hermionesviolin: (light in the darkness)
Sun. Dec. 2, 2012

Last night I read the d'var Torah that Velveteen Rabbi offered that morning at her shul on this week's parsha, "Vayishlach."

She talks about Jacob wrestling with the angel and says:
Having received a new name, Jacob bestows a new name: he names that place, that bend in the river, Peni'el, literally "the face of God," saying, "For I have seen God face-to-face, yet my life has been spared."
(which is really interesting in and of itself, given the multi-vocality of Scripture on seeing the face of God -- e.g., God to Moses in Exodus 33:20 "you cannot see my face; for no one shall see me and live.") and then talks about Jacob's encounter with Esau, where he says:
No, please, if I have truly found favor in your sight, take the offering from my hand; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God.
She closes with the bit from the Talmud about each individual human being being created in the image of God but each of us are unique -- unlike identical imperial coins each stamped with the mark of the secular leader.

This all seemed quite a lovely connection to Molly's "Light Gets In" Advent theme. But then she closes the post with her 70 Faces Torah poem on this parsha, which ends with such a downer:
For one impossible moment Jacob reached out.
To see your face, he said, is like seeing
the face of God: brother, it is so good!

But when Esau replied, let us journey together
from this day forward as we have never done
and I will proceed at your pace, Jacob demurred.

The children are frail, and the flocks:
you go on ahead, he said, and I will follow
but he did not follow.

Once Esau headed out toward Seir
Jacob went the other way, to Shechem, where
his sons would slaughter an entire village.

And again the possibility
of inhabiting a different kind of story
vanished into the unforgiving air.
***
The theme for this year’s Advent is Light Gets In. No matter what walls we throw up, what boxes we climb in or that circumstances put us in—Light gets in. Light will have its way.

This Sunday in worship, I’ll be preaching on the walls humans throw up that block out Christ’s light. We’ll begin building an actual wall in the sanctuary, that will grow each week up until Christmas Eve, when the Light will get in. Will you bring cardboard boxes to church anytime you show up, and leave them on the chancel, and help us duct-tape them together to build our Babel-wall up toward heaven and obscure the cross?

-Molly in This Week at First Church
To my mind, Advent is about the light slowly breaking in (we light first one candle and then a second, and so on), so I don't love this theme.

(The Meditation in the bulletin was Robert Frost's "Mending Wall," so of course I was trying to remember what mt said about that poem. Allie?)

+

Pre-service lectio divina happened in the Parlor, and as a result we could hear the pre-service choir rehearsal. I heard "Emmanuel, Expected Jesus," and fell into Advent.

...

To my surprise, 9am lectio divina was not just me and the facilitator (Bobby); Tom arrived before I did, and Leigh came a little late.

We did Luke 1:5-25.

I was struck by Gabriel's statement, "I stand in the presence of God."

(The second round, when I read, I was struck by the piece about Zechariah being overcome by fear -- because of Reasons. And the third round, nothing struck me.)

+

Before service, I picked up a hardcopy of Molly's Advent calendar.
December 2
First Sunday in Advent: Put on your sparkle cream. Glow.
+
Unison Prayer of Confession

Light-Bringer,

We offer you our repentance.
We replace holy days with holidays.
We hurry past opportunities to give the gifts of kindness and honesty.
We do not listen to angels in our dreams, forgive those dearest to us,
Or welcome into hearts and homes, the poor and the stranger.
If all sin is separation, forgive us for all the walls we throw up, and let your Light in.

-Maren Tirabassi, adapted
...

Molly preached on Jeremiah 33:14-16 -- and her Advent theme of walls and also touched on the theme of Recovery (it being a first Sunday of the month -- no, I had not realized we were continuing this theme after we'd been through the 12 Steps).

She opened with talking about Israel and Palestine, but also talked about other walls -- the Mexico/USA border, gated communities (Trayvon Martin), and other walls we erect. She talked about healthy boundaries -- "calm contact works better than walls."

She said that contrary to popular belief, prophets don't tell the future -- they tell the present.

She said, "our God is not a safe God," which of course reminded me of "Aslan is not a tame lion."

She said God "doesn't call us to safety but to radical love."

...

During Prayers of the People, Missy lifted up prayers "for all those who feel restricted by the gender binary." ♥

At Coffee Hour, Jonathan told me about Tufts' Hamlet the Hip Hopera, which Cate and I tragically missed out on in our attend ALL the Shakespeare.

FCS does a thing where you can pick a kid's name out of a hat and buy them a gift. Harold said that one of his friends at another church got a 10-year-old boy and she only daughters, so she asked what 10-year-old boys like. Harold's response: "When I was a ten-year-old boy, I liked Wonder Woman. Hope this helps." ♥ (And it's trufax. I mean, he also liked e.g. dinosaurs, but this makes it no less trufax.)

+

Jamie facilitated an Advent Devotional Workshop, which I attended.

I was starting to investigate the art supplies when the horde of kids who had been playing war or something all came in and decided to do art (well, Simon was like, "Guys, can't we go back to what we were doing before?" and got ignored by all the kids wrapped up in doing art, so he compromised by making pictures of e.g. ninjas) so I stepped back from the chaos and worked on poetry.

Sue D., to her husband, later: "I was looking for the kids, and I found a craft fair, so I sat down."

Having ~skipped class last week and the next two sessions being review for the final and me being so checked out, I had been undecided about whether I wanted to bother going to the remaining class sessions, and in the Parlor this afternoon I definitely felt like I wanted to go to Art Night.

...

Brandon asked if I'd seen Tongues United, apropos of World AIDS Day. I had not, but given that we barely acknowledged World AIDS Day at church (though in her sermon, Molly told a story she had recently learned of 25 years ago, when there was still so much fear and unknowing, this church volunteering to be the church to host a healing service) I loved that he brought it up.

He also talked about Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence (Christmas movie, what? see also: Batman Returns), The Avengers, and The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (which fandom has been expecting for 5 years).

***

I really liked the Call to Worship we used at CWM tonight:
[One] How shall we prepare God's house for the coming of the Promised One?
[Many] With fragrant branches of cedar, the tree of excellence and strength.
[One] How shall we prepare God's house for the Christ child?
[Many] With a stable and a manger where in the weeks to come, the mystery of the Advent story will be revealed and where the entire creation will welcome the Promised One.
[One] How shall we prepare God's house for Emmanuel, God with us?
[Many] With garlands of pine and fir, whose leaves are ever living, ever green -- symbols of our faith in the living God.
[One] How shall we prepare God's house for the prophet of Galilee?
[Many] With sprigs of holly and ivy, telling of Jesus' faithfulness, even unto death and resurrection.
[One] How shall we prepare our hearts for this revelation of God?
[Many] By hearing again the words of the prophets, the stories of the ancestors of Jesus, and the promises of God.
[One] For in the story of Jesus we see revealed the transforming power of God, and we are reminded anew of God's vision of wholeness, justice, and peace for all creation.
[Many] Thanks be to God!
...

Marla preached on Isaiah 11:1-9 and 1 Samuel 16:1-13. I was mostly meh, but she closed with talking about the fact that we ignore the parts of the Biblical stories that don't seem "proper" or "dignified" and inviting us to think about, if Jesus were to come as a baby a second time, what unexpected places that baby might show up in -- and her shocker suggestion was: born to a Wall Street executive (I thought of the Buddha).

***

At 8-something this morning, it was 32F and a predicted high of 59F. I wore my sparkly purple short-sleeve shirt, because when am I gonna get to wear short sleeves during Advent? Except I basically never took my hoodie off. (Though Jeff B. did ask me whether an email had gone out about wearing purple or if we just knew 'cause Advent. I said I'd worn purple for Advent because I do and it's not like one is required to match the paraments or anything.)

After I left morning church after 1pm, I went to Trader Joe's and it was hazy and still hoodie+gloves weather.

When I left evening church at 6:30 or whatever, it seemed to have rained recently (20% chance of precipitation, this morning's forecast said) and now, hours after sunset, it felt warmer than it had all day.

Weather, what is it?

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-[livejournal.com profile] mylittleredgirl [more info]
Hail full of grace, the Lord is with you
Worlds without end depend on you
Bless'd is the one whom you bring forth
Whom no one else can bring
-"Say Yes," Bob Franke
joy sadhana )
hermionesviolin: (light in the darkness)
People keep saying "Happy New Year," which continues to throw me.  It threw me when people said it at church on Sunday, when the flight crew said it today, and when coworkers said it today -- though today actually makes sense because I haven't seen these people since 2008.

I didn't really wanna go to work this morning, but I went to the gym* (duh), changed into my bright red sparkly button-down shirt and sadly-pocket-less grey slacks, returned my loaner laptop, got some breakfast (I was not gonna pick up milk on my way home last night, so no cereal for me this morning), and booted up my computer.  I'd been keeping an eye on my work email all through the break -- though admittedly ignoring anything that didn't look related to SF -- and by like midafternoon I was in a good, accomplishing, liking my job, mood.  And I only had to tell the story of "the fuckup that ruined Saturday" (though I was more subdued than that in sketching what had happened) a few times.

* gym )

In between work stuff, I messaged various people about plans and felt all excited and happy in that way that the prospect of social interaction makes me in the best of times.

MaryAlice said she'd gotten a Paperwhite and asked, "Is that the same as narcissus?  [off my look]  You don't know, but you'll look it up."  I laughed.  (And she was right.)

Katie had not actually left when I went by her desk at the end of the workday, so we actually got to walk home together.  I can't tell you the last time that happened.  She was gonna come back from Maine the Monday after Christmas but ended up staying through New Year's -- which given how my week played out was actually fine.  But we are maybe having dinner on Friday.  We were both really glad to see each other again, and when we parted she initiated a hug.

I stopped by Alexander's (corner store) on the way home to pick up milk, and they had good bananas, so I picked up some of those as well.

I came home, and my housemate said, "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is that you have a package on the kitchen table; the bad news is that the oil bill came."  (Though the oil bill really wasn't bad.)  I was confused as to why I had a package, and then I picked it up and saw the return address and remembered.

From our chat on Mon, 12/15/08:
mjules (4:57 PM):  Dishes are washed, the rest of the holiday cards are all set up to address and go. (I mailed several today. Yours was not among them because a small package is accompanying yours.)
Elizabeth (4:58 PM):  I get a package? Aww.
mjules (4:58 PM):  Nothing terribly ground breaking, but it reminded me a bit of you. It will likely end up being something that just clutters up your house/desk.
mjules (4:59 PM):  *grin*
Elizabeth (4:59 PM):  *laughs*


The card (and inside message) is beautiful, and the gift is a Books-a-Million Book Lover's 2009 Calendar -- which purpose, according to the package, is providing a book recommendation each day ... so, not useless, and will only clutter up my space temporarily :)

And la bff is safely arrived home.

***

[on the lj-pocalypse] While I dislike the lack of severance pay, I am not actually concerned that this signals the eminent demise of LJ.  Though backups are always a good idea (see here, for example, for various options).

***

I've heard about [livejournal.com profile] saveours00j (mostly from having [livejournal.com profile] yuki_onna on StalkerPin) but hadn't really looked at it.  This evening, my housemate told me they were selling a limited edition anthology (literally, they will stop selling it once expenses are met) with contributions from Neil Gaiman, Francesca Lia Block, and Catherynne M. Valente, among others, and that I should buy one because she'd already donated money and so didn't have the budget to buy one but if I bought one then she could read it after I was done :)  [Comments in the post mention that some of the contributions, like the Gaiman, are reprints, but I still ordered a copy.]  Later, yuki_onna posted about it.  She mentioned that the anthology comes out on s00j's birthday and said, "can you even imagine an anthology for your birthday? One that will heal you and make you whole? I cannot begin. "

***

Gaza can has truce?  Only a proposal right now, so it is arguably the sort of news that isn't, but still.
hermionesviolin: 3 saguaro cacti silhouetted against an orange sunset, with the yellow sun setting behind one of them (summer)
NYT outside my door this morning, headline "Israeli Tanks and Troops Launch Attack on Gaza." It was only then that I connected the protests I've been seeing here with my awareness of what's been going on internationally. Yeah, I'm slow sometimes. It just seemed so natural for people to be protesting Israeli's part in the Israel-Palestine conflict that it didn't occur to me until just now that, oh, yes, there's a particular impetus in this moment.
hermionesviolin: image of Buffy in the desert in "Restless" with text "small girl in a big girl world" (small girl in big world [_extraflamey_])
I am not feeling up to going clubbing -- especially since that would likely involve heading down to the Castro or out to Berkeley -- and I'm not sure what else one does on one's own in SF at 7pm on a Friday night after one has had dinner and wandered around to the limits of one's confidence in one's ability to make one's way home without poring over a map. (I had a map, or several, I just wanted to work on developing a feel for the area.) I feel like I'm squandering my limited time here, but it's not like I'll never be back. (It's funny, I am all about doing stuff on my own, but more than scared by all the unmonied people-of-color, I was bored just walking around.)

I walked down Ellis into the Tenderloin, and on my right was the giant Hilton (conference headquarters), and on my left was "Adults * Books * Videos" and "Liquor Mini-Mart." I saw a lot of Money Marts with signs saying "Payday Loans * Checks Cashed * Western Union." Eventually it started getting kinda boring and I turned down Leavenworth to head back to Market Street. On the last cross street before United Nations Park, I saw a place where I could get a burrito, which was pretty much what I was in the mood for.

Tequila Castillo -- which is apparently a chain? 'cause I saw another one when I was returning on Market Street. I ordered a Vegetarian Burrito (as did almost everyone who came in after me; I was pleased) and got exactly what I wanted (much like the burritos I get at Qdoba) and they don't have guacamole but scoop avocado right into your burrito; yum. I ordered orange juice, and this woman actually put umpteen freshly-halved oranges into a juicer. Literally freshly-squeezed orange juice = OMG good.

These three women walked in at one point while I was sitting down eating, and I instantly coded them as queer. (Two had short spikey hair, the other had medium-short hair in a ponytail, looked like she probably played sports.) Sports!girl: "I can't hit people outside of bars! What if I got arrested? Then I couldn't be a lawyer." The bigger spikey-haired girl (with a North Face vest) told a story of a guy trying to start a fight with her -- they bumped into each other at a bar or a club or something and she was like, "Oh, sorry," and kept moving, but he like threw her against a wall and was all, "Hit me!" and she was thinking, "No way; I'll get my ass kicked." I was listening to their conversation (my table was like one over from where they were standing waiting in line to order) and she was facing me and she goes, "Yeah, you like that story, don't you?" and I kinda laughed and said, "Yeah, as soon as I saw you walk in I was like, 'Queer folk' I miss college...'" She didn't follow up on that any (like, "Where did you go to college?" or "So, you don't live around here do you?"), so after I finished my burrito (at which point they had all placed and gotten their orders and sat down at a table further back) I just headed out.

I checked out the park, and there were people with signs saying "Stop the U.S.-Israeli Genocide," and I sort of walked back the way they came, and there appeared to have been a vigil/rally/protest/something that had just ended across from City Hall (it was just about 6pm). There was an evergreen tree in front of City Hall with blue colored lights on it -- i.e., a Christmas tree. I was sort of uncomfortable. There were also lots of knobby interesting trees I can't identify, and some of the ones closest to City Hall also had lights on them. Huh, Googling just now allows me to offer you a picture. (I took a picture myself, but I didn't think to bring the cable for my digital camera to upload stuff to the laptop.)

I walked up Van Ness a little and then I took a cross street and then I think Octavia back down and found myself on Market Street and decided that this was a good time to head back to the hotel. On my way, I passed a Gentleman's Club, umpteen Donut Worlds, and a vegetarian restaurant I'd seen listed in the City Guide I picked up free at the airport and had been considering eating at this weekend (Ananda Fuara).
hermionesviolin: image of snow covered hill and trees with text "the snow with its whiteness" (snow)
Email from Molly to the listserv today (7:17am):
In spite of the snow, Beloved, our choirs will gamely forge ahead with cantata and worship as planned.

Remember last year's festivities? We were 60 or more strong, and that was with ice and driving winds in addition to snow. It was a lovely, secret and powerful feeling to be huddled together, hoping, in our little nest of a sanctuary while the storm raged outside. Perhaps you want to do it again.

We promise warmth, good food (cheese strata, black bean soup, fruit salad and cookies), and cheers for everyone who walks through door.

Of course, if it is not safe for you to come, please stay home. We will miss you. Travelling mercies to all those trying to get out of town in the next few days...

blessings
Molly
The flurrying was bigger than yesterday (actual flakes), I think because it was hovering around freezing rather than being down in the teens.  My walk to church was fine.  As I was tromping, I thought of Jess at group on Thursday saying how she had totally been on a break from exercising while she was on vacation in Cabo, except for walking on the sand, which admittedly is good for your calves.

(My walk home was fine, too.  There were plenty more times the snow was deeper than I anticipated, but my jeans never really got soggy -- even when I tripped into a snowbank crossing a street once.  As I neared home, it was getting a little difficult to see out of my glasses, but that was really the biggest problem.)

order of worship )

Edit: I forgot that I'd wanted to c&p this bit from the back of the bulletin [full-text found on UCC.org PDF]. I hang out with Methodists, so I was like, "Hey, I know this idea!" and I wanted to show it to Tiffany. Read more... )
hermionesviolin: a close-up crop of a Laurel Long illustration of a lion, facing serenely to one side (Aslan)
Last night I was looking up what I used as an Advent joy sadhana verse in years past and found:

And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before our God to prepare the ways, to give knowledge of salvation to God's people by the forgiveness of sins. By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace."
-Luke 1:76-79


I remembered the sermon Tiffany preached on that passage, on "go before out God to prepare the ways," which of course connects with the part in Molly's sermon this past Sunday on "Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight."

And I'm still singing Tracy Chapman to myself:
Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
'Cause all that you have is your soul



Recently I asked my mom (on behalf of a friend) for suggestions of a prayer to swap out for the Hail Mary when praying the rosary.

She suggested the Jesus Prayer ("Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" -- or just, "Lord have mercy"). She said, "It serves the same purpose of distracting your cognitive brain so you experience the presence of God."

I'm really bad at just being in the presence (similarly: listening for God).




Catching up on the Velveteen Rabbi blog:

on loving God with all of your being )

on making conditional vows to/with God )

I was reading Velveteen Rabbi's writeups of the Second North American Conference on Judaism and Human Rights (aka, Rabbis for Human Rights [RHR] 2008) earlier this week, and the idea that has really stuck in my mind is the idea of the importance of human dignity. [This also reminded me of Moi's post on lashon hara.]

Excerpts from the plenary session Zionism, Israel and Human Rights: )

From her writeup of Rabbi Brian Walt from the plenary session Introduction to the vision and program of Rabbis for Human Rights – North America: )

From the session Human Dignity, Defense of Life, and 'Ticking Bombs': Torture in Jewish Law and Values; Teaching the RHR Materials on Jewish Values and the Issue of Torture: )

Of the study session The Dignity of Work and the Indignity of Slavery, she writes: )

The session entitled Religious Jew, Secular Zionist: Thoughts on Jewish Theology and Israel featured Rabbi Arthur Green. Excerpt: )

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hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (Default)
Elizabeth (the delinquent, ecumenical)

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