burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

I was walking to the library this morning and glanced down at my dark skirt swirling around my ankles and my black square-toed boots and felt like I had seen that exact image before, somewhere in the Jossverse.  I figured it had to be Willow and eventually decided on OMWF (when they're all marching together).  I felt certain I was recalling the image from someone's LJ icon, and as I struggled to recall it ('cause I couldn't rewatch the ep until I got home, so why not obsess?) I realized that no, it's River on Miranda.

I ended up taking the 3:05 rather than the 5:05 'cause Terry had actual work to do and I had a party to prep for.  This meant I got to stop at Tags and get a window fan.  I was v. sweaty from the walk when I got home, but the house was remarkably not miserable at all.

The skirt has a slip built in and I managed to rip both the slip and the exterior skirt in crawling on my bed to put in the window fan and clamoring on a chair to move glasses in the kitchen cabinet.  I couldn't find my shorts and wanted a skirt that was loose and comfortable, so I ended up grabbing the sparkly dark blue dress I wore to seminary prom off of my to-be-handwashed pile.

I bought groceries, washed dishes, and started attacking my disaster of a room.  Then people started showing up.  We ordered from Dial-a-Pizza (large Mediterranean, and at the end there were only 3 slices left) and when the pizza arrived I realized I had lost my purse.  (I did find it after everyone had gone home and I was putting my room back together.)  Thankfully, Jess spotted me the money.

At least two people today commented on my "Harry Potter" earrings.  They're my $6.95 Newbury Comics earrings, and it had never occurred to me before today to see lightning bolts and think Harry Potter (though yes obviously once it was mentioned I immediately knew the connection).

We watched Life of Brian -- which I had never seen before.  It makes a lot of good points, and I definitely laughed a number of times (though this DVD didn't have subtitles, so especially with all the accents I definitely wasn't getting it all), but on the whole I just enjoyed Holy Grail so much more.

James: Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say.
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."
-Sliding Doors

P.S. Am still figuring out what I'm doing for Pride.  What's this I hear about mud wrestling in a previous year?

Wednesday

I dreamed that I talked with Joe about Mardi Gras and Lent.  And that pardalis05 called.  Gee, do we think I miss people?

Then on the Red Line that morning a girl asked me if I'd gone to Smith.  I didn't recognize her, but we probably had class or something together at one point. She was a Skarda advisee but not a groupie. Now working in the Kendall area.

Florian gave Amanda and I Lindor chocolates.  And the orange wrapped one turned out to be peanut butter.  Yum!

On the Red Line home I saw a woman with an HBS Exec Ed bag and a dark ash smudge on her forehead.  She was the only ashed person I saw all day.

Going back and tagging entries, December 2002 I was watching Ice Wars.  Who knew?  I remember seeing ads for ice skating events in TVGuide when I was in high school or whatever and not watching them 'cause I didn't have time, so I just assumed I'd stopped watching all together.

My mom was watching these performance feedback videos for work and zomg, make my brain bleed.
The employee gets difficult-to-read information from sales reps and so she guesses as to the numbers for the purchase orders because she doesn't wanna bother the sales reps (plus it slows down her process since she often gets their voicemail).  And when she gets their voicemail she just leaves her name and number.  That was the killer for me.  Who doesn't know to leave a detailed message with the reason for your call?  [I know it's a scripted scenario, but you only include things you think might actually happen.]  Even when I called friends when I was in high school or whatever I would say why I was calling (just to say hi, question about homework, whatever).

Midday ABCNews: 1 in 5 could name all 5 members of the Simpsons.  Only 1 in 1000 could name all 5 freedoms enumerated in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.
My reaction: Come on, who remembers freedom to petition?  Press and peaceable assembly maybe.  But basically everyone knows speech and religion, and everything else kinda comes under that umbrella anyway.
Later my dad told me about Dale Carpenter further problematizing it.

Assorted Millionaire questions for you:

Before Alaska and Hawaii in 1959, the last state to join the Union was:
+ Montana
+ Arizona
+ New Mexico
+ Utah
( Answer )

First baseball game broadcast on tv was:
+ Syracuse-Ithaca
+ Ohio-Penn State
+ Harvard-Yale
+ Princeton-Columbia
( Answer )
I enjoyed that Mary Alice and I both had the same random guess before they listed the answers -- Red Sox-Yankees :)

Oprah premiered in 1986 (!) with the following topic:
+ celebrating teachers
+ finding the right person to marry
+ loving your body
+ moms who do it all
( Answer )


Thursday

Amanda called a theatre in Arlington and its automated menu had showtimes "through Feb. 30" (theatres do Thursday-Thursday schedules).

Searching for contact info [name, title, address, phone, e-mail] for profs was way more difficult than it should have been. Boo on unhelpful university faculty pages.

Prof.D: "Do I really have to reformat my whole CV?"
Prof.B: "No.  You get your assistant to do it."
Me, who supports both of them: [something like, "Gee, thanks."]
Prof.B: "Yeah, I knew you'd love that."

carpdeus and I on the Monty Python's Flying Circus "Spam" sketch.

Friday

Reformatting Prof.D's CV I decided I needed background music to sustain me, so I did Yahoo!LaunchCast.  Apparently the majority of my musical taste is "Adult Alternative," which I suppose isn't all that surprising.

'Twas amusing seeing why it played certain songs.

+ "Flake" by Jack Johnson [Reason: Recommended by fans of Coldplay]
+ "Insensitive" by Jann Arden [Reason played: Recommended by fans of Matchbox Twenty // Genres: Soft Pop, Adult Alternative ]
+ "Ordinary Day" by Vanessa Carlton [Reason played: Recommended by fans of Evanescence ]

I've heard "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child a lot before, but listening to the words this time I couldn't help thinking of "Don't Ever Call Your Sweetheart By His Name" by Christine Lavin.


I had a Huntington mailing waiting for me when I got home. 
+ Breaking Ground Festival of New Play Readings: April 6-9 [That's a Thurs-Sun.] at the Calderwood

The flyer had blurbs about 4 of them.
+ Kind Hearts and Coronets, which movie I swear Emma has mentioned to me a million times. (This version is a musical; book by Robert L. Friedman, music by Steven Lutvak, lyrics by Robert L. Friedman and Stevenm Lutvak)
+ Persephone (Noah Haidle) "Guiseppe is trying to carve an image of the Greek goddess Demeter from an unyielding block of marble --- she's the love of his life. But relationships are always hard, especially when stretched over centuries."
+ Property -- based on the Valerie Martin author also of Mary Reilly, for you Skarda Telling & Retelling folk novel I read in UMass Brave New Worlds class.  I'm undecided as to whether I actually wanna see this play.
+ Voyeurs de Venus (Huntington Playwrighting Fellow, Lydia Diamond) -- "Sara, a black scholar specializing in pop culture, is writing a book (or, trying to) about Saartjie Bartmaan, known derogatorily as the Hottentot Venus. Sara's own issues of racial identity emerge as she struggles to recount Saartjie's life for a largely white audience. All the while, Sara navigates a minefield of personal intimacies between her husband and lover. Past and present merge as their stories collide in this piercing drama."

Saturday

Went grocery shopping with my mom and picking up a box of Always cleanweave my mom initially thought it said cleavage *g*

On a whim we purchased this.

Stacie Clayton performs at Singspiration a lot, and tonight they sponsored a concert by the Community Gospel Choir (which she directs).  There were five little girls -- three in black with dashiki print sashes and two in gypsy/pirate type white blouses.  The adult performers were all in black, women in dashiki print stoles and men in orange ties.

(It felt a little bit odd to schedule a "We Shall Come Rejoicing" concert for the first Saturday in Lent. My mom wondered if perhaps they could take the giant, brightly colored, "King of Kings" and "Lord of Lords" banners down from the front of the church for Lent. Did we mention I come from a church that really isn't very liturgical calendar oriented? :) )

They opened with a reading of Revelation 7:9-17 and JoeF read it I don't know where from but not the front of the sanctuary though they had the sound wired so that's where it came out. Very nice.

I actually wasn't all that taken with most of the concert. The spiritual "Hold on," with its line "Keep your hand on the plow" was very powerful, though. And I really liked "Le Lo le lo lay lo" (William Loperana, Puerto Rico) -- text from the Sanctus (Heaven and earth are full of your glory ... Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord ... etc.) Also ♥ the male soloist on that one. He reminded me of Chris Dalton.

Saw JoeF briefly afterward. He asked me "what world [I was] going to conquer next." I literally threw my head back and laughed (okay, that was partly because my mouth was full). He knows I'm a writer (he is, too) but it's not like I wrote much of substance for the Times, and my writing for the Bulletin was Letter(s) to the Editor articulating views I'm fairly certain he disagrees with. And yet he thinks very highly of me. About the world conquering he said something like "I have no doubt that you will." So hey, I'll take it.

So, it wasn't until i'd taken a nap that it dawned on me that i had handed in my last undergraduate paper ever.  Weirdness.

Of course, now i feel like i'm all done, but i do in fact have one exam left.  I cannot dissolve into fanfic and reading all the non-LRRH stories in the collections i have out from the library just yet.  (I am also definitely behind on reading all the interesting links in recent su_herald and metafandom posts.)

Friday i handed in a bunch of things, had ice cream at Chapin lawn, and then more foodage at the Alumnae House.  Wow the percentage of seniors i didn't recognize at all.  Apparently my graduating class is 734.  *boggles*  Emma and i talked about how while i enjoy the lovely weather, i tend to not be seasonal affective and the weather that really gets me excited is the snow and the bitter cold.  Insert parallel to my enjoyment of rip-your-heart-out-and-step-on-it fic here.  That night, i went to the MFA dance concert, which i left early to attend the one-acts, the last of which was Rocky Horror does Russian lit (based on short story "A Feast at Countess Kotlubay's" by Witold Gombrowicz, adapted by Michael Hackett and Anna Krajewska-Wieczorek) which was so worth going for (though the other two plays were certainly good as well).  Then i came home and went to Emma's room where we watched some Monty Python including the "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay" sketch, followed by Vampire Hunter D: Blood Lust.

After that, the seminar paper pretty much owned me all weekend.  And i did fun things like sleep through brunch both days, so i really didn't see people (so not intentional).

I did go to the end-of-year department party on Monday, though.

I bumped into one of the SCMA guards on my way there, and she was advice-ful re: massage therapy programs.  Apparently there are some good local programs.  Much though i would love to return to the Valley, that would require income to pay rent, so i think i'm gonna focus on Boston area (read: commutable to from my parents' house) programs.

(A friend's away message: "I am doing work for finals. Come rescue me. I am willing to trade sexual favors for a really killer back rub. If there is a lack of shirts and lotion involved, I'll consider indentured servitude.")

So many spawnlets.  And they all seem to be friends with each other, which is sweet.  Floyd's daughter Clare is so maternal big sisterly with her little brother.  And mt's eldest looks so grown up, though the twins still bond to his hip.

A trio of spawnlets were on one of the couches behind the band.  mt said they were "the Pips and the Supremes," and Aex said, "they've figured out that all they have to do is sit there and they just radiate."

c.christ was there for at least some of the performance, but this totally didn't mean the performace was any less crazy than usual.  "Wild thing, I think I love you... wild thing, I think you move me, but I want to know for sure; come on and squeeze me... wild thing, I think you move me, but I want to know for sure; come on and, do things I can't say in front of the kids."

And by request they did  "Don't Stop Believing."  I watched the audience more this time than i usually do at their performances -- in part because of my position on the side of the room.  Luc's babe is so in training to be a rockstar.

The musical stylings of their performances can basically be described as "really loud," but i so enjoy watching them.

I wore my new dept. t-shirt over my NaNoWriMo 2002 baseball tee, and at least 2 people wanted a t-shirt (though Auden Thesis told Gorra she wasn't a fan) and when i went to Bobbie's office around 2pm she said she'd already had 4 non-seniors come by wanting one.  (For you non-seniors: stop by her office on Thursday or Friday to get one.)
I don't know what a better slogan would be -- and honestly i don't care.  (Though i was thinking about how an old one was a Wordsworth pun and was reminded of "Get her words out," which of course sounds so dirty to me now thanks to Amy Foxlet.)

Props to Gorra for ordering 2 sets of food so everyone was well-fed.  No props to the clump of 3 girls who had to be told individually that no, we were not opening the food until the band was done playing.

Alex has a pink snakeskin flask.  She said it had vodka, for her and Steve 'cause they don't drink beer.  Gorra brought them 4 times as much beer as they usually get, so they were sharing with assorted adults.  I stayed to help clean up, and there was beer left over, so i snagged a Sam Adams (Seasonal Brew) White Ale.  Craig didn't ask me if i was 21 until he was actually opening it for me.  I felt so frat boy walking around with my beer bottle.

I have officially made it through 4 years (8 semesters) at Smith without ever participating in Primal Scream.  I just never feel that stressed at the time of Primal Scream, plus screaming doesn't feel cathartic to me the way other things do.

---

Notes from seminar paper writing:

Jeff VanderMeer is stupid sometimes.  Of The Bloody Chamber, he writes: "The title story is probably among the most textually complex takes on Bluebeard, but to what effect? Nothing comes of it because, unlike the other stories, it adds nothing new to the original except ( spoiler for ending )" and doesn't say anything about "The Courtship of Mr. Lyon," which i think of all the tales in the collection adds the least to the original.

And Chase and Teasley are on shaky ground with their arguments in "Little Red Riding Hood: Werewolf and Prostitute" (Historian, Summer95).

But you can't beat Barbara G. Walker's Feminist Fairy Tales.  It had Emma defending aspects of Christianity.  The Publishers Weekly review made me want to cry (in that i now have difficulty mustering any respect for Publishers Weekly).

Latest IMDb timewaster: You know how the first line under a movie is Genre? (Vampire Hunter D has 9)  Well if you click on "(more)" you get plot keywords, which are not only at times amusing but are all links, so you can learn weep-inducing things like that "based-on-book" gets 2609 matches, and amusing things like that "vampire-slayer" gets 62 and "vampire-human-love" gets 9 (none of which are Whedon, though he tops the -- alphabetical list -- for "vampire-slayer") and that only 54 titles have "poetic-justice" as a keyword...  How do they pick these keywords anyway?  My favorites from Whedon's shows are: BtVS: bleach blond, Firefly: nose bleeding, Angel: homosexual demon.

Clint Mansell's "Requiem for a Dream" ("Power Play" vid)?  Not sure how i feel about that as music-to-write-papers by.  (At least it was a better choice Inara vid to Patty Griffin's "May" which i did last semester and which made me cry.)

The research for my LRRH seminar paper was rather more fun than the writing of it but if you wanna read it, lemme know.  (Obvious warning:  it spoils major plot points for, well, every work cited.)  I'm e-mailing copies to 4 people at last count.

Why doesn't Little Red Riding Hood run away from the wolf right away?  Not only does she stop and talk with him, even giving him information about her destination, but she seems not to recognize him in her grandmother's bed.  Many modern retellings offer sexual motivations as an answer to this question, picking up themes that are latent in the traditional versions-although they are more explicit in some less well-known early versions.  This paper will examine LRRH as a willing participant in an assortment of tellings and retellings of this tale.

---

Going through the stuff i have in my room and am not keen to take with me.  I forgot i had chalk.  Anyone want that?  I should also probably give someone my white-board, huh?  I also still have my Pooh poster and my Buffy poster and about a billion novels.

I love the responses people gave to my "So, your date wants to make porn" poll.