hermionesviolin: (Ravenpuff)
Sarah Green's sports column in Thursday's metro opened: "This is more like it.  Recriminations, second-guessing, anguish --- this is what October baseball in Boston is supposed to feel like." ("Things are back to normal in Hub," p. 23)

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Friday morning gym, elliptical: interval program times )

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I did FreeRice.com more thoughtfully on Friday and progressed much better than I did on Thursday.  (I am also starting to learn some new words just because the site times out and they reuse words sometimes.)  At Level 47 I mostly had no clue (ditto 46).  I did get amaurosis [46] = blindness, because I thought of [livejournal.com profile] amanuensis1, which reminded me of the term "amanuensis" from my Milton class.

I correctly guessed that sprat = small herring, so the "Jack Sprat could eat no fat . . ." nursery rhyme now particularly amuses me.

I also correctly guessed littleneck [40] = quahog, because thanks to Family Guy I knew what a "quahog" was (have never heard the term "littleneck").

Heh, "cacography" = "bad handwriting" (like "cacophony" + "calligraphy").

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I finally actually started looking at Simmons' library science program.  I know Jessie hated it, but I get the impression that nobody really likes their Library Science program, everyone just suffers through it to get the degree.  And Amy loves the kidlit portion of her dual-degree program, so that's a thought as well.

I don't feel excited looking at any of the classes, so then I ask myself, "Well what would I want to have a library science degree in order to do?" and I don't have much of an answer for that question.

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My mom asked if I was coming to Singspiration, and when I said yes, she said: "We'll slaughter the fatted shells&cheese" ♥

It having been six weeks since the last one, I had to re-adjust.  Hymnals under the pews, sitting for the songs, none of the hymns have been PC-ified.  I actually enjoyed most of the songs, though -- which I don't always. 

hymn list )

I was showing off my autographed copy of Da Book (complete with sticky note on the spot in the Acknowledgments where my name is), and I showed Joe F., knowing he would be pleased.  He said, "Nothing you could do would surprise me -- the sky's the limit."  I pointed out that that was poor phrasing -- "even if I became a godless communist?"  He just laughed.

Oh, and in showing Mike F. (who was the first person I showed that night), I realized there are whole paragraphs I haven't read -- the Advance Praise bits :)

I gave Mike F. a back/shoulder massage, and he did like the human equivalent of a dog wagging its tail.  I gave Joe F. a shoulder massage, and he was mostly non-responsive, but at one point he did say it felt good, to which I responded, "That's the point."

I was talking with George K., and he was saying how I used to be really shy but I've come into my own.

My mom and I were chatting with Joe F. later, and he mentioned -- which he had told me in a letter about a year ago -- how he was willing to become a JP to perform a civil union between two women.  He said that if two people want to commit their lives to each other, regardless of their gender . . . he just doesn't want the word "marriage" used.  I said that I would be happy to let churches keep the word "marriage" and have the legal term for all couples be "civil unions."  I forgot about the "separate but equal" analogy until I was writing this up just now, and I still don't entirely know how to parse his position on this issue (we've really only discussed the "let the people vote" aspect, and I make assumptions because I know he's longtime close friends with PB -- "I didn't jump. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were."), but I keep mentally replaying that phrase "regardless of gender."  And I really love that the couple in question is the couple who left UCN.

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Last minute, Allie invited me to have lunch with her on Saturday 'cause she was gonna be in town looking at apartments, so I ended up at the Boston Vegetarian Food Festival basically only long enough to say hi to Heather.

We had lunch at Arrow Street Crepes with Kath.  I got a sweet crepe with bananas and stuff (Metro).  Tasty.

Her next apartment viewing was right near Central Square T, so we walked there (and I recalled various times with Nicole) and then Kath and I walked around while Allie and her mom looked at the apartment.  I've mostly only walked along Mass Ave., so it was neat to walk around some residential areas and parks and stuff.  And despite not really sharing fandoms we talked fandom easily.

Afterward, we went to Million Year Picnic and stuff and then had dinner at wagamama -- where Allie's mom was generous enough to treat all of us.  I was unimpressed with the vegetarian options (though pleased to see that they sell Riesling by the glass -- which I didn't order but which I always check for).

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In Friday's metro I read a review of The Veiled Monologues, so Saturday night I went to see it.

The women interviewed were Dutch Muslims -- and all four actresses are Dutch, and at least two have Turkish ties.  They're all fair-skinned (three dark-haired and one blonde), but they all have meat on their bones.  Dance and song/music happened throughout.

It was really interesting hearing some stories of very positive sexual/nudity experiences as well as incredibly negative ones (one woman described her experience of her vagina as like that kind of torture where you're tied to the ground and a goat licks the salt off your skin until it cracks).  And the positive and negative contrasts between Muslim men/culture and Dutch men/culture.  I was also impressed at the amount of queerness.  Some women were raped by family members or family friends, and no one talked about it or protected them; others had their first sex with family members and were glad to have that first experience be one of safety and love.  Some women talked about wanting to be raped because then they would be freed of this burden of virginity but their honor would still be safe.  I really liked that there were so many stories of opposite experiences, because it meant you couldn't easily leave with a monolithic idea of what Muslim culture means for women's sexuality.  Female "circumcision" even got discussed.

A Moroccan woman used the word "cunt" [pronounced "koont"] -- said vagina sounded French, the language of where she was born.

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This morning, OriginalRoomie said that when she moves out I can have her room if I want.  I'd actually been thinking about this, and wondering whether it felt worth moving all my stuff.  She said "walk-in closet," and if her closet really is better than mine I think I'm sold.

This means she'd be showing what's currently my room, which is added incentive for me to make it actually look presentable (though she's not moving out for like six months).  I'm already starting to feel the pressure, though, 'cause I find myself looking for things and forgetting where I've stored them.  I swear I still have my bartending book plus my massage class books/notebooks, and I can't find them anywhere.  I tore through 14 boxes and then realized I'd forgotten about the 9 boxes under my bed.  I still didn't find them, which means I'm gonna have to dig through the boxes more carefully, since they can't have vanished.  Though I will probably just beg Palmer for another copy of the Massage 1 booklet.  I have learned not to trust people's enthusiasm for being practiced on (I didn't get credit for Massage 1 'cause I didn't have the 30 credit hours -- I probably could have begged some sort of extension, but by that time I'd gotten an office job and didn't think I'd have the time/energy to continue the program, so I didn't bother) but I think I could probably actually make it happen a few times given the responses I've been getting recently, and I'd like to be able to do it for real rather than just the bits I remember.

Having numerous people actually be enthusiastic about being practiced on, I've been wondering whether I'd want to take classes at Palmer again.  I'm really not sure I'm committed enough.  Plus the scheduling is bothersome.  information for my own reference )
hermionesviolin: (moon house)
I think today was the first day I'd stepped out of the house since Wednesday.  Youch.  I went to the library to pick some books up.

Shelby was working Children's, so I went over to say hi because she's lovely.  We chatted about the usual stuff and she asked how United was doing.  "That's an interesting question," I said.  She was asking about the "spirit" of the church rather than the finances (which was how I first answered the question) and mentioned the Taegers -- who are one of the many who left United ~6 years ago, and who now go to the Baptist and I didn't realize knew the Warners.  I said most of the people who were upset by what happened had left, so it was pretty much happily chugging along as its own new entity now, but it's really not my church, in so many ways, a number of which I talked about.

We also talked about jobness and of course there was the question of what I would ideally wanna be doing, and she asked if I write, and I talked about how I'm good at discussing things with people and how I would love to get to do things on my own terms, to talk about fairytales and tv and movies and connections and just be trusted to be smart and not have to prove myself to an admissions or hiring committee, and how I'm not good at having an idea of my own which I can sustain throughout the course of a paper.  I hadn't ever quite articulated that portion of it (the fact that it's hard to sell a board on my flavor of cultural studies has of course become old hat) and now that I'm typing it up I think, "Being a college professor, if you're a humanities prof at a liberal arts college, leading discussion is what you do, though there still is that hateful requirement that you publish regularly."

She said she was glad I come in and check in, that it's nice to hear from me, and she sounded sincere.  I have come to not trust my readings of such, but it was a positive conversation regardless.

I also chatted with Michele for a while, about gifting among other things.  I feel like I'm treated more like an adult than like a kid, which is nice.

Me: So, I'm debating whether or not I should watch tonight's CSI rerun, 'cause I know I've seen this episode before.
Mom: Why would you be watching the episode again if you know you've already seen it?  For the order?  In case there was subtle character development you missed the first time around?  The CSI characters are too adorable not to watch?
Me (shamefacedly): Okay, I wouldn't call the CSI characters "adorable," but up until then, you were exactly right.

Cat called shortly after the show started, so I watched about 20 minutes with the mute on, which was enough to remind me more fully what the episode was about and also to remind me that it's a rather depressing episode I really don't need to watch again.

My mother says she doesn't consider information from me really official until it's been "enshrined" in (my) LJ.  " 'I'm converting to Buddhism and moving to Tibet.'  I'll send a condolence letter to the Dalai Lama.  'I know you're probably the most grounded person on the planet, but this girl's gonna be a test.' "

P.S. Neil Gaiman is love.

And this is not about Neil Gaiman, but confession time before Advent (time to prepare one's heart for the coming of God Incarnate).  I think I understand that "Thou shalt not covet" commandment better now.  It's about being content with what you have, but it's also about not begrudging others what they have.  I find myself sort of seething negative energy when I read really amazing fic sometimes.  I also totally rock the inferiority/superiority complex thing, and I begin to think the two are related -- that it's not just jealousy in the sense of "I wish I had that ability" but also "You do not deserve to have that ability."  Which is somewhat troubling.  I would be a happier person if I didn't hate people so frequently.
hermionesviolin: (moon house)
I slept for so long.  Guess I needed it.

Woke up to bright blue sky and tree looking yellow-green leaves in the light.  One would hardly believe wet snow had accumulated yesterday.  I went for a brief walk in the afternoon, and it was short-sleeve weather.  There were light purple crocuses in Mr. Carver's yard.

Gave my mom a massage tonight -- something I haven't done in ages.  I resigned myself some time ago to not getting my hours finished in time to get credit for the course I took over the summer.  Working full-time now I really don't have the energy to do it, and it feels more like a chore than something that gives me joy.  The school has a chair massage class one weekend in December that I still wanna do, but for now it's not something that on the whole I wanna pursue.

Of course I'm not sure what I do wanna pursue.  I've been seriously thinking about taking Continuing Ed courses through Harvard if I get perm. at HBS, with an end goal of teaching high school English, though of course I've gone back and forth on the "teach high school English" plan for years.  Layna's been talking recently about things she wants to do with her life, and she's so full of energy and purpose, and all I really wanna do is just be lazy.  I know that really it's fine to have a 9-5 office job and that the one I've got is hardly a bad one.  It's just that I would really like to have a career/job (that I'm either in or working toward) that I love, and I don't currently know what I would love to be doing, and I like having drive.
hermionesviolin: image of Buffy in the desert in "Restless" with text "small girl in a big girl world" (small girl in big world [_extraflamey_])
It occurred to me on Saturday night that i would be returning to UCN for Memorial Day Sunday.  Poor timing choice.

The service started with The Pledge of Allegiance, which always wigs me out.  Counter-intuitive, much?

Then we sang the first and final verses of "The Star Spangled Banner."  Oh the final verse.  (Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land / Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation. / Then conquer we must, for our cause it is just, / And this be our motto: "In God is our trust.")

The responsive reading was partly good.  There was one section that was just for men to read, which confused me, as it was something like "Do to others as you would have them do to you; this is the Law and the Prophets."  Somehow the word "men" was in there (KJV), but that isn't usually enough for them to sex-segregate a reading, and there was nothing else in the reading that was sex-segregated.  I read it anyhow.  Especially since it is rather uncommon for me to be willing to say any of the words in a church service.

A later part was a reminder of how Paul is sometimes on crack, though.  Romans 13:1-7.  And this had been immediately preceded by the recognition of the veterans, which made it extra-bizarre.  If all authorities are authorized by God, then the only time there should be any conflict would be if a particular national government wanted to expand and inflict itself upon another country, but otherwise we should have left Hitler alone to do what he wanted in Germany.  America probably should never have rebelled against England, and we certainly shouldn't have gotten involved in Korea, Vietnam, the Middle East.  Dude, this is the epitome of isolationism.

[Edit 'cause i forgot to write originally: I told my mom this is why i'm not allowed to do Readings; i would have actually stopped and explained why i wasn't willing to read that section. I'm actually not enough of an assertive brat to do that with everything, but that was intense enough that if i was up there doing the Reading there is no way i would have gone through with it, and i absolutely would have made a statement about why. Oh for a pulpit...]

Children's Message.  Wow, making the Joshua-Jordan River story into a Memorial Day parallel.  That takes talent.  I mean, i get that it's a physical memorial, but Memorial Day is about remembering those who died in wars.  The pile of stones in that story is a memorial to God's power and His actions on behalf of the Israelites.

The Scripture Reading for the sermon was Romans 5:1-11.  The sermon ("The Price of Peace") was little more than 20 minutes, which is short for PB, but it seemed scattered and i didn't really get it.  He shared a story about the insanity of war, and then he talked about how glad he is to be an American and how grateful he is to those who fought and died for his freedom (and either here or elsewhere there was griping about making it unconstitutional to say the Pledge of Allegiance or taking "under God" out of the Pledge, and i got riled ‘cause what people argue is that it is unconstitutional to force children/people to say the Pledge, and "under God" was only put in fifty years ago during the Communist scare), and then there was blah blah blah Jesus, and he said something like "and my third and final point is" and i hadn't really registered the first two points.

Afterward, i complained to my mom, and she said something along the lines of, "The price of worldly peace is war; the price of spiritual peace is Christ's sacrifice."  If PB had said something short and direct like that, i would have actually gotten it.

I have an issue with Romans 5:7-8.
"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
But see, if you say ‘no one will die for a righteous man though some may die for a good man,' then the next logical step is ‘lots of people would die for a sinner,' so how is it a big deal that Christ died for a lot of sinners?

We ended with "God of Grace and God of Glory," which is a hymn i actually like.

Apparently Sunday June 12th is Children's Sunday, and after the service there's an All Church Potluck Lunch and "Town Meeting."  I tend to starve at potlucks, but in the bulletin there was an RSVP thing, and it included space to write in "Something I would like to see added to or changed in our church" and "A question about our church that I would like to have answered."

Of course i'm going to write in that i want them to rotate who does the readings.  George K. actually retired, so i don't have to suffer through him anymore, but John P. is doing them now, and he shouldn't have to do it all the time, and really, couldn't we at least pretend that more people than i could count on one hand are involved in the church?

I have visions of seething rage, but i am so attending the "Town Meeting."

The Christian Education Hour listing included, "The class that meets in the Council Room is studying Answers in Genesis – Answers ... with Ken Ham."  I was intrigued; mostly having taken Joel's Intro Old Testament course.  Turned out they've been watching (and then discussing) a 12-part video series (hence the italics), and of course i came in for the last in the series ("How can we evangelize a secular world?, Part 2").

The video was nearly useless, aided of course by the fact that i'd missed everything that led up to it.  The idea of prepared ground makes sense, that you have to be talking a language people understand, but there wasn't anything about how you go about convincing people that there are moral absolutes and that you know what they are (i totally monopolized the discussion time and got useful thoughts from the discussion leader).  I did like that he argued that you need to connect the Bible to the real world in order for it to work.  The impression i got from the video series is that he focuses on Genesis and interprets existing scientific evidence to support the Biblical account of world history, even going so far as to disavow evolution and to argue for a strict literalism of the 6 Day Creation account.  I just interpret the six days as a metaphor and felt that evolution can be a means of creation and have been far more interested in narrative and historical inconsistencies.  I'm a Text Girl, not a scientist, what can i say.  Plus, a lot of the FAQs he was listing just weren't ones that come up as major stumbling blocks for either myself or any of my friends who tell me they have trouble with the Christian Bible.  I checked out the AnswersInGenesis.org website when i got home, and the Q&A looks like it'll provide me thought fodder for ages.

I chatted with Michael F. briefly afterward (he'd come down to clean up).  He asked me what my ideal job would be, and i said reading books and talking about them.  I think i need to find myself a book club.  What i really wanna spend my life doing is engaging with texts (hello, fandom).
hermionesviolin: (big girl world)
So, having queried 21 places over the weekend (about 15 of which were secretarial type) i have an interview for a temp-to-perm position at a high-powered consulting firm.  I'm thrilled at the prospect of actually having income, though also freaking out for an assortment of reasons.  (The fact that i Just. Don't. Know. what i wanna do isn't helping any of this.  'Cause i wanna get trained to bartend, and i wanna learn how to do massage, and i want a steady income, and i rather like desk jobs, and okay i guess that answers my question of what i want to do.  I just have to manage to balance all of those things and be strong enough to insist to people that all of those are things i care about.)

Oh, and i got my $10 Amazon gift certificate from the brain-owie-inducing cog sci thingie i did. Woot.

P.S. Emma, clearly you need to find and watch this.

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hermionesviolin: an image of Alyson Hannigan (who plays Willow Rosenberg) with animated text "you think you know / what you are / what's to come / you haven't even / BEGUN" (Default)
Elizabeth (the delinquent, ecumenical)

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