burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

Learner's Service was supposed to start at 9:30 this morning (moving the Torah study to the middle of the service).  I got there about 9:40, because apparently I overestimate how quickly I walk when in heels, but there weren't very many people there (apparently it had gotten announced two different ways, so there was some confusion and misunderstanding) and we didn't actually start until 10:00.

The service was abbreviated some (so that it would still end at noon even with all the explanatory bits and the Torah study), and I still dislike how quickly all the stuff is said.  (The rabbi said you shouldn't try to think about every single word that's said but just let things pop out at you; I still dislike that I feel like it's being rushed through rather than actually being worshipful.)  I asked some questions during the service, and a whole slew after (like what the deal was with the metal plate hanging over the Torah -- because I could understand practical/theological reasons for everything else; he said all the coverings/decorations mimic the priestly garments).  I felt a little bad 'cause here I am this outsider (from the dominant culture, to boot) coming in and being all criticizing (for example, I said I thought the, "Although we do not actually make petitions because it is the Sabbath, we lift up the names of those in need of healing ... and hope for healing for them," was a cheat), but when I said he must want me to quit asking all these questions or whatever, he was all, "No, asking questions is good."

Purim is Monday, March 9.  I am seriously considering going to the 6:30pm thing at the temple.  In part because hamentaschen is delicious.

***

I got crepes with hedy, and she asked, "Are you going to see Spring Awakening when it comes here?"
me: "I've never heard of it, so no, it wasn't part of my plans."
hedy: "It's about teenagers having sex."
me: "I am clearly going to have to look that up so I can go."

Also, reminder to myself -- 2/27/09 metro "Must watch": "Blackbird." The Speakeasy Stage puts on this Olivier Award-winning play starring Marianna Bassham and Bates Wilder. With its twisted "Lolita" themes, two May-December main characters look back on their illicit affair.  It's at the BCA (539 Tremont St., Boston) through March 31.

***

I had done MBTA TripPlanner to find out how to get from Davis Square to the Chevalier Theater in Medford by 5pm for Stacie's gospel concert (this year's title: "Precious In His Sight").  I wrote down when the bus left Davis, when it was scheduled to arrive at my stop, and what the intersection was that I wanted; the walking directions said the street I wanted was one block from the street I'd be getting off at, so I didn't look at the map or print out a map.  It occurred to me later that I should have looked into how to get home -- since I was going to a part of Medford I'd never been to before.

I took the 94.  It turns left on Boston Ave. from Davis, same as the 96, but whereas the 96 then goes up Curtis/Winthrop, it keeps going down Boston forever.  I didn't have a really strong sense of where Medford Square is, but I knew from my glance at the map that Medford Square was over by my part of Medford so eventually it would have to turn around.  It did, and when we crossed Winthrop St. again I recognized the intersection from my travels to Temple Shalom.  The bus system announced my stop, and I noticed a street sign for the street I wanted and pressed the Stop Request and got out and went right there.

I was there about a half an hour early, but as soon as I walked in, Owen (SCBC) greeted me with a strong cheerful greeting (calling me by name) and a program.  I seated myself and ended up getting to take a nap because the program didn't get started until about 5:20.

I actually wasn't all that impressed by the program.  Stacie's amazing, of course, and there were some other good voices (though Ron Murphy's solo of "Every Time I Feel the Spirit," he was about 2/3 of the way through before the mic-ing actually sounded right to me -- he kept either seeming too close so it was sort of muffled or distorted or something, or he was too far away and so it wasn't loud enough), but mostly it was kinda meh (I'm sure my tiredness contributed to my feeling).

The chorus was dressed all in black with like stoles, usually orange, in like "traditional African" patterns.  (And the singers were almost all black -- which was of course unsurprising.)  They had youth/children's choirs for part of it, and a lot of the kids had very clear distinct personalities; there was this one little blonde boy maybe 3 or 4 years old, who was cracking up the audience 'cause he was like marching and crouching and it almost wasn't even like he was hamming it up, it was like he was just like that all the time.

I did really like the performance of "We Fall Down" -- nice choreography and everything (though even that I would have tweaked a bit).

I felt I had a good enough sense of where I wanted to go that I could head down this street at the intersection and be close -- and would end up somewhere familiar at some point.  It turned out to be Main Street and I quickly realized that I was approaching the street I live off of from the opposite direction than I normally do.  It took about 15 minutes for the bus to take me from Davis Square to where I was going.  It took me a little over 10 minutes to walk home.  Yeah, I kinda thought it was silly for Voltaire to wait for the bus to Medford Square from Tufts Engineering rather than just walking, and yeah, I feel validated in that now.

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Five good things about today:
1. Our recycling bin reappeared.  (Or housemate procured a new one, I dunno -- though I kind of doubt that.  *shrugs*  Am just glad to have a recycling bin again.)
2. While I would have included a lot more explanatory in a "Learner's Service," I enjoyed my morning at temple.
3. Bits of the gospel concert were really lovely.
4. I'm really pleased to (a) have successfully walked home without a map from somewhere I've never been, (b) have a better sense of Medford geography generally, (c) be within easy walking distance to Medford Square.
5. I get to go to bed before 1:30am!  omg, I am looking at like 10 hours of sleep.  (Which will probably not get me fully caught up after <12hrs/2days, but is definitely good.)
Bonus: My feet not hurting particularly after all that walking in heels.

Three things I did well today:
1. I went to an ATM.  (When I went to pay for the pizza last night, I realized I was down to only one twenty -- plus a few ones.)
2. I successfully got to the Chevalier Theater -- and home again.
3. I remembered my Lenten discipline to read one Psalm/day.  [Hee, the Psalm I read tonight is also the one in tonight's Daily Office.]

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. Church.
2. Being less tired.

***

Watch over those, both night and day, who work while others sleep, and grant that we may never forget that our common life depends upon each other's toil
-from tonight's Daily Office

First off, can I say how much I love Ari?  Yeah, a lot.

***

My hair didn't freeze this morning, but walking across the River I saw patches of it were thinly iced over -- which is an indicator of winter I'd forgotten about.  This week is going to be warmer than last, so I don't expect it to last, but it pleased me.

I've been thinking sometimes recently that my insistent fondness for and literal tolerance of the cold is in part that I am committed to this idea of who/how I am, but I was jogging outside tonight and the feel of cold air in my throat gave me this nostalgic happy which it wouldn't have occurred to me consciously to cultivate/perform, so I was comforted that it is at least in part still legitimately organic.

( gym )

Recruiting eating me up last week has put me so off my game.  Sigh.

I did have a moderately productive day, though.  And I was relaxed enough to feel like I could begin to skim some blogs again.  (Yeah, I know, I should really plug everything into a GoogleReader or something.)

The Bush twins, Barbara and Jenna, taught the Obama girls, Sasha and Malia, how to jump on the White House beds.

First Lady Laura Bush verified the story, and added that there was a real trick to proper White House bed-jumping: "They're really tall beds; you need to get a running start."

***

In some families, you can jump on the beds, and in some, they tell you no jumping on the beds. Both the Bushes and the Obamas allow bed jumping. Or, no, maybe Barack and Michelle are the no-jumping-on-the-beds kind of parents. And Malia and Sasha will say but Jenna and Barbara jumped on the beds -- they showed us how to jump on the beds. And Barack and Michelle will be all: The American people voted for change. No more of the failed policies of the Bush years. No more jumping on the beds.

Speaking of the Obama transition, I was reading a blurb in the metro this morning about the Richardson appointment, and it concluded along the lines of, "the aide spoke on condition of anonymity, not being authorized to speak about this matter," and that always squicks me (I mean, I know I share inappropriately, but not like that), but having watched The West Wing, part of me also wonders, "Was that an intentional 'leak'?"

***

[giving blood again]

I just missed the 94 bus, so I walked to Temple Shalom [from Davis T].  It took me just about 40 minutes, hustling but not booking it.  I had a 6:30 appointment and arrived about 6:15.  An hour later blood was actually dripping out of me.  The paperwork is such a process, plus there was a delay because like six people came in like ten minutes before me.  Also: apparently I have thin veins?  Whatever.  Anyway.

When I sat down at the "cantina," a man was explaining to a woman about the early episcopal councils anathematizing the Jews.  He's not Jewish but is very committed to seeking "God's will" (I got the conservative Christian vibe from him around there).  Later in conversation, she asked him if he was familiar with The David Project and he said yes and then brought up CAMERA, which he said exposes anti-Semitism in the media, including all the b.s. from Jimmy Carter and the like around Palestine.  I don't have strong opinions on the Israel-Palestine conflict, but this was the part at which I started withdrawing internally.

But during one of the conversations, she mentioned that this Temple has a Torah study from 9:30-10am on Saturday morning before service (which is 10-12!) which he would be welcome to come to (he'd be welcome to the service, too, but obviously might be less desirous of going to that).  I wasn't really engaging in the conversation (in part because I was anxious to get home for The Sarah Connor Chronicles -- and it took me little over 15 minutes to get home, which pleased me, though I was definitely hurrying), but I made a mental note of that ... 'cause clearly I need more religious engagement in my life.  (Torah study, though!  How is that not win?)

Also: They gave me a Red Cross blood donation t-shirt which I will probably never wear, so if anyone wants it...  (It's a size Large.)