and rereading Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? and reading Ralph Waldo Ellison's Invisible Man and so on.

[livejournal.com profile] oyceter posted about her experience with [livejournal.com profile] 50books_poc.  She commented:
Now that over half the books I'm reading are by POC, there's a real difference. White isn't the default any more. While I theoretically knew that "I don't want to think about racism" is a privileged excuse, since something that's all white is already racialized, it was much harder internalizing this until I had changed over to read more POC. Now, when I do fall back and read white authors writing all-white worlds, it doesn't feel like the norm anymore. It feels like it's missing quite a few someones. And while I love emo white girl YA, it now feels like a genre, not the face of YA.
hermionesviolin: (hipster me)
Why did I dream about being in a cult?  Dreaming about Ben delineating catering options for the Unit makes sense, but srsly?  (I also had two running dreams, which hasn't happened in some time.)

***

gym )

I hit the cardio room just before 8:00am, so I got to watch Sports Center (ESPN) from the beginning.  They opened with the All-Star Game but, actually didn't say who won until the end of the ten minute rehash of the game, which pleased me.  All-Star Game, 2008 )

***

bisexuality ftw! )

***

Rest and Bread - theme: Memory )

They have t-shirts that say "Beloved," which I was tempted by, but I saw the one that Gary got [which was long-sleeved, what up?] and it just says it in small print on the front (with a descending dove beneath it, white on navy, so it is lovely) and the back has this giant logo for the church [edit: currently the profile pic on the church's facebook page].  So yeah, opting out of that.

***

Laura Ruth invited me to join her small group, which was meeting Wednesdays at 7pm (right after Rest and Bread service).  I said sure, of course.  She said we would be doing the third question today (I immediately thought of Passover, but just sort of looked at her blankly).  She said that each week all of the small groups discusses the same question, which I knew from last week, but I didn't actually know what the questions were.  So she took me up to her office and gave me the handout.

I knew the groups were about 12 people each (and that only about half that number actually attended group) but hadn't realized that they had "put every last person at First Church into small groups," as the handout says.  Which makes for 10 groups, apparently.

Laura Ruth had to take care of some stuff, so James and I went ahead to JP Licks without her.  I got a medium peanut butter with hot fudge.  Tasty.  I also paid for hers (and totally used it to get points on my loyalty card).  After was had all finished eating ours, she still hadn't arrived, so we left JP Licks and walked back up to the church.  I held her ice cream and ended up eating some of it 'cause it was dripping all over me, but I pointed out that there was a "diminishing marginal utility" (and I didn't even use scare-quotes when I said it) since I was already full.

Also present were Carolyn, Kim, Daniel-Rosie, and, joining us later: Carolyn's sister Marjorie (all of whom were new to me).

spiritual gifts; prayer )

Sunday, July 27 they're having a Blessing of the Animals (yes they're not following the liturgical calendar) in combination with Vegetarian Sunday (followed by a vegetarian potluck).  I was first tempted at the news that last year someone brought a hedgehog to the Blessing of the Animals, but I think it is Vegetarian Sunday that will really entice me to go.

***

Group wrapped up around 9pm, so I was still able to go see Gender Redesigner at the Brattle.  (So you see why I didn't get this post finished last night.  I got home around quarter of midnight and practically fell into bed.)

Heading into Davis T Station I passed Tamerleigh coming out.  She couldn't remember my name, but we hugged, both as hello and goodbye.  Win.

documentary: Gender Redesigner )

+

CineMental does a film at the Brattle the third Wednesday of every month, and the next one is Trans Entities, Wed. Aug. 20 at 9:30pm.  The night before I come back from Europe.  I am missing docu-porn!  :(
hermionesviolin: a build-a-bear, facing the viewer, with a white t-shirt and a rainbow stitched tattoo bicep tattoo (pride)
[CWM] Mark M.'s schedule of queer educational film goes as follows: Read more... )

As we began discussing trans films, I thought about how we don't really deal with race. (Ari, this was even before I saw your CoC entry.)  I thought of black./womyn.:conversations with lesbians of African descent from this year's MFA festival, but other than that I can't think of anything that specifically deals with the intersection of race and sexuality (or anything that deals with intersections of race and Christianity), nor do I really know how to go about looking for such films/documentaries.

Speaking of lists of queer films... [livejournal.com profile] silviakundera posted: "This is an collection of mini-summaries of various gay flicks I have seen at one point or another. Some may be more of a vague memory, others are fresh. Each movie will be clearly marked as having a happily-ever-after ending or not. And I am certainly not promising that all films listed are GOOD films. Just gay ones."

***

Purple Rhino? )

***

Thursday night my mom e-mailed me:
Subject: I spend too much time in your head space

I saw this headline on Yahoo:
"Gates ousts Air Force leaders in historic shake-up"
which I read as
"Gates outs Air Force leaders in historic shake-up".

I was confused until I realized my error.
:)
***
hermionesviolin: (andro)
trailer: from the director of Lucía y el sexo... Caótica Ana
This looks interesting, and apparently it's kicking off a 13-film Festival of New Cinema from Spain (June 19-29). However, June 19 is a Thursday, which means I'm previously committed. Ooh, it's showing Saturday, June 28, 2008, at 7:20 pm, too -- though Gary's retirement party is that day at 4pm.
Argentinian Cinema
Film
XXY
[IMDb] Huh, it's based on a short story: "Cinismo" by Sergio Bizzio
8:15 pm
Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Remis Auditorium

XXY by Lucia Puenzo (Argentina, 2007, 91 min.). Alex is a fifteen-year-old struggling to keep a dark secret. Soon after her birth, her parents decide to leave Buenos Aires to settle in isolation in the dunes of the Uruguayan shoreline. When friends from Buenos Aires visit with their sixteen-year-old son, Álvaro, the inevitable attraction between the teenagers forces them all to face their worst fears. As rumors spread around town, people's fascination with Alex may become dangerous. "XXY [is] a study of teen angst that's grounded in more than simply nebulous emotion...its sensitive treatment of an equally sensitive theme elevates it into something memorable" (Variety). Spanish with English subtitles.

Co-presented by CineMental and Truth Serum Productions.
Read more... )
hermionesviolin: a build-a-bear, facing the viewer, with a white t-shirt and a rainbow stitched tattoo bicep tattoo (pride)
Standing in line Friday, I felt sort of out of place surrounded by all these very dykey looking women.

Coming Soon (were there trailers in years past?): Girls Rock! (this looks adorable and awesome -- the website says it's showing at the MFA July 31 ... which is a Thursday, dammit), A Jihad For Love (part of the festival, and I still do not feel compelled to see it)

The woman introducing the films mentioned that yes they're aware that they should probably change the name of the festival to something more inclusive which more accurately reflects the community, and the 25th annual next year seems a good time to do that, so if anyone has any clever name ideas let her lnow.  Personally, I would settle for "GLBT Film Festival," which is what I've mostly been calling this, though I recognize that that's not inclusive of all identities and yadda yadda, but the tradeoff seems worth it for the simple clarity.  (It's also sort of weird to me that the festival is only one year younger than I am.  1984... that's pretty bold to have a Gay & Lesbian Film Festival then, with AIDS having so recently come out and all.)
Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Film
Don't Go
[IMDb]
6:30 pm
Friday, May 9, 2008

Remis Auditorium

Don't Go by Amber Sharp (2007, 60 min.). Melrose Place meets The L Word meets 227 in this intimate story of the lives and loves of a group of LA friends. Melody and Jaden (Guinevere Turner and Melange Lavonne) are a couple dealing with a surprise pregnancy; Jaden's friend, Bone (Skyler Cooper), has a potentially devastating secret; Shanti (Nisha Ganatra) struggles against her controlling family; Cindy (Janora Mcduffie) tries to balance work while caring for her mother; and Jess (Yaniv Moyal) still grieves the loss of his lover after five years. Preceded by The Insomniacs (Kami Chisolm, 2007, 11 min.). Skyler Cooper seeks late-night comfort. Discussion with director follows screening. Co-presented by Queer Women of Color and Friends Boston (QWOC+ Boston) and The Roxbury Film Festival.
This was a little too melodramatic for me, but I suppose that's kind of what it's billed as.  It's actually a pilot for a tv show, which I hadn't realized.  Read more... )

***

While I was sitting reading, a woman asked if the seats next to me were free and I turned and looked up and said yeah, and the woman asking was Sarah W-W!  She had come with another Smithie (another Sarah, class of '06) and as she was standing she saw another Smithie a few rows back and they chatted a bit.  In talking about area Smithies (she lives in Porter) she mentioned that Becca and Shawn are getting married.

Coming Soon: Girls Rock!, XXY (not part of the festival, but showing at the MFA later in May -- was already on my To See list, and the trailer still makes me wanna see it), The Curiosity of Chance (part of the festival; I had originally had no interest in seeing, but now I do -- which is unfortunate since it's a Sunday night)
Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Film
Butch Jamie
[IMDb]
8:20 pm
Friday, May 9, 2008

Remis Auditorium

Butch Jamie by Michelle Ehlen (2007, 84 min.). A quirky gender-bending comedy about an out-of-work lesbian actor willing to try almost anything for a role. Dressing up as "femme Jamie" for auditions, Jamie Klein (writer/director Michelle Ehlen) continually faces rejection. Frustrated and jealous of the success of her roommate's pet cat/actor, Jamie decides to audition as her true, butch self. When offered a male role, she reluctantly accepts, and begins passing as "male Jamie." The plot thickens as Jamie piques the interest of Jill, a sexy straight woman on the set. Co-presented by MadfFemmePride.
Mistaken identity plotlines are so not my cuppa, but I enjoyed this.  Read more... )

***

Coming Soon: XXY, The Curiosity of Chance
Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Film
Black,White + Grey: A Portrait of Sam Wagstaff and Robert Mapplethorpe
[IMDb]
4:15 pm
Saturday, May 10, 2008

Remis Auditorium

Black, White + Grey: A Portrait of Sam Wagstaff and Robert Mapplethorpe by James Crump (2007, 72 min.). Yale-educated and born into wealth, Sam Wagstaff's transformation from innovative museum curator to Robert Mapplethorpe's lover and patron is explored in Black, White + Gray. During the 1970s and '80s, the New York art scene was abuzz with a new spirit, and Mapplethorpe was at its center. Wagstaff pulled Mapplethorpe from his suburban Queens existence, gave him a camera, and brought him into his world, creating the artist whose infamous images provoked emotions ranging from awe to anger. In turn, Mapplethorpe introduced the starched-shirt Wagstaff to the world of drugs and gay S-and-M. Twenty-five years separated the lovers, but their symbiotic relationship endured throughout their lives.
Um, I don't really have a lot to say about this.  I was coming into it with basically no background, and a lot of it was just about art, but it was definitely interesting.

One unrelated thing which I found interesting was noticing that there are things I have visceral emotional reactions to -- they talked about Wagstaff's background and how he was in the Navy because that's what all people of his generation and class did, and hearing the words "Normandy" and "D-Day" was like this tug at my gut, even though I have no particular interest in WWII.

When Patti Smith said, "Robert was also sick," I realized the two men had AIDS.  The end of the film spoke briefly about how the art world was this very close community and so AIDS went through that community like a fire.  They ran this whole list of people in the art world who died of AIDS, and while I recognized almost no names, I gasped a little at "Alvin Ailey (2002)."

***

Coming Soon: XXY, A Jihad for Love
Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Film
Red Without Blue
[IMDb]
6 pm
Saturday, May 10, 2008

Remis Auditorium

Red Without Blue by Brooke Sebold, Benita Sills, and Todd Sills (2007, 76 min.). A groundbreaking portrayal of gender, identity, and the bond of twinship, this film follows a pair of identical twins as one transitions from male to female. We witness Mark and Claire Farley and their parents over a period of three years, exploring the Farleys' struggle to redefine their family. Preceded by Whatever Suits You by Ashley Altadonna (2006, 7 min.). A suit becomes a dress, a boy becomes a girl, and all is right with the world. Co-presented by Massachusetts Transgender Political Coaltion, GenderCrash, TransCEND, Tiffany Club of New England, and Truth Serum Productions.
I wasn't a huge fan of Whatever Suits You.  The technique of opening with shots of a suit and then having narration over images of someone cutting up and sewing together black cloth and ending with footage of a woman walking outside in a black dress is neat, but I wasn't really enjoying the narrator.  "I can be more sympathetic and nurturing ... adapted to have a more feminine perspective ..." it reminded of of stuff we read in Queer Studies about men who transitioned to women generations ago and were all high femme and their personality totally shifted and that was the way the culture understood it then and I just like so much better the culture we live in now where being female doesn't have to mean being stereotypically feminine.

So I was so very happy when the first shot we saw of the mtf in Red Without Blue she was sitting in a coffee shop or something wearing a regular shirt and pants, obviously having tits, blond hair about shoulder length, not heavily made up or super accessorized.  Clearly female, but not hyper-feminine.  Read more... )
hermionesviolin: ((hidden) wisdom)
Prelude and Silent Meditation

Within the circles of our lives
We dance the circles of the years
The circles of he seasons...

Again, again we come and go,
changed, changing.  Hands join,
join in love and fear, grief and joy.
The circles turn, each giving into each, into all.


Wendell Berry


Second Sunday in Lent: the Nicodemus story )

***

trans study series

We watched some clips from Beautiful Daughters on LOGO -- about the first all transwomen performance of Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues -- which was totally news to me.  I thought of Toby's GenderQueer Monologues The Naked I: Monologues from Beyond the Gender Binary.  [Edit: Checking my tags, apparently I had heard a little about this back in 2005.]

One of the women said: "I live in the Female Zone now.  But you know how people feel about immigrants."

Eve said so many transwomen after their first date with a man after transitioning come back and say, "All men want is sex," and she thinks, "But you were a man.  Why would you want to go on a date with a man, knowing what they're like?" but then she realized that no, "You were never a man.  You were a woman," and she got it.  That was a powerful moment for me, too, because I've thought similar things, and that realization didn't quite click for me until I heard her say it.  (I do think it remains a non-ridiculous criticism to some degree, though, as these people were socialized as men, but yeah.)

There was a clip of a black, Baptist/Pentecostal style preacher (Archbishop Carl Bean) at Unity Fellowship Church in L.A., talking about how God loves everyone and if you need an operation than that's just fine, and the best moment was when he said that God loves homosexuals, bisexuals, heterosexuals, yadda yadda, "all the sexuals."  Marla suggested we include that in our Welcome :)

Valerie Spencer, one of the transwomen, said that she has a penis, but she's still a woman.  "I'm not trapped in a penis' body."

In discussion afterwards, Sean and Marla said that in Iran, for example, as well as some fundamentalist Christians in the U.S., people totally support trans people transitioning -- provided that the end result is a heterosexual person.

Changing the information on one's birth certificate seems so bizarre to me.  I mean, isn't it supposed to be a legal document of who you were at birth?  Shouldn't you be able to change your name and stuff through other legal documentation means?  It also frustrates me that our culture is so stuck on classifying people in gender boxes.  I mean, so long as your driver's license photo looks like you, does it matter which bathroom you choose to use?

At the end, as Sean called us to join hands for a closing prayer, he said, "As Willy would say: "Now let's all touch each other."
hermionesviolin: (light in the darkness)
I was there early, as usual, and I saw Christmas tree lights wrapped around support poles and tacked to the ceiling, and was confused.  Tiffany said it was starry sky in the wilderness.  (The altar drapes were purple.)  She turned down the room lights for the service.

Prelude and Silent Meditation

Desert Prayer by Jan Richardson

I am not asking you to take this wilderness from me,
to remove this place of starkness
where I come to know the wildness within me,
where I learn to call the names of the ravenous beasts
that pace inside me, to finger the brambles
that snake through my veins, to taste the thirst
that tugs at my tongue.

But send me tough angels,
sweet wine, strong bread:

just enough.


Read more... )

***

Joy (who's in a class Marla TA's) brought her friend Dale, who looked really familiar to me, and who thought the same of me, but we couldn't figure out any connection where we might have met before. She went to MHC, '06.

In the kitchen, Dale asked me something like how going to Smith affected my life.  I said it meant I have a lot lower tolerance of liberals.  She was confused.  I started to explain.

Marla said the knee-jerk unthinking. I said yeah, but that for me the big problem was the assumption that we were all left of center and if you weren't then clearly you were evil/stupid/misguided/whatever.

Dale asked so was I a conservative, or did I not pick a label -- I said if pressed to pick a label I choose libertarian, which means nobody likes me :)

Marla said something about how I keep coming back here.  I said I hang out with liberals because they make me less uncomfortable than the conservatives do.  Marla said something about how clearly she hated me.  I said the feeling was mutual, obviously.

[Oh, over dinner, Marla was talking about Romney withdrawal speech where he said if the Democrats win then the terrorists win, and I wanted to interject and explain -- the idea that the Dems are soft on terror so if they're in power the terrorists will gain in strength and so on -- but I didn't.  She also mentioned that Ann Coulter said if McCain gets the Republican nom she's voting for Hillary.  "I want to see her eat crow.  Or eat something.  Like a sandwich."  A couple days later I was reading the most recent Economist, and it explained/had a fuller version of Coulter's remarks -- says she would even prefer Mrs. Clinton in the White House, because "with Hillary, we'll get the same ruinous liberal politics" but Republicans will not be blamed for them.  Which made more sense.]

+

trans study series

Marla opened by reading excerpts from Isaiah 43 (vss. 16-19, I think).  I was really struck by the "I [God] am doing a new thing."  We talked a lot about the death imagery -- how we tend to skip/forget that part when we recall this passage, how in the Red Sea story the Egyptians had a lot of attachment to the old ways and how it can be hard to let go of old ways, how changes can often seem like deaths (e.g. parents feeling like their trans child is dead to them, a trans person feeling like the body-self they were born as is dead after they've transitioned).

We watched the first segment of the documentary Call Me Malcolm.  (Sidebar: I really need to watch Transgeneration, 'cause, Smith.  And Transamerica while I'm at it.)

In the documentary, Pastor Emily talked about the "God created humanity in God's image, male and female" bit in Genesis and said that she thinks transgender persons, with their experience of both male and female, best embody the image of God that is talked about in that verse.  I thought this was really interesting, particularly in contrast to the idea I keep running up against of how do you reconcile being created by God with the idea that the body you were born into is wrong.

Tiffany talked about how transgender is threatening to heteronormative ideas of gender roles.  I said that there's also the reverse reaction -- that especially say 70s feminists often feel that they fought so hard so that you could dress and behave however you wanted, regardless of whether you were male or female, and here are these people saying that to be the people they feel themselves to be they have to be the opposite sex.  I said this is something my mom and I both struggle with, for example, that we both believe people should be free to do whatever they want to their own bodies, but it's hard to wrap our heads around, how they can't be who they are in the bodies they were born into.
me: "We're good liberals."
Will: "Did you just come out?"
me: "Shut up."
Marla: "Her story keeps changing."
me: "My story's always been that if I have to identify I pick Libertarian.  I just don't tell that story much."

We talked some about stereotypes, and Mark said those stereotypes were actually freeing for him, because after he came out he had the freedom to be effeminate, didn't have to.

I think it was Sean who brought up that it's also about how people react to you.  Like say you're walking behind a woman at night and she holds her purse closer to her and whatever, is scared of you, because she perceives you as a man, even though you see yourself as like her, a sister.  (I thought of how Joe -- a tall cisgendered male feminist -- has talked about seeing women he doesn't know and seeing them cross the street to avoid him or whatever and how sad that made him, though of course he understood.)

When we were talking about how issues of being trans include issues about bodies, Tiffany suggested a thought experiment: how would you feel if you woke up tomorrow in the body of the opposite sex?  (I thought of Amy Bloom's invocation of Kafka in the introduction to her book Normal but didn't have a chance to bring it up.)  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a number of people were like, "That would be interesting," rather than having a freak-out reaction.
hermionesviolin: ((hidden) wisdom)
[I started this entry during work today, and it took far too long to finish it tonight.  Sleepytime.]

Because I spend a lot of time hanging out with Methodists nowadays, I'm made particularly aware of what's going on in that denomination.  The newest issue is Drew Phoenix, formerly Ann Gordon, pastor of a Baltimore church.  Tiffany pointed out that across the board, Methodist churches in urban centers are failing, while this pastor has significantly increased both attendance and giving in this Baltimore church.  However, the fact that the pastor transitioned (complete with surgery) ftm is what's getting attention.

Recently Tiffany linked to a sermon on "Marriage, Divorce and Homosexuality."  This pastor has since posted about Drew Phoenix as well (as has Tiffany).

Tiffany's also been crossposting at 7Villages (which I am given to understand is specifically United Methodist), where a lot of more theologically conservative folk have been leaving blog comments.

There's a lot of hostility on both sides, and it makes me uncomfortable.

When I first became aware of transgender issues in college, my immediate reaction was to feel a disconnect between the God of love I believed and the idea that the body one was born with was truly wrong for one.  Though this of course begged the question as to where one draws the line on body modification; plus bodies are in fact often born "wrong" -- e.g., babies with holes in their hearts, cleft palates (which are sometimes "merely" cosmetic but can also be so severe as to interfere with eating).

Stuff like Toby's GenderQueer Monologues helped me grok trans issues a lot better [I also find myself returning to Amy Bloom's Kafka analogy in her book Normal], and I'm a libertarian at heart so on a secular level I definitely endorse people being able to do whatever they want to their own bodies.

However, it's still a very different issue than sexual orientation (though some of the activism legitimately overlaps) so it's troubling to see it all lumped under one umbrella (i.e. "GLBT").  I find this even more troubling in a Christian context where I think one has to do a lot more work (at the very least, different work) to reconcile it.

And while I'm sure a lot of the people who are opposed to Christian churches affirming GLBT folk have a lot of problematic baggage, I do believe that for the most part their opposition is rooted in a sincere belief that theirs is the correct understanding of God's intention for the world -- which is where the liberals are coming from, too, so it makes me sad (and frustrated) that a lot of the reaction from "my side" is along the lines of "You are mean and exclusionary."  Okay, I know I'm being unfair to the current discussion, and my take on this is so tainted by my history with left-right disagreements.  But I'm really sympathetic to the conservatives on this issue, am even sympathetic to the sometimes hostile presentation of those views (though I don't think it's a presentation conducive to dialogue or even of encouraging the other side to even listen to you).  And I'm definitely starting to sound insulting myself (I started to write a sentence about the "self-righteousness" of the left and realized there was no way that was going to end well.), so I'm shutting up and going to bed.

[Sidenote: [livejournal.com profile] xanphibian posted a reminder that if you post a link to something, that can be tracked back to you.  I do understand not wanting trolls on one's journal, and I admit to being weirded out when someone I wasn't expecting to read an entry leaves a comment, but it makes me sad that the world is such that we are so concerned about this, that the default isn't that people engage you in discussion.]

Other interesting thoughts (from my sexual ethics readings):
    A new anthropophagism does not desire God outside of our bodies.  The desire of God is not a spiritual longing, if what we call spiritual has no body.  This desire has to do with concrete bodies with emptied stomachs, with illnesses that are not controlled or cannot be healed, with bodies discarded by government programmes, with bodies abused and battered, enslaved bodies, disfigured bodies, bodies not fully observed, bodies that burn in desire.  Moreover, the desire of God has to do with lack, with the emptiness of our skin, with our search for other bodies, transgressing the norms of what is allowed or permitted as we construe fragmentary notions of love.  Our desire for God has to do with the rubbing of our skin, with the kisses we give, the caresses we receive, with the orgasms we have.
-from "Oh, Que Sera, Que Sera . . . A Limping A/Theological Thought in Brazil" by Claudio Carvalhaes in Liberation Theology and Sexuality, ed. Marcella Althaus-Reid (p. 60)
In his book Body Theology, James B. Nelson posits the statement: "We do not just have bodies, we are bodies" (p. 43).

***

Oy, a quick skim of the flist tells me that the recent murmured worries which were written off as a hoax have resurfaced with a different twist and apparent legitimacy.  I will examine further after some sleep.

Edit: Thank you, [livejournal.com profile] cofax7. "You are not entitled to absolute freedom of speech on the internet."
hermionesviolin: image of a broccoli floret with text "my favorite vegetable is broccoli because it has a STEM AND a BUSH" (broccoli quote from SIKOS 2002)
Discussion on [livejournal.com profile] lunabee34's LJ recently has included (but not been limited to) realism of sex activities in fanfic (esp. threesomes), gender-neutral pronouns and trans identity more generally, and lesbian erotica.

And [livejournal.com profile] eard_stapa has been posting (flocked) about misperceptions surrounding bisexuals, with emphasis on online dating sites. [Edit: It occurs to me that I can post links to the stuff she was reacting to, so for interested parties: this lj thread and this article.]

Oh, and [livejournal.com profile] thistlerose has been talking about Jem fic, which of course leads to thoughts of other childhood girllove (in this case, BSC, though there are plenty of tv options if one were so inclined). [Amusingly, the post above that on my flist was a flocked post mentioning a BSC Little Sister f/f plotbunny.]

And not about sex [or is it?]: Ari, [livejournal.com profile] antheia's getting rid of some LMA and LMM books. Thought you might be interested.
hermionesviolin: image of a broccoli floret with text "my favorite vegetable is broccoli because it has a STEM AND a BUSH" (broccoli quote from SIKOS 2002)
The panel discussion (and accompanying Q&A) on feminism and transgender was mostly people agreeing with each other, but then again, who’s gonna stand up at Smith and say stuff that could be interpreted as transphobic? Though if that were really true, tomorrow’s debate at Senate wouldn’t be happening.

I liked Stacey-whoselastnameididn’tcatch (and who is possibly the first trans-woman ever to be invited to speak at Smith) the best of the panelists (in large part because she said things i hadn’t already heard before).

In her opening she talked about feminism necessarily being a reaction to patriarchy, since in a world without patriarchy “feminism” would just mean something like “promotion of the feminine.” And patriarchy is all about hierarchy, about one group having control over another (“and not in a safe, sane, consensual, manner” *g*). It’s about purity and boundaries, so if feminism is in opposition to patriarchy, it must be in opposition to hierarchy and boundaries and suchlike.

She said at Camp Trans one year, one very loud and angry MichiganFest woman asked them not to film her, and Stacey asked “Are you not proud of your opinion?” and the woman replied “Well, yes, I think I am. But I don’t know how I’ll feel in 10 years, and I don’t want this in the Lesbian Herstory Archives.” I am all about owning what you say, but i am so impressed that this woman realized that her opinions might well change, and have a lot of respect for her for that.

Stacey said that various trans-women have told her trans-women are less welcome at Smith than non-trans-men. She said it doesn’t matter if that’s true, what matters is that a lot of trans-women feel that way, and that’s something we at Smith really need to think about. (She also pointed out that the term “biological woman” is problematic since what is she, made out of plastic? Certainly she’s biological.)

Talking about just what is “man” or “woman,” Stacey said “I have a piece of paper saying I’m diagnosably confused about this issue” :)

She said that many times the issue is not what is the answer, but why do we ask the question?

“The time you spend worrying about what other people think about you is deducted from your time in Heaven -- and more importantly, from your time on Earth. ... I care about how people treat me. ... I don’t care how sincere you are, just let me in.” -Stacey

Stacey talked a lot about intention. She said discrimination is like fire: it is both good and dangerous, and should be treated with caution. So if you’re making an exclusive space, that can be a very good thing, but think about why you’re doing it, and make sure that it really is a good thing.

The bathroom issue came up (women feeling unsafe with men in the same bathroom with them), and Mitch pointed out that rapists are not gonna stay out just because there’s a Female sign on the bathroom (though it occurred to me later, that it’s much harder to sneak into a public restroom when you look like you don’t belong -- an obvious male, for example -- than when you can pass as belong, so there is some grounds for the fear of rape -- though really, how many trans-women are gonna rape someone in a public restroom? how many male rapists are gonna dress up as women in order to rape someone in a public restroom?). An audience member said that she works with an organization that helps GLBT folk who are recovering from domestic violence, so even in a same-sex environment, you are not necessarily in a “safe space.”

Jennifer Walters talked about the opportunity to be “whole” (as in, the opportunity she finds single-sex institutions provide for many people) and later an audience member pointed out the classism etc. that exists at Smith, and of course that’s true, but being me my immediate thought at Jennifer Walters’ statement was “If you are a conservative at Smith, you do not get to be a whole person, not without struggle anyway.”

Walking with H. afterwards, i mentioned the fact that i’m really not committed to the idea of single-sex education. She said she’s never understood why i’m at Smith if i feel like that. (And it honestly isn’t because i like to be a pain in the ass. I was far less obnoxious in high school than i am now, in fact.) My best friend in high school and i both applied Early Decision to colleges that happened to be single-sex institutions, but we were both rather indifferent to that fact. We loved our colleges of choice for many reasons, and the gender makeup was incidental. So i often forget that it’s anomalous to be at such an institution and not be all gung-ho about that aspect of institutions. Am i really the only Smithie who feels this way? I’m not saying Smith should go co-ed, of course. The single-sex aspect is obviously of great value to many people, and i don’t think i wanna say that their arguments are the suck (though i think that the fact that you aren’t allowed to have all-male institutions is rather unfair, though i understand the arguments -- i need to read the full text of Title IX at some point).

Talking about my applying to Smith, H. said “You weren’t queer then,” and of course that’s a deeply offensive statement, but i didn’t even realize that until she said “Wow, that was offensive” because of course i knew what she meant. And in a sense she was right, since while in retrospect i can trace self-queerness back to at least 7th grade, i didn’t realize i was queer until midway through my senior year of high school.

I actually can’t remember if i knew Smith was Home of The Gay when i applied. (I have an amazing ability to live under a rock.) I remember that it seemed like every adult i mentioned Smith to either had never heard of it or had some friend or relation who had graduated from it and loved it, but i don’t think anyone mentioned teh gay, even Mrs. Flemer (whose daughter was Smith ‘03 and who talked a lot about Smith to me my last year in high school). I don’t remember being surprised by teh gay when i got here, either, though.
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
A friend and i were talking a few weeks ago, about how some people really want to be able to put everyone into boxes. I thought later that i like the imagery of labels, like bumper stickers on one’s car, only these are labels one wears oneself. And you can choose which ones you wanna reveal (like shifting one’s clothes to conceal/reveal tattooes).

But anyway, what we actually talked about was transgenderism. Both our moms have problems with the idea, because they come from an era of feminism which asserted that people of either sex could have masculine or feminine characteristics. I have difficulty with it conceptually as well, but being here, i’m just like “okay.” For example, my parents and i went to the LBTA panel on Parents Weekend and Lee talked about “failing at being a girl,” but my mom and i often feel like we “fail at being girls” in many of the stereotypical senses. So how does one distinguish between not fitting into the gender stereotypes and actually feeling that one is in the wrong body? We didn’t have any answers. I brought up the concept of “transgressive exceptionalism” which i learned of in Queer Studies last year, the idea of identifying as “trans” just because “you’re so unique they don’t even have a name for you,” and how inclusionary terms like “queer” can become problematic when they become so “baggy” that they cease to mean anything. My friend said that there are some people who are just doing it to be cool or whatever, but there are some people who are real. I read Amy Bloom’s Normal today, and while it doesn’t really provide any answers, besides that one just knows, i really liked this passage which opens her essay “The Body Lies”:
What would you go through to not have to live the life of Kafka’s Gregor Samsa? Not to realize, early in childhood, that other people perceive a slight, unmistakable bugginess about you, which you find horrifying but they claim to find unremarkable? That glimpses of yourself in the mirror are upsetting and puzzling and to be avoided, since they show a self that is not you? That although you can ignore your shell much of the time and your playmates often seem to see you and not your cockroach exterior, teachers and relatives pluck playfully at your antennae with increasing frequency and suggest, not unkindly, that you might be more comfortable with the other insects? And when you say, or cry, that you are not a cockroach, your parents are sad, or concerned, or annoyed, but unwavering in their conviction—how could it be otherwise?—that you are a cockroach, and are becoming more cockroachlike every day. Would you hesitate to pay thirty thousand dollars and experience some sharp but passing physical misery in order to be returned to your own dear, soft, skin-covered self?

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hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (Default)
Elizabeth (the delinquent, ecumenical)

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