hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
Picking up where i left off last entry.... Friday was an okay day. I was the first person into the dining hall for breakfast and pretty much inhaled my food. I didn’t get to hang out with a whole lot of people since a lot of people were leaving early and, as on Thursday, everyone else was packing or doing last minute shopping or what have you. Bummer.

On my way back to my staircase from the computer lab to take a shower before breakfast, Sara(h) and Adam ran by me. I wouldn’t have even noticed except that Sara(h) yelled some stuff to me, all of which i forget except “running to catch a bus,” to which i responded something including “talk to you later.” They’re going to visit family of Adam’s in Ireland, but we definitely need to keep in touch. I thought it was cute that the visiting gf, not the guy who’s been in the program with me for 6 weeks was the one who bothered to yell at me as they ran by.

I learned that since i’d packed light on the way over and then bought things, i needed an additional bag. Boswells was having a sale on luggage, so i got a nice black duffel bag for only ten pounds.

It was a beautiful day, so Long-Haired Brian (who now that the-program-with-three-Brians is over can be referred to as just Brian) and i hung out for a while before heading out to the airport. New people were moving in on Sunday, and the housecleaning staff finishes at 1 on Friday, but as long as we and all our stuff were out of our rooms we were free to hang around on the ground.

Mark the Porter has an e-mail address! He said some people had gotten it, so i should ask around. Oh yeah.

We finally left Trinity around 1. At the Queen’s Place stop i remembered “High Street - Queen’s Place” and thought, “I’ll never do this again.” Shortly thereafter i passed out for the duration since i hadn’t slept in over 24 hours. We got through Heathrow with little difficulty and hung out for a while before boarding. I didn’t do as much reading on the plane as i’d expected since (surprise!) i kept dozing off.

I’m glad all my NYC peoples are okay. Boston was unaffected, thankfully, and my flight actually arrived early. My baggage did not, however. Chloe (who was the one who was actually worried about her luggage getting lost) said, “I have a loved one waiting who is probably paying dearly for parking.” Brian did, too, but the sweetheart waited with me. Ultimately i had to file a lost luggage claim and he went to meet his gf. I almost told him, “If you see a woman with long red hair, that’s my mother and you can tell her i’m just filing a lost luggage claim.” My mother in turn, saw him and wondered if he was my Long-Haired Brian.

9 times out of 10 your luggage arrives on the next flight, and so it was with mine -- around 1:30 on Saturday a guy drove up and i signed for my bag. Mostly it was just clothes and toiletries, so i wouldn’t have been traumatized if it vanished into the ether, but unpacking it i saw my striped shoulder bag and was so glad i hadn’t realized that was in there because i love that bag and haven’t seen anything similar.

I love Lileks sometimes. On the NYC blackout and the news coverage thereof he writes:
I’m sure no one was happy to be standing there in the dead black dark, but what could you do? Stick someone up, take his credit cards and fashion them into a small portable fan? Stab someone in the foot, and hope he hops around and creates a small breeze? Set yourself on fire to take your mind off the hunger?
I came home to lots of mail, some of it even worth having. I am indeed on the list for SAA, though they still haven’t told us where our temp housing is. *growls* Training looks like it’ll kinda suck, but at least it isn’t ResLife.

Speaking of heading back to Smith, suggestions for a title for my editorial column as well as what to write about for the Back to School issue (Cate said: "The Back to School issue is usually geared toward the incoming 1st years, so we'll probably keep it kind of low-key.") are welcome.

Saturday i went to Wal-Mart with my mother. I now have, among other things, platform Mary Janes. Finally! The front of the sole does this weird curl up thing, but they’re good enough. I still plan to seek out more permanent shoes. I also decided Sunday evening that i want to get myself some sort of faux men’s suit. No reason.

Saturday evening we had my homecoming dinner at my grandmother’s, which was nice. Later that night i went to (the NC-17 version of) Showgirls at Dedham Community with my boy (and Jon and Elena and other peoples). There’s something i read once, “There is nothing less erotic than a completely naked body,” something like that, and it’s definitely accurate. What is hot is tension, is mystery, is NOT KNOWING. The porntasticness of the movie was not hot. There needs to be Nomi/Molly and Nomi/Cristal slash, because those were hot. (Ooh, and [livejournal.com profile] anniesj has a random porn thread.) I was not warned about the incredibly disturbing scene. I can even understand a narrative necessity for it, but i was not warned. And yes, one definitely would skip over it in repeated viewings. While for much of the movie i understood why Joe thinks it belongs in the comedy and not the drama section, disturbing scene aside, the movie just holds no appeal for me to rewatch. (I was amused that while Joe has watched it more times than is healthy, on the drive home he mentioned plot problems that i had explanations for after that single viewing.)

Meredith, Joe says Entertainment Weekly has a list of the top cult classic movies – wanna bring that issue to Smith so i can check it out? Thanks so much.

Sunday’s sermon was on keeping the Sabbath. It was okay. I understand that it’s one of the commandments, but i just don’t see it as key. I think things like, oh, being nice to people, are much more key.
One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
”The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
-Mark 12:28-34 (NIV)
He said that Voltaire was once asked how to get rid of Christianity and his answer was stop them keeping the Sabbath. He also mentioned that the question early Christians were asked (in areas where it was illegal) was “Do you keep the Lord’s Day.” Later i thought, though, that that was about the fact that Christians said that God’s law superseded that of government and that didn’t make rulers happy, and keeping the Sabbath was the easiest example of that (much of Christian law meshes nicely with most government’s rules). He definitely got into iffy church/state area. He said that Glasgow’s motto used to be “May Glasgow flourish by the praising of the Lord and the keeping of His Word” and the citizens took it to heart and the city flourished, but then politicians decided to cut it down to just “May Glasgow flourish” and since then the city has gone downhill morally and every other way. The idea of worldly prosperity as a sign of God’s approval always makes me uncomfortable.

The Pioccones had a pool party which we went to in the afternoon, and that was nice. Though at one point some people started talking about evolution, and i was not about to start arguing with people who say that evolution “is a mockery of Christ.” Later some people were talking about homeopathic medicine and i was a bit thrown because i associate that mindset with people other than fundamentalist Christians, but thinking about it a bit i realized that it makes sense, flows from the idea that God can provide better than men ever can and so on. I want to learn more about nutrition, specifically re: veg(etari)anism and “natural” remedies for colds and menstrual cramps. Gah, there is so very much i want to do/research in the near future.

I got sucked into playing volleyball and on occasion i didn’t suck. It’s one of the few sports i’m actually capable of being decent in. And it’s one of those convenient lessons about the importance of just going for it, of not being timid, of not being able to succeed if you don’t try, of needing to always be ready.

Back at the library on Monday for a full day of work. Boy was it busy. (We’re closed weekends in the summer, and school starts up in 2 weeks so hello summer reading.) Busy is good, though. And Terry totally still loves me. I like my life.

Yes, the England trip is really over, though i’m still translating prices and time zones and typing as if it were a British keyboard. I miss big breakfasts, hoummos & roasted vegetables baguettes from Mortons, and pesto tortellini. Anyone just tuning in can read it all starting here.

Extraneous linkage: I have never understood the fuss over precious stones. This, however, is quite interesting.
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
After dinner i went to the creperie (Cleo?) with Michelle, Chloe, Anne Marie, and Christina. Wow those are expensive. I spent ten dollars on a dessert. Only because it was the last night was this okay. £5.60 for a crepe banane chocolat and £1.80 for a hot chocolate, plus a pound tip. At least it was yummy. (And their hot chocolate is really good. *remembers the Lamont hot chocolate machine and drools*)

It's interesting listening to people talk about other people. And it reminds me that my judgements of people need to be grounded in my own experience with them, because there will always be people i like who dislike each other.

Around 11:30 a lot of us went to DTM. The music wasn't as good as last night, but they played some stuff i definitely didn't expect: "Backstreet's Back" and Madonna's "Like a Prayer." The Madonna was absolutely the best part of the night. I've gotten into dancing to the kind of music DTM plays, but i was all over "Like a Prayer" and even Long-Haired Brian danced and that made me happy and he has grace/rhythm, which is always hotness. No Kieran, but we got a pitcher of sangria (of which i had a little) and something which Alice or Christina thought was Sex-on-the-Beach (of which i had a glass).

Around quarter to one we headed over to Mood. We had a nice reserved section so we lounged on grey leather seats and i watched people get so very drunk. The dance floor was packed, but at one point i did venture over there with Jenny. I didn't like the music, though, and she was dancing with one of her guy friends, so i was just kinda dancing, but not all that well since there was so little space. Then this kinda strange-looking guy started dancing with me. Okay, whatever. It began to seem like the fact that he was dancing with me was some sort of show for his friends, and i didn't like the music/crowdedness anyway, so i make my way through the crowded masses back to our lounge area. Thankfully i was followed by no hassle.

It was tempting to just leave and go home (probably to bed), but this was the last night and i do really enjoy the company of a lot of these people. And i did get to talk to Brian and Ken some, which was good. And then after we left around 2 we some of us went to the kebab vans on St. Giles and ate on the monument and then hung out outside my staircase and then in the computer lab.

I really value what i've gained academically here, and i have fun anecdotes and have done lots of touristy things with postcards and photographs to boot, but what i value most is the friendships i've made, the wonderful people i've discovered and hope to keep in touch with.

I made the mistake of saying "LiveJournal is the best thing ever" tonight. Of course this is not true, and usually i'm careful to be aware of the meaning/implications of what i say and to fully mean what i say, but admittedly sometimes i'm prone to exaggeration. Ken said that the best thing ever is someone who loves you unconditionally. I agree. It makes me sad to hear someone say there are 2 people who love him/her unconditionally. I know my parents absolutely love me unconditionally, but i would like to think that a lot of other people do as well. I don't share everything about myself with everyone, but deep love looks beyond aspects which may elicit disapproval to the person as a whole. (This is something i definitely struggle with with certain relationships.) I'm not being particularly articulate, partly because i don't especially want to get into specific examples, but yeah. This deserves its own entry, on what love means and the different kinds of love and a hierarchy of personal characteristics (both in people's own perceptions of themselves and people's perceptions of other people).

I learned that not only is Chloe on my flight home (doesn't depart until 6:05pm, but it's a direct to Boston, 7 hours and 15 minutes on a Boeing 777 jet, arriving at 8:20pm) but Long-Haired Brian is as well. Yaynish. And i have terminal info, woo hoo.

A lot of people are sad about the program ending. As i've said before, i've had a great time and am really glad i did it (much more glad than i thought i would be), but i have so much to look forward to when i get back. The usual: back in America with all that that means (e.g. my money meaning what i think it means, being in the same time zone as most of my people), seeing loved ones again, having my own computer and real AIM, but mostly it's all about Smith. ("This is About Smith." *snerks*) English Department Liaison, Lamont House SAA (Student Acadamic Advisor), weekly editorial for The Sophian [Title suggestions?]. And of course, seeing lots of people, meeting new people, my room, so many things i love about Smith/Northampton.

An incomplete list of more specific items follows:
  • Homecoming dinner with Grandma Saturday night.
  • Pool party at the Pioccones' Sunday afternoon.

  • Monday: Returning all my books to the library and picking up more books (and movies). I think i'm working that day, too.

  • Smith Club thingie in Needham: Friday, August 22

  • My uncle taking me back to the Valley: Sunday, August 24
  • Moving back into my real Smith room: August 29

  • Common Rotation show at the Iron Horse, September 5 (or October 10 if for some reason we can't get tickets) because as the lady says, "we can't let a recurring Buffy actor be 2 minutes walking distance away and NOT go."

Yay for incoming Lamonsters who know how to stalk. (She found me through LJ and IMed me. I of course in turn plugged her into LJ.) And she's living in my first year room! Craziness.


Mrr. Shower at 7, then to breakfast, then to finish packing. Am beginning to get hungry now, though. Am also beginning to get tired. I had an overnight flight over here and was little jet-lagged and adjusted well to the time zone shift. I think regardless of whether i sleep on the plane or not my sleep schedule will be fucked for a couple days.

Roommate has already left. Never said goodbye to her because we thought we would see each other before she left. I'll probably e-mail her at some point. She was definitely a cool person/roommate. We've talked these past few days about how people are all "Yeah, we'll stay in touch" but it mostly isn't going to happen. I never had such delusions, but it'll be interesting to see how it goes. There are definitely people i want to keep in touch with who seem not very reciprocatory.
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
"Our walk takes us through a central portion of Hardy's Wessex, a fictional region based on the southwestern country of Dorset. The actual topography, place names, roads and railways make their way into all of his novels, appropriately altered and adapted to fictional ends."

"Our approximate walking distance will be about eight miles, so make sure you have comfortable shoes or footgear. Water and sun-block, if you are inclined to burn, are advisable."

Of course i did it in my inappropriate boots because they were the only shoes i had brought with me. (Hey, i broke them in walking around NYC.) Mostly we were on paved roads, though, so i was pleasantly surprised. I have to be dragged scuffing and whinging (as opposed to kicking and screaming) to put on "sun oil" (as our guide, former Seminar director David someoneorother, called it), so of course i got a bit sunburned, but really not badly. I think my hair is about two shades lighter. I must have a better tolerance for heat than a lot of people, because barely having started people were saying they were so hot and sweaty and i wasn't really that uncomfortable.

We went to Stonehenge first.

(On the way there, appropriately enough, we passed a weird crop circle configuration.)

"It's the greatest henge in the world. Of course, no one knows what a henge actually is."

Alice won more points because she's a fan of Eddie Izzard and (i learned on the ride home) Ani DiFranco and Dar Wiliams. Because she quoted the above, i started quoting Eddie Izzard throughout the hike. This would have been more fun if i were walking near her, but you can't have everything.

Oh, and late in the hike Long-Haired Brian mentioned that if anyone needed water he still had a lot left. "I'll be sure to drain it from your body," Ken said. "Dune!" i shouted. At this point Alice actually was near us, and she knew exactly what i meant. Ken didn't, so i was glad someone got my reference.

Eddie will be in Boston, incidentally, October 21-25 at the Shubert Theatre. The cheapest tickets are $40, though, so holy fuck i am not going.

Christina took a picture of me in front of Stonehenge. I felt like the gnome in Amélie.

Honestly, i was underwhelmed by Stonehenge. I think i was expecting it to be bigger. But now i can say i have been, and i have the pictures to prove it. :)

Next was the hike. We stopped for lunch at a church (Batcombe) and i was gonna sit on one of those big crypt things, but David told us not too. Boo. I had gone to Mortons to get a sandwich that morning. They open at 8:30 and we were leaving at 9. At 8:40 they definitely didn't have all their sandwiches made (and the girl was glad i had exact change becaue her till was still locked) but i asked for a hummus&vegetable and the cute boy made one for me. Yayness.

There was a fairly evil uphill bit near the beginning of the hike, but then it was mostly level. David has done this before, but he definitely didn't always know where we were going. There was one time we went down quite a ways and then the land just drops off, so we had to walk back up. That was not fun. Mostly the hike was nice, though.

At one point we walked by a big bag of "Pheasant Grower Pellets." (Shortly thereafter we saw the actual pheasants.) I was reminded of a Roald Dahl book but couldn't think of what it was. Then Chloe said something like, "Wasn't there a Roald Dahl story about a kid and his dad who caught pheasants by putting gunpowder in these pellets so they would explode?" and i said "Danny Champion of the World! Thank you! I was just trying to think of that. But wasn't it that they put some sort of sedative in the pellets, so the pheasants would fall asleep and then they could catch them?" She agreed.

We passed the Cross-in-Hand, immortalized in Tess of the D'Urbervilles. Michelle and Chloe took a picture of Anne Marie with her hand on it because of the Tess reference and because it's a big ole phallic symbol.

Nearly at the end we saw the "Cerne Giant," "an enormous figure of unknown origin with a club 120 feet long." Oh yeah, that was what i noticed, the club, uh huh.

At one point as we headed down toward the end we were facing these vast wheat fields and my first thought was, "sand dunes!" Yes, i did spend 3 weeks all about the rocks a few summers ago, why do you ask? ;)

David paid for dinner back in Cerne Abbas. Sadly i wasn't hungry enough to take advantage of this beyond a banana milkshake.

Today i went back to the Ashmolean and definitely didn't see [livejournal.com profile] akronohten's phallic plate at the Ashmolean. Maybe it's traveling somewhere. Oh well.

I also didn't see the portraits of Christopher Robin Milne and his Bear at the National Portrait Gallery though i went through probably the entire museum. I did see a lot of good stuff, though. I also learned that modern people who have portraits in there include Meera Syal, David Beckham, and Ozzy Osborne. There's also Iris Murdoch and a couple of Joan Collins, and in the DJ exhibit one of Fatboy Slim (he's white?!). There are two of Ian McKellan. I dislike the modern one. In the one from 1969 he looks so fem i can't even handle it. They have a portrait of Shakespeare which is the only one "to have a real claim to have been painted from life" or something. It's the first portrait the gallery acquired, which i think is appropriate.

I splurged on a Frida Kahlo book. Only £5 and appears to have every painting she did, as well as having text of course.

I finally bought London postcards, having purchased Oxford ones earlier this week.

To do:
  • Actually write said postcards.
  • Mail said postcards.
  • Write another mass update e-mail.
  • Finally do final college visitations.
  • Purchase Oxford t-shirt. ([livejournal.com profile] carpdeus, i think measurements will have to wait until i return to the States and actually have a ruler.)
  • Have V sign Adam Bede for my mom.
  • Write final paper.
  • Do final load of laundry, preferably before the Closing Banquet so i can wear the slacks i got grass marks on yesterday.

I finally stopped feeling crampy sometime tonight. Thankfully yesterday i wasn't crampy. Some people say exercise is good for relieving menstrual cramps, and yesterday i would have been inclined to agree, but walking around today did nothing for me. As Britta would say, my uterus is trying to secede from the union. Not really, but it still sucks sometimes. At least it doesn't make me particularly irritable (though i'm certainly happier when i don't feel like that).



In other news, i went on friending-binge. (Yeesh, my friendspage always feels stuffed whenever i do this -- though this is probably partly because i'm away and thus filtering out icon and fic communities, so i've gotten used to the feel of a pared down friendspage.) I reiterate what i quoted on my user info:
The whole LJ "friends" concept is weird. For one thing, it's misnamed. "Friend" is a very loaded word. I think "friend" and "friend of" should be renamed "reading" and "readers". If you can change the names of your comments section so it says "be effulgent" instead of "post comment", why can't you change that?
-[livejournal.com profile] papersky
Oh, and [livejournal.com profile] pallidamors, i didn't mention it at the time, but i feel your pain on the issue of even numbers [multiples of five, really] on one's User Info page.

[Also, anyone who wants to can request to be a certain color scheme on my friendspage.]

[livejournal.com profile] carpdeus insisted on proofreading my paper for the Hofer prize. (And i ended up submitting "Navigating Other-ness: Meena Kumar’s Journey in Anita and Me" rather than "Identity as Costume in Hanif Kureishi’s The Buddha of Suburbia" because really, coolness of topic aside, it was a much more solid paper.) He wrote (among other things, of course):
Have I mentioned that you rated a 12 on the F-K reading scale. I'm impressed. Very few people I know write at that level and still have understandable content.

[and responding to my request for an explanation]

I'm just used to having to write for a much broader audience, which means keeping the F-K (Flieschman-Kincaid, I believe) scale at about grade 8-9. Your paper ranked as a grade 12, what a Senior or above in High School could conceivably read and understand in terms of syntax, grammmar and syllables. Actually, I'm shorthanding something that probably has a book describing it but if you're using Microsoft Word, go into Tools, Options and set Readability Statistics on. Then, when you do the Grammar check it will end with telling you some extra information about the paper and how "readable" it is.
And [livejournal.com profile] ghostintheshell says i'm her idol. It's a good day, yo.

Also, i learned that the Sherborn lady who hosted a Smith thingie i went to before arriving at Smith (and where i met one of my favorite people) is having another one August 22 and my daddy can take me. One of the (many) things that's been lovely about this Oxford trip is meeting Smithies outside of my "circle" per se (as well as meeting wonderful people more generally) and it'd be nice to continue doing that.

Wow, Avette came in with her sister and her sister's two kids while i was typing this entry, and she introduced me and Ken (the only other people in the lab) just as other students, and the niece said to me, "You go to Smith." Said niece was the one Avette kept mentioning as having just graduated from Smith. "I recognize your face," the girl said. I must admit i don't recognize her. But still, wow.

edit: Breakfast the next day, Avette said her niece was talking about me, said i had done a great presentation. Now i was really racking my brains, thinking back to classes i had done presentations in (because as a very dark-skinned woman, niece would probably stick out in my memory). Then Avette said "body image, something like that." And i said, "Oh yeah, Bodywise! Ariana and i did a presentation at Chapin House last semester." Mystery solved. And very pleased that she thought the presentation was great. Bodywise is actually one of the things i had forgotten about, but it adds to the list of many things to look forward to about going back to Smith.
hermionesviolin: (anime night)
People annoy me sometimes. Mandy said she didn't think she could afford to go to "Poohville" (as she called it) with me. That was fine, and i'm used to (and tend to prefer) doing things on my own. I ignored the fact that i continued to see her buying food and alcohol and smokes, because we all have stuff we splurge on or just don't consider a splurge. I happened to take the same bus as her and some other Trinitarians back from London the day i went to Ashdown Forest. So they went to a market and a restaurant and stuff, okay fine. Then today they're going to Scotland for the weekend. Maybe it's something she really wants to do and Karen's spotting her money. Maybe her parents sent her money. Maybe she has more money than she thought. I really don't know, and i don't care that much, it just annoys me, largely because i think she's pretty cool and would like to get to know her better but i don't see her that much and yeah.

Then there are other people who are funny and intelligent and helpful and just all around wonderful, so who's complaining, really?

Homelessness isn't a cool cause anymore, is it? Walking tonight i was hit up for change (of course) and i got to thinking (probably because the craziness that is the California gubernatorial race was in my brain), "How could you live in an urban area and pass on the streets and then go and run for mayor and not have homelessness be an absolute top priority? No one likes getting hit up for money." Then i remembered how easy it is to forget about that once you're back in your home.

you can doubt anything if you think about it long enough cuz what happened always adjusts to fit what happened after that
-"reckoning"
i remember the first time i saw someone
lying on the cold street
i thought: i can't just walk past here
this can't just be true
but i learned by example
to just keep moving my feet
it's amazing the things that we all learn to do
-"subdivision"


I got ice cream because i wanted to, and it was good (chocolate cheesecake), and i bumped into Peter Groves who remembered me (including my name) which was lovely and impressive, and i now have a photo of the infamous kebab van, but the walk didn't wake me up, and i definitely have fear about tomorrow's hike, with the heat and the 7 or 8 mile-ness. It will be okay, though. And i'll come home and sleep and recover and go to the National Portrait Gallery on Saturday and finally start really working on my paper (which isn't due until Wednesday, so really now) on Sunday. *sighs* It will all be fine, i know. Because it always is. Because there isn't any other option.
hermionesviolin: photoshoot image of Emma Caulfield (who plays Anya), looking to the right and smiling, with text "I do it for the joy it brings" (i do it for the joy it brings)
Okay, so at Balcony Dinner thanks to Jim talking we learned that my professor Valentine Cunningham (frequently referred to in this journal as V) plays trumpet and has a band.

From the final Weekly Seminarian, about the closing banquet:

After dinner there will be live music in the Beer Cellar featuring Professor Val Cunningham on the trumpet and his Dixieland Jazz Band.

up and down

Aug. 7th, 2003 02:47 pm
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
Blessing of the Day:

The weather. I did some errands around noon/one and was comfortable.

Also:

As it grew dark last night, blue lightning bugs came out -- a charming and fitting addition to the Midsummer production.

Complaint of the Day:

Slow moving pedestrians. Who take up the whole width of the sidewalk.

I remember learning in elementary school to stay to the right. It means traffic can flow in two directions. It also means people can pass you. While i know little about British driving protocols, i know that the escalators in the London Underground ask you to stand to the right.

Also:

I had to go to Borders to purchase V's Adam Bede (Oxford World's Classics edition -- i previously tried Waterstones, Blackwells including the secondhand department, and the Oxford University Press Bookshop).

Lots of colleges say "closed to visitors." I suspect if i told the Porters i'm studying at Trinity they would let me in anyway. I feel weird, though.

I dislike when the cloth on the bottom of the inside of a shoe begins to detach. (What's that part of the shoe called, anyway?) Would that cease to happen if i bought better shoes than Payless? (This is not a rhetorical question.)

I must have been more hungry than i thought because i just about inhaled lunch. And now i find i'm still hungry. Will i get any work done today?

I wish this were a more balanced list.

[edit: Michele just e-mailed me and i'm working 3 more hours the week i get back. And despite the bads outweighing the goods on this particular list, i'm in a good mood, so really, there's no problem.]

edit the second: Yes, there was indeed another positive item i had forgotten. The bus dropped me off on High Street at 1am and i made it back to Trinity without incident. Wahoo!
hermionesviolin: black and white photo of Emma Watson as Hermione, with text "hermionesviolin" (hermione by oatmilk)
I spent nigh on 20 USD (£9.50) for the cheapest seats (which mean i didn't hear all the lines) at an open-air production of Midsummer. The theatre in Regent's Park is not as easy to find as i would have expected, but i managed to get there on time and, even with it being dark, only get lost a little bit coming back. I may actually be developing a sense of direction. A lot of the dialogue sounded really flat to me, like they were too focused on being loud enough to really get emotion into what they were saying. The hysterical Pyramus&Thisbe at the end almost made the ticket price worth it. I realized watching it that the fairy story (Titania/Bottom) was the only part of Midsummer i knew going in. Oderon reminded me of David Bowie's character in Labyrinth, only darker. I wonder if that was just the costume; one of these days i really must rewatch that movie. Robert Sean Leonard in Dead Poets Society will always be how i picture Puck. (And watching the play end last night i realized that Puck's ending speech -- which is the biggest part of Midsummer we see in the movie -- makes an interesting epilogue to Dead Poets Society.)
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this,--and all is mended,--
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend;
If you pardon, we will mend.
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call:
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.


My dad sent me this link, but i got distracted by this embedded link (and follow-up posts and links). Rating the dateability of superheroes (and, in linked posts, heroines). Go now. The Batman one made me snicker. [I went through [livejournal.com profile] monkeycrackmary's LJ starting at the time i got LJ, looking for that Batman/Robin comic because i didn't think to bookmark it, and i couldn't find it. This is wrongness.] I've always loved Professor X, so bah on her, but props for Beast, whom i also loved (cartoon X-Men when i was a kid -- my only X-Men exposure before the recent movies). And yes, Cyclops is so boring. Iceman... stuff like this has ruined me (and Dolly mentioned "bring me a cold drink" at the end... what do you want from me?). [edit: Batgirl, yo.]

Yo, when did InstaPundit start having a comments feature? (Took him long enough, though given the tremendous amounts of traffic he gets, i wasn't surprised he didn't have one.)

Also, this just in, directory of left-leaning blogs. All the ones i read lean right (though looking at the list, i have spent some time at a few of them) so i'm definitely gonna go through the list here, because it would really be only fair for me to read liberal-leaning stuff that doesn't drive me up a wall.

Blurgh.

Aug. 6th, 2003 04:11 pm
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (Default)
Hot weather, and i'm getting my period.

my body is borrowed, i got it on loan -- in between my mom and some maggots

Spent a lot of today lying down/sleeping. Revised plan is National Portrait Gallery on Saturday.

Went to Sainsbury's and got grapes, a bottle of water (for Friday's hike -- God please let us all survive that), an "innocent smoothie", and a copy of the Oxford Mail because the headline was: County swelters in record heat.

The weather inset on page 2:
Today:
Very hot day; sticky and uncomfortable,

Tomorrow:
Another very hot day.
"innocent smoothies" are not the yummiest things i've ever had, but they have possibly the cutest label text. Samples from the label:
One of our favourite things to talk about (apart from the possibility of public nudity being legalised in the next year or two) is getting your recommended daily intake of fruit (RDIF).

...

Gently pasteurised, like milk.
Separation sometimes occurs.*

*but mummy still loves daddy
Whee, the backlog of my Comments: Posted since, oh, two weeks ago, kicked in. And i got an e-mail from Ria, and [livejournal.com profile] carpdeus is wonderful. Life is not wholly the suck. And open-air Midsummer should be a decent way to spend the night.
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
Guest Dinner Tonight:
-Chilled Cucumber Soup with Smoked Salmon
-Char grilled Chicken Supreme with Tomatoes and Olives
-Iced Chocolate Bombe with Cherries

The flavor of the soup was much more concentrated than one would expect from cucumbers, and i found it unpleasant. Josh and Kate suspected the salmon verged on raw, and the vegetarians got this chilled green lump in their soup instead of a salmon lump. Christina asked if it was avocado. It definitely was not. I had almost no soup.

The chicken was replaced with mushrooms, and it was on pasta/tortellini, so i ate well.

Dessert was a round thing of chocolate ice cream with a hard chocolate coating on it. YUM. Some of us could have done without the cherry sauce drizzled around it. Kate said she prefered her ice cream "virgin" and we agreed not to make bad taste jokes about that.

Kate's funny. She has an obsessive personality, so when she likes stuff she *really* likes stuff. I learned tonight that not only does she love the Harry Potter books, but she also loves the movies and in general enjoys movies made out of books, doesn't have the problem i have of having the images get stuck in my head crowding out my own picturing of the characters etc.

After dinner everyone had left except High Table and Michelle/Chloe/Anne Marie. I sat down next to Michelle and said, "What the hell was that green stuff they put in our soup?" Hi, my name is Elizabeth and i have no tact sometimes. She suspected it was just frozen soup, which made sense to me. I went with them to not have coffee, and then we hung out on a bench outside Trinity chatting and that was cool. They're always talking about the sexual imagery in their 19th Century Women's Literature readings, and tonight i learned that when they went to the Jane Austen Centre, Ann-Marie bought missing smut from Pride and Prejudice. They said there were other ones, but i couldn't find them on Amazon. That kind of stuff would make me get into reading Austen again. Then they were talking about doing similar things, and i felt kinda like i was in NC-17 fan-fic-dom, only with literature (and from Michelle's talk about the book Anne Marie got, it sounds a lot more serious and well-thought out than so much fanfic smut which often boils down to "how can i make these pretty people fuck?"). They're not my favorite people, but they're growing on me, and i had a good night.

Went to do laundry around 11 after we finally parted ways. Seemed like everyone was doing laundry. I emptied a finished washer into an empty dryer, though, so it was all good. Then came down to the computer lab and got the last remaining computer. Apparently 2 classes have papers due tomorrow. I felt bad when people came in and then left because there was no open computer, but i'm too tired to feel up for socializing and i have to do laundry. At 1:30 i can take my clothes out of the dryer and go to bed, thank goddess.

Keep reminding myself that i'm going to London. Probably leaving around lunch time because my only plans are National Portrait Gallery and an 8pm Midsummer at Regent's Park. And buying postcards. I bought some Oxford ones this afternoon and will be buying a plethora of London ones, both for scrapbooking and for sending as i haven't sent any postcards yet and promised them to various people. I also need to write another mass e-mail update. Probably this weekend. Also need to remember that submission for the Hofer prize is due Friday, the day which i'm going on the Hardy country hike (preceded by Stonehenge). And my final paper is due next Wednesday. And i should e-mail Joe about stuff. So much to do. I need to go to the Ashmolean again and visit a couple more of the colleges, but it's been in the 80s and i just haven't wanted to do anything. I found college t-shirts, but they have the college arms on the breast pocket which isn't something i'm a fan of, and the Trinity arms are depicted really poorly. You can get college scarves, but i don't really want that. I may yet get a nice grey Oxford University t-shirt, though i haven't had luck procuring a good image of the Trinity arms online. [My plan is to get a good image of the Trinity college arms, print it onto iron-on material, and iron it onto the back of an Oxford t-shirt.]
hermionesviolin: black and white photo of Emma Watson as Hermione, with text "hermionesviolin" (hermione by oatmilk)
Balcony Dinner last night. At the Miriam's room pre-dinner mixer i had 3 glasses of water and then, at Jim's urging, a glass of white wine. In the hour of dinner i had two glasses of white wine, this time at the urging of Valentine -- who mocked my vegetarianism all night. By the time dinner was over i realized i felt light-headed, but i wasn't otherwise affected. This is why i don't drink much (besides the fact that i don't like the taste of most alcohol); it doesn't make me more outgoing or more honest or anything like that. We went down to the Beer Cellar and i had a fourth glass of white wine, this time i think just because it was there.

I talked with Brian Long-Haired-Brian for a while about music and TV and stuff but it was actually really good conversation. Ken -- who must have been really drunk -- came over and started telling Brian how wonderful i am. That i'm nice and intelligent and thoughtful and interesting and learned and other adjectives i've forgotten. Mandy and Karen and others don't like him much because he's said inappropriate things etc. and from what they've said i think they have every reason to not wanna be around him, and he's not my favorite person to be around, but he was the first person i met when i got here (after Dave, who didn't really count at the time because he just gave me my packet and directions) and i still think of him as a generally good guy, so it was nice to have that validated. Plus, i always love being flattered, so i was grinning like a goof 'cause i can't help it and Ken said something like "Look at that smile," and i thought of Kevin because he always says how gorgeous my smile is and stuff.

Later i was talking with Kate and we had really great conversation and she bought me a lime Bacardi breezer and then we went outside onto the mini-quad because we could barely hear ourselves talk, and eventually we headed back to her room until she kicked me out around 11:30 because she had some work to get done for the next day. This all made me really happy for reasons including the fact that while i like Kate she's usually so negative. I was thinking again about the high standards/expectations i have for people recently (triggered by recent posts from Toby) and one of my issues was negativity and i was thinking about how much more i enjoy conversing with Kate now that we talk about Philip Pullman and what fantasy books she's read recently instead of her just being negative all the time. (And hey, it wasn't even Positive Wednesday.) I learned last night that Kate loves Bill Clinton, the Kennedys and Tori Amos. Why do i feel like that's blackmail material?

After she kicked me out i (duh) went back to my room and there were a whole bunch of people on the stoop, getting ready to head out to the lawn because it was near quiet hours. Miriam was distributing cookies -- yayness.

Anyway, we headed over to the grass and everyone was really drunk and i wasn't a big fan and i said something about how i should leave and LHB (Long-Haired-Brian) said "No, stay, you're groovy," and so i did. We started talking, and eventually everyone else went to bed and we just stayed out there still talking, about so much stuff, and it was great. He said he was sorry he was so drunk because it was making it really difficult to speak intelligently and finish a train of thought and so on, and i told him honestly that he was doing a very good job and that i appreciated it. A number of times he mentioned how tired he was, and i essentially gave him permission to go to bed, but it wasn't until around 5am that he finally said he needed to go to bed or else he was gonna feel like shit.

All this intelligent discussion makes me really happy and i need to find more of it and keep in contact with these people.

(Oh, Brian was saying one thing he's been disappointed at here is not being able to find live music. Any thoughts, [livejournal.com profile] akronohten?)
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
So, with very minimal help from me (i showed him how you can search for user by e-mail address) Ken found his ex-girlfriend's LJ. He was reading her friendspage and saying he didn't even know some of these people (she became his best friend over the course of the time they were dating, so it's understandable that he would think he knows all the people she knows) and i pointed out that lots of LJ users meet other people through LJ and don't actually know them in real life. This prompted me to plug the both of us in to LJ Connect. 4 hops. Me to Joe to Amanda-at-UMassBoston-whom-i-don't-know to ex-gf's brother to ex-gf.
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
I feel all popular with this sudden flurry of being friended. I always feel weird when people friend me while i'm on a theme (Buffy, Iraq, Oxford, whathaveyou) because i think people are gonna be disappointed uninterested when i start posting a lot on something different. So i would just like to remind everyone that they can defriend me and my feelings will not be hurt. And i'm weird about choosing to friend people, so please don't be offended if i don't friend you back. [The better i know you the more likely i am to add you to my friendslist, so feel free to comment on entries, IM me, etc.]

Listening to a conversation with Clare on Tuesday i realized that the reason we saw so many people in black robes at the beginning of our stay here is that they were in Examination Robes. (If i'd known that at the time i probably would have been tacky and surreptitiously taken a picture of some of them.)

I walked into breakfast today and the guy hands me a plate of 5 hash browns. Oh yeah, he knows me. A couple times recently i've actually been feeling less well and only gotten 3, but this has been later in the morning when the woman is serving and the hash browns have looked a bit overcooked anyway. These were delicious, though, and i definitely wanted 5.

Balcony Dinner with Valentine on Monday. (I want to go to Ashdown Forest some day when i can have the entire day and not worry about needing to be back, and there are fewer and fewer days in which i can do that. Hmm.) That should be great. He is the most cracked out professor i have ever had. He knows scads, unquestionably, but he's just, i don't have words. But if you ever have opportunity to take a class or go to a lecture by Valentine Cunningham, DO IT. We spent probably 15 minutes at the beginning of class discussing (by which in this class i almost always mean "listening to him talk about") the British slang "bugger" and i learned that "faggots" in Britain are a meatball type thing. He was telling us about this Japanese guy who was translating a book, and in the book there's a line where a man says to his wife, "Bugger me, I could do with some faggots tonight." In synchronicity, this [faggots as culinary item] comes up in today's Lileks.


Unrelatedly, this piece from the Lemon made me snicker:
In the wake of the attack earlier this week that left Uday and Qusay Hussein dead, many in America's academic community came forward to encourage the remaining supporters of Saddam Hussein to "look past their anger" and try to discover the "root causes" of the American attack. Said Middle East correspondent and professional idiotarian Robert Fisk, "While it might be tempting for Saddam's supporters to lash out at the west, they would be better served by trying to understand why they are so hated throughout the world, including in their own country."

Also, here are two (somewhat contrasting) pieces on Bob Hope's writers. And i so agree with my father's comment:
It always bothers me when I see in a quotation book or a quotation page or something similar and there's a line from a prepared speech and the speaker's name and I think, "But he didn't come up with it. He just read it. Some speechwriter actually wrote it. I wonder who it was."
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (Default)
It rained a lot today, but had stopped before dinner and we were chilling in our room and then Emily, who was facing the window, said there was a rainbow and sure enough there was. Faint, so Caroline and i doubt our photos of it will come out, but still.

Dinner was good (pesto tortellini etc.) but dessert was disappointing, so i went to G&D's and splurged on an ice cream. I need to go back there 'cause they have some really yummy flavors.

Avette rubs me the wrong way, but we no longer have class together, so we will probably talk less. I kinda misinterpreted the question for this essay, which i kinda knew, and the essay at times got away from me, which i definitely knew because i could definitely feel it as i was writing, but she still gave me an A/B. I need to motivate myself to revise my previous paper for the Hofer Prize. Told Ruvani i met Peter, and she had no idea who i was talking about; oh well.

They updated "I Am Smith" and i still know people. The picture of Lauren is so bad, though, meep.

"Watch Ken get the most action he's gotten all trip." -Samantha, watching Ken and Tammy wrestle



SO ANGRY

His term's nearly over and i hadn't actually hated him yet, but pushing to "codify" marriage as being only between a man and a woman, that makes me hate him.

My senior year in high school i wrote a research paper making the case for same-sex marriage (dealing with both religious and legal as well as more basic equality arguments). It does need revision, but i think it still holds up 2 and a half years later.

(This also upsets me, but is so much more minor.)

A different kind of OMG moment is this e-mail from my father:
On the eponymous sitcom, Frasier's brother Niles used to have an unseen wife, Maris--shallow, snobby, and excrutiatingly thin--about whom many jokes were made. Several seasons ago they divorced, but the ratings are going south, and the producers may bring her back as an onscreen character, played by a real actress. One of the names batted around: Juliet Landau (My God! I didn't know her father was Martin Landau).
hermionesviolin: black and white photo of Emma Watson as Hermione, with text "hermionesviolin" (hermione by oatmilk)
I went to the Ashmolean today. *shrug* It was okay. I'd forgotten how much east-Asian Buddhist/Hindu imagery appeals to me. And there was a sandstone shrine which had a female figure on each of the four sides, and they were nude from the waist up but had great expressions of power and authority; i dunno, i liked it. Also, they have Powhatan's mantle, yo.

There are a bunch of thrift stores here i wanna check out (yeah, like i have room to bring home more clothes).

I like Oxford better than London because it feels like i can just wander around and see things and discover things, whereas London is so big and intimidating that you have to have a plan. Also, because i'm staying in Oxford i see things like the various themed walking tours, whereas in London as a tourist you very much get the feel of any paid tours just hitting the major attractions/landmarks. I was talking to Victoria a while ago, and we both prefer Boston to places like NYC because Boston is more manageable and stuff.

Mandy said i'm gonna have to go to Sussex without her because she only has like a hundred dollars left ("Damn Beer Cellar," she said.). That seems to be a common sentiment among the people in the program recently. Caroline, Amy, etc. were planning a weekend in Scotland and talking about how little money they have left. The program is nearly 2/3 over. I will return to the States with a decent amount of money. Does this mean perhaps i could have afforded a weekend in Edinburgh? Probably. I certainly could have at least eaten out more frequently. (Things like Edinburgh have the added complication of obscene amounts of time spent traveling.) But being very careful with my money is ingrained into my being, and i really want to be able to afford things like textbooks when i get back to the States. Will i have done everything i would have liked to while i was here? No, due to a combination of timing, cost, meshing plans with other people, and other factors. Have i "made the most" of my time here? Maybe not in the squeezing the last drop out of it kinda way. I've had days where i just sat in my room and wrote fanfic. I've had times when i've actually been bored. But i don't like cramming my days with doing stuff. Sometimes that's good, but other times i just want mellow.

Here ends the mildly articulate entry.
hermionesviolin: black and white photo of Emma Watson as Hermione, with text "hermionesviolin" (hermione by oatmilk)
Guest lecturer (Clare Morgan) tonight, Virgina Woolf and Her World.

It was okay.

At one point she quoted some critics of Woolf, which was interesting.

Clayton Aiken (sp?) said she was very much like Jane Austen, breathed that same air of gentility, and Clare said that she didn't know what he was reading to assert that reading her work makes one think of Jane Austen. I've admittedly only read Mrs. Dalloway (some of her other stuff i am interested in reading, and at Michelle's suggestion i will likely take Bob Hosmer's Woolf class) but i the idea of there being a great similarity resonates with me.

There was some guy Bennett who was very critical, one might even say dismissive, of Woolf, and i don't remember specifically what he said, but what really stuck with me was Clare saying after reading an excerpt, "That tells us a lot about Bennett." I thought, "Well of course all criticism, and praise for that matter, tells you a lot about the person doing the reviewing, sometimes even more than it tells you anything about the person being reviewed, but it says a lot about you and your pro-Woolfian biases that you think his criticism of her somehow reflects poorly on him."

From a correspondence to T. S. Eliot, i think while Woolf was working for Bloomsbury Press or something:
We want your defective compositions as soon as we can have them. We should have them suitably printed, and produce after Christmas. Don't think that this allows you plenty of time: it does not. Send as soon as you have done your Preface. I don't like paying fellow authors compliments, because I like there to be one cake of praise which is reserved entirely for me, but visiting Charleston the other day ... I there picked up The Sacred Wood [one of Eliot's literary critical pieces] and came home and burnt every one of my leading articles in the [Times Literary] Supplement. Why are you the only man who ever says anything interesting about literature?
I was amused.

One of quotes Clare didn't include in her handout but which i loved was from Leonard on the house that he and Virgina spent the first night of their married life in. He said that it was a romantic house, and that it was also a claustrophobic and musty and other adjectives i can't remember house. I loved that, because the romanticization of stuff, and the glorification of romanticism is something i am not enamoured of (tee, unintentional pun) at all.

I have more thoughts on romantic notions of love here.



Changing topics, it was Guest Dinner (read: fancy dinner) and i was at High Table. Usually fancy dinner is less than my favorite dinner, but tonight my overarching thought was, "This is the best fancy dinner yet."

Warm rolls to begin, which is often the best part (and for once i didn't have a poppyseed roll). Instead of salad and then meat and vegetables, we had Ogen Melon with Lemon Sorbet (lemon sorbet's not really my thing, but the melon was delicious) followed by a normal salad (last week we had avocado salad with rose-something-or-other dressing which people were calling Thousand Island, and as i like neither avocado nor that dressing i partook of little salad) and then the main course. I saw Char Grilled Rib-Eye Steak with Red Wine and Shallot Butter and thought, "Steak! If i weren't a vegetarian, that would excite me (though i've had steak once in my life and found it overly chewy)." I came down from my "best dinner" high when the vegetarian dish was placed in front of me: a small mushroom keesh topped with a green sprig and surrounded by mushroom sauce. It just looked so small. Was good, though, and Devon next to me had still bleeding steak. [edit: And there were french fries! How did i forget to mention that? They were curly spicy fries, so not my favorite, but still, french fries! In shallow bowls on the tables. Fancy dinner is usually odd because whereas at regular dinner they scoop large helpings of food onto your plate, at fancy dinner you get served these fairly small portions. But bowls of french fries meant you could keep muching until you were full.] Dessert was summer pudding, which is too tart for my taste, but that's okay. Shame today turned into solid rain given the lovely summery dinner.
hermionesviolin: black and white photo of Emma Watson as Hermione, with text "hermionesviolin" (hermione by oatmilk)
Honestly, i have moments at Smith in which i feel this way, i just feel like i've been having them more frequently here, with my Modern Self class. Given that they're "moments" they may well fade from memory just as the Smith ones do, but i do think it's interesting that i'm feeling it more on a summer course than at my prestigous college of choice. And if it keeps up, it's definitely worth all the money i've paid to be here.

Perhaps more accurately i'm learning (as i do at Smith) just what i like about literature and what interests me to study about literature.

I'm really big on allusions, probably because i love myth and religion [wow, typing that i realized for the first time that duh, my love of greek mythology and my passion for learning about different religions actually have a big connection] so much.

We started talking about the final line of The Mill on the Floss, the line on their tomb: And in their death they were not divided, which comes from 2 Samuel 1:23 and the resonance of the David/Saul/Jonathan relationship (reading this book has ruined me of course, but i didn't talk about that) and how readers of the time would also hear the preceding line, "they were lovely in their lives," and how that has a dissonance given what kind of person Tom was and all that.

Other major Biblical allusions related to Maggie's self-destructive tendencies -- she cuts off her own hair in a twisting of Samson&Delilah, and her behavior with her Fetishes is directly linked in the text to the story of Jael (Judges 4:17-22).

Then there's Philip's slighly inaccurate rendering of the story of Philoctetes.
He listened with great interest to a new story of Philip's about a man who had a very bad wound in his foot, and cried out so dreadfully with the pain, that his friends could bear with him no longer, but put him ashore on a desert island, with nothing but some wonderful poisoned arrows to kill animals with for food.

'I didn't roar out a bit, you know,' Tom said, 'and I daresay my foot was as bad as his. It's cowardly to roar.'

But Maggie would have it that when anything hurt you very much it was quite permissible to cry out, and it was cruel of people not to bear it. She wanted to know if Philoctetes had a sister, and why she didn't go with him on the desert island and take care of him.
I don't need to tell you how many issues i have with Maggie's way of thinking there, but Valentine's line of thinking was that while Maggie wonders if Philoctetes had a sister, what if he were a woman? He is othered in much the same wasy as women are. In the real story, his wound will not heal and it stinks so much that people cannot bear to be around him. This has very obvious parallels to how women were traditionally seen as contaminating presences because of menstruation and such. And Valentine said that when Odysseus and Diomedes go to retrieve Philoctetes, the first thing they see are his bandages hanging up drying.

Also, he said there was the idea that Philoctetes' phenomenal strength was linked to his wound, and that that was a common theme in myth, about strength being dependent upon a wound, and Philoctetes' is the title story in an early Freudian book The Wound and the Bow which asserts that early trauma leads to literary greatness. (I'm not going to get into that argument at the moment.)

There's also the story of the witch of St. Ogg's and the drowning and the parallels to Maggie and the issues surrounding her and water throughout the book. I love stuff like that, retelling stories, parallel stories. That must relate to my fascination with not so much fairy tales themselves but the retellings of them (and often the originals, because our common versions have been so changed -- usually sanitized -- that they seem to be themselves retellings).

Valentine also talked about Feuerbach's Essence of Christianity, which George Eliot translated. He mentioned the phrase "work is worship," which made me want to look for the book in the library to use as additional reference material for my Robinson Crusoe paper and mentioned that another big thing of Feurbach's was the idea that all meals are sacramental and stuff, which got me interested in his actual theology.

A. S. Byatt, in his Introduction to my edition of The Mill on the Floss writes of Feuerbach:
His central theory was that man had created God in his own image by personifying, or projecting, those human quantities he most valued in the human species onto eternal Figures. It was now time, he considered, to unlearn the language and understand the needs that had given rise to the creeds and codes of Christianity.
That pretty much sums up my take on religion (complicated by the fact that i insist on a belief in a loving Creator for my own sanity) so i really want to track down a copy of that book.


Valentine edited the World's Classics Adam Bede and mentioned casually that if we buy a copy while we're here he'll autograph it. Anyone want? (I'm thinking mainly of my mother here, but anyone can respond.)

(Searching Amazon for him, i found this book, which looks really interesting and reminded me of another thing he was talking about in class today, about writers having an idea as to what a novel is and how to do it is fairly recent [which got me thinking about Jessica's talk about Joyce reinventing the novel or whatever] and their big three women writers -- George Eliot, Virginia Woolf, Iris Murdoch -- were critics/theorists before they were novelists. Plus i tend not to be so big on literary theory. Definitely wanna procure a copy of that book at some point.)
hermionesviolin: black and white photo of Emma Watson as Hermione, with text "hermionesviolin" (hermione by oatmilk)
So, my Black Britain paper was finished Sunday night, partly because Sulgrave Manor was this afternoon. Kara, who did not partake of the Manor trip but who has the same class schedule i do (11am class tomorrow, followed directly by the Black Britain class) started her paper around 7pm tonight. Though some people do really well under pressure (i am so not one of those people) and it's not necessarily a good thing per se that i need to start working on an essay days in advance for it to be any good (though knowing how i operate at Smith, beginning essays days in advance is a really good habit for me to get into).

Sulgrave Manor was okay. Has a Colonial Williamsburg thing going on. One of George Washington's ancestors built it. Ironically (given who George Washington turned out to be) he fled to America because during the English Civil War he was on the Royalist side (which lost). So there's this whole George Washington exhibit section, which is odd because he never actually lived there. In one of the exhibits we pressed a button and a History Channel piece came on and one of the guys said, "This is how we learn in America" as we all laughed and sat down.

Saw a big brown Welcome to Northampton: Rose of the Shires on the way there, which i didn't get a picture of as it came up too fast. Boo. Lots of pictures from this trip are gonna be in my head alone.

Oh, forgot to mention that i saw Bend it Like Beckham Friday night. Was good, though not as good as it was hyped up to be. A movie called BEND it Like Beckham should contain more queerness, but i squeed sufficiently. Jess's character development was believeable here begins the spoilery part of the reaction )

Have been writing heaps of bad smut, but a conversation with Sharon prompted this [an Angel/Sandman crossover drabble], which is not smut, and may or may not be any good.

Interesting post (and comments) on the stigma of male bisexuality. Knowing so few males i'm in no position to comment. One of the commenters brought up the stigma of female masturbators, which i definitely thinks a lengthy treatment by someone at some point because i've found that there's definitely a stigma there, that most women either won't admit to doing it or don't do it at all (i find the latter hard to believe, but them i always have to remind myself that i live in some sort of parallel universe as far as most everything is concerned).

Writing fic recently i was thinking about much i'm influenced by what i read, how things like self-injury or destructive sex become themes because of who/what i surround myself with. I was also thinking about how i've been reading LJ discusions about the logistics/realism of (sexually explicit) slash and how i've also soaked that up like a sponge and how that's added to the realism/complexity of my fic, how it becomes more about relationships and not just about any two [insert gender or genders of your choice here] fucking. (I'm thinking particularly of this post and ensuing comment discussion.)

Yes, this is my journal wherein i am obviously becoming okay with posting things that are not fully thought out like essays and which only loosely fit together.
hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (you think you know...)
"i am a whole and complex person, and part of that person is queer as the day is long. because of that, as long as i can't say who i really am, you can't really know me."
Word, sister.


A friend of mine recently came out to me as bi (and i felt really special, because i was only i think the 2nd person she had come out to), and she said she wasn't looking forward to coming out to a lot of her friends because have made clear that being gay or lesbian is fine, but that bisexuality made them uncomfortable. I'm so used to either being in queer-friendly places or in combatting heteronormativity that i forget about biphobia (which exists on both sides). I think it (bisexuality) upsets people's neat categories and that disturbs them (much in the same way that trans stuff upsets people, messing with the gender binary and all). We both have faith that her friends will come around, and her parents will definitely be accepting (which is always a blessing -- love and hugs to my parentals, btw, as i haven't said that recently), it's just frustrating.


One of things Mandy and i talked about that long night was sex and how one defines it. She said that for her, she has to make a verbal commitment beforehand, saying "I am defining this action, with this person, as sex," and that actions other than those usually defined (even within the queer community) as "sex" can be included in that, that the focus is more on the partner and the decision. I think that's an interesting and potentially useful way of defining it, but it doesn't work for me. I'm not sure what does work for me, though. I think that gay sex has really upset the traditional definitions. I mean, i'm comfortable with the idea of penetration-as-sex (except in non-consensual situations, where Mandy's definition takes on appeal for me, where one can say that someone forced sexual activity on you and you have been violated and you have been raped but you compartmentalize it outside of the consensual sexual activities you have participated in) but what about oral-vaginal sex. If you go down on a woman, have you had sex? has she? Gay sex also upsets the idea of whether it really matters. Virginity has traditionally been an issue of bride-as-damaged-goods, and retains even in liberal societies the idea of wanting to maintain purity etc. When you bring gay sex into it, you have to question just what all that means. The major issue used to be one of property, of husbands wanting to be sure that all the fruit of their wife's loins was theirs by blood. Without that factor, what is the issue? Is sex an intimate shared experience you want to save for your life partner? I can absolutely understand and respect that and in fact feel similarly myself. Mandy has got me thinking about that, though, because one can certainly have physical intimacy outside of "sex." Is kissing something you want to save for your life partner? We can perhaps put kissing and "sex" on opposite sides of the life-partner-line, but it gets blurry in between.

[edit: I knew there were related things from that conversation i was forgetting. Thankfully i had jotted them down since i knew i wanted to LJ about them at some point.]

One of the things she said was that it's not important how far you've gone with how many people but whether the physical interactions you've had have been significant.

WORD.

I've also been thinking for a while about the fact that i have fulfilling friendships, which i think is more important than physical intimacy with one single person (though physical affection is important to me).

Okay, sleepy girl should go to bed now.

[/edit]


There was an ad (i think for Bombay Dreams though i really wasn't at all sure) i saw a lot last time i was in London whose focus was the quote "Love like you've never been hurt before." I've seen this in the context of the full quote before and never thought much of it (The "Dance like no one's watching." bit really appealed to me much more.) but seeing it on its own it started to really trouble me. I get what it means, but it's troubling because it's important to learn from relationships, particularly the ones in which you've been hurt. I mean, you shouldn't let a heartbreak prevent you from ever allowing someone else into your heart, but it's also important to not repeat mistakes like getting into relationships with people who are abusive or emotionally unavailable or whatever.

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Elizabeth (the delinquent, ecumenical)

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