burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

FCS-Ian's wife gave birth to their second child the night after our last driving lesson.

Sunday afternoon, Shoshana picked me up at my house and drove us to Mount Auburn Cemetery. I drove around, getting used to her Prius.

Then I practiced three-point turns and parallel parking. I did them successfully (eventually), but I needed step-by-step instruction and definitely need a lot more practice. (Steering wheel direction while reversing continues to be completely non-intuitive to me -- among other issues.)

She GPSed us out of the cemetery (yay, technology) and thought I could drive back to my house (she GPSed it and directed me). So that was Mystic Valley Parkway, and rotaries.

I didn't crash into anything or even get honked at (until I was almost home and was being careful of a bicyclist in front of me and the car behind me was cranky), despite some seriously flawed driving.

QOTD was possibly, "We're yielding to rotary traffic, remember?"

Though as she pointed out, there's a steep learning curve when first learning to drive because there's so much you need to pay attention to -- and as you do it more, much of it becomes rote and you can focus on just paying attention to the stuff that's unfamiliar.

***

On the drive over to Watertown, I talked about my continuing indecision about ASA. I told her that the previous afternonon I had told Ari that basically I want someone to convince me to go to ASA, and that in that conversation Ari had said, "I'm not hearing anything that tips me over from neutral."

During our conversation, Shoshana said, "I think you want someone to convince you NOT to go," but she was attempting to be amenable.
AAR/SBL is clearly the better choice for me -- but I have the disposable income and vacation time &c. that it doesn't have to be an either/or choice.
Just showing up to panels and taking notes is basically what I do at Arisia -- I mean, I end up bumping into people I already know and hanging out with them, but I don't go out of my way to make new friends. So doing that at ASA isn't going to feel like a waste of a con to me. And there are sessions on sexuality and media and stuff that's of interest to me at basically every time slot, so it's not like I'm spending a thousand dollars or whatever just to go to the porn panel.

I also talked with Jenna at Coffee Hour. She asked, "What else would you be doing with this money? [...] I'm not trying to encourage people to be reckless, but..."

***

In, "decisions I feel more equipped to make than ASA," I think I'm finally going to get a smartphone.

Based on my previous experience with could-be-smartphones, I have a strong preference for one with a pullout keyboard. Otherwise I don't really have any specifications in mind. I want to keep my phone number and transfer my contacts, so that probably means staying with Verizon, though I assume those transfers are doable across carriers, albeit possibly for a fee.

Input is welcome.

HBS did layoffs today (as did the rest of the University, I believe).  I gripe that we are nearly unfireable and the incentives system is poor and I gripe about particular people I work with, but actually looking at someone having gotten laid off... it's a human being vulnerable and in pain.  (Yes, I was actually surprised that I had this reaction -- I have a self-identity as a misanthrope in certain contexts, what can I say?)

Edit: I hadn't found any official press release on the HBS webpage, but it occurred to me later to check the HBSNews Twitter. Huh. /edit

***

I am unimpressed by my World Religions class (the prof just doesn't quite do it for me) and think I will just listen to the lectures during work from now on, reserving Tuesday and Thursday evenings for things I will get more out of.

At one point during our phonecall tonight, L. was like, "Oh, there was a religion-related class this fall that I was supposed to tell you about but now I can't remember what it was."  She mentioned "Dreams and The Dreaming" but couldn't remember if that was the class she had been thinking of.  Poking around the website some, I'm actually tempted by "Race in the Americas" (thanks, RaceFail).

***

( joy sadhana )

I was researching Bluetooth today (very cursory, like pulling up the cell phone website and clicking on Accessories to see what the options were like) and dude, phrases like "Up to 8 Hours Talk Time"?  And for under a hundred dollars.  I may need to get me one of those.  (Though I asked my brother and he said: "a headset does prolong the life of a phone battery cuz i guess it takes less power to transmit the voice to the headset then to actually make noise. but that 8hrs is how long the headset can be in a call without charging or changing batteries. two different batteries.")

---

I spent much of today eating myself sick on post-holiday half-off dark chocolate peanut M&M's because I have a tendency to fail at productivity.  (Also, the CD burning program I have was refusing to cooperate, so hopefully I can finagle something when I'm back at work.)  But I have fic recs, which is worth something.

How I Met Your Mother
    I read all the How I Met Your Mother fics in the Yuletide archive, and none of them are bad, but there's only one that I'm certain I'm going to be reccing: "Leave No Man Behind" -- Barney and Robin get a marriage of convenience.  And it is legendary.

Wonderfalls
    "Jesus Complex" (Jaye, PG)
The show often felt too cynical/meaningless for me, but this fic feels believably true to canon while actually being quite sweet.  [Jaye is institutionalized, and the fic is told from her doctor's perspective.]
    "Jolly" by Amy (Jaye-centric, PG)
That said, I love this fic (Yuletide 2004) all about Jaye being entirely unfestive at Christmastime.
      "Twisted Santa" by Keswindhover (Jaye-centric, PG)
(Yuletide 2006) I wasn't super into this one, but I love the twist at the end.
    "Urban Maneuvers and Mountain Escapes" (Sharon, Mahandra)
Sharon and Mahandra get locked in a closet together at The Barrel.  Which in and of itself is good fun, and then there was a bonus surprise at the end when stuff got connected in a very episode-esque way.  [Also: Fandom should provide (me) more Sharon/Mahandra.  Thanks.]

The Princess Bride (movie)
    "There Will Be No Survivors (Except for the Survivors Behind the Curtain, But Pay No Attention to Them)" (PG-13, post-movie)
Authorial Summary: Westley wants to turn the Dread Pirate Roberts gig over to Inigo, but things aren't going quite as smoothly as he hoped.
This starts out slow, but by the end I was really quite enjoying it.

---

jennyo made a post about being a Monica (from Friends -- "the neurotic intelligent brunette with control issues and upper middlebrow tastes") and as the post went on she said, "capitalism is gutting a lot of patriarchy's unbearable aspects, because capitalism doesn't want to lose my utility to the system for something as meaningless (in capitalism) as my plumbing," which of course made me happy, because hi, I am not entirely kidding when I talk about free market capitalism as democracy.  And she goes on to talk about how "you can't escape Empire" and says:

I can say, "no! no maids!" and clean my own damn house, replicating the unpaid domestic labor that reifies capitalist patriarchy's place for women, or I can exploit poor women who may or may not mind the exploiting depending how they view the interaction. I mean, because my role is in part to be be a conscience, I get to wail, "I'M EXPLOITING MY LATINA HOUSEKEEPER!" and my housekeeper can reply, "Yes, Senorita White Lady, that's right, it's all about you. Senorita White Lady and her power to exploit. Because your Latina maid is so ignorant and poor she can't organize herself. This is of course about your white guilt and your white power to exploit and by the way, Ugly Betty has better ratings than 30 Rock. PWNT."

I appreciated this because while I recognize that systemic oppression exists and I am all about education and everything, I often feel like liberals get very White Man's Burden -- like I remember at Smith I often felt like the general idea was that if only those uneducated/misinformed people (usually imaged as Southerners) knew what "we" knew then of course they would agree with us, and while that makes some degree of sense it's problematic when it's coming out of a context of already looking at Those People as people you don't really like or respect.

---

joy sadhana for Christmastide (4)

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy." -mylittleredgirl [more info]

The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light.  And they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.
-Isaiah 9:2

Five good things about today:
1. Despite going to bed later than I should have, I still got up before 9am.
2. Yuletide fic!
3. Omar called me mid-afternoon to say that work stuff had come up, it being end of year time, so he wouldn't be getting off work until like 8:30 tonight and that would probably be too late to go out for a drink (I agreed), so he suggested rescheduling to next week.  I said a friend of mine was gonna be in town but that we could tentatively make plans.  We didn't actually pick a date, and he said he'd call tomorrow to say hi.  It's funny, I was totally dreading this "date" tonight 'cause I felt like there were no sparks, but the fact that he's going to call me tomorrow just to say hi made me feel all giddy.  It is of course not news that I am incredibly easy -- not in the "will put out after first date" way, just that one needs only be a little bit attentive to me to make me terribly pleased.  And come on, regardless of whether anything actually comes of this, he's actually trying, and how often does anyone do that for me?  (Which is not to belittle the fantastic friends I have, but you guys don't have to try)
4. Cat IMed me.
5. I was idly checking the Harvard Extension School website, and the syllabus for Classics of Western Thought II is up.  ( for my reference, and your possible interest )

Three things I did well today:
1. Despite going to bed later than I should have, I still got up before 9am.  [What?  Accomplishments can totally do double-duty as good things.]
2. I read and feedbacked Yuletide fic.  (And feedbacked some non-Yuletide fic I've had lounging about for overlong.)  And worked on my recs page update.
3. I made dinner for myself.  (Prince shells&cheese from a box, yo!  And it tasted more like it does when my dad makes it than usually happens when I make it myself, which was pleasing.)  And washed dishes thereafter.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
1. Reading more fic.
2. Ordering books for my spring semester extension class.

Oh my brilliant father. Turned off the computer's surge protector 'cause a storm's coming. Except, um, the Internet gets routed through a thingy that's plugged into that. [I told Meredith, whom i had been IMing with, to explain my disappearance, and she said, "isn't a storm exactly when you want the surge protector on? or am I just very confused?" I grinned. My father, of course operates on the, "Let's turn off everything so there's no chance any power will come through" principle.]

At least when i came out to the living room and said, "Why is the Internet dead?" he knew why.


Edit: So, i heard Jeopardy and came out. 'Twas Kids Jeopardy or something and the questions i saw in the Double Jeopardy round were easy like whoa, save a few of the Civil War questions. Though the kids were like 5th graders, which made it make more sense. Final Jeopardy category was: Biblical Weights and Measures. WTF?
"As described in the Bible, the total volume of this is 450,000 cubic cubits."
If it wasn't for the fact that, joking during the break, i had mentioned what turned out to be the answer, i probably would have blanked on that had i been given it as a question.


Also: 90 minute So You Think You Can Dance followed by Malcolm in the Middle at a special night and time = no The Inside tonight. Boo.


And: I went to change the speed dial on my cell, and when i changed one speed dial number to a pre-existing speed dial number it asked if wanted to replace the pre-existing one, and it deleted that whole pre-existing entry. Boo. Also, only 0-9 actually function as speed dial, even though it forces a "speed number" onto every single entry. wtf.

That was the most unenthusiastic person i have talked to in a long long time. Am rather less than optimistic about the interview. We shall see.

Our phones came. Finally. Am currently wading through all the instructions to try to figure out how to charge them. (My tech-savvy brother is at work all day.) So see, that means i'll finally shut up for a while.

2:21pm - Okay, that was easier than it seemed like it was going to be.

Look at me go, editing entries instead of spamming you like whoa :)

I sent constructive criticism re: a Kaylee/Inara fic i read on Populli and was worried the person would read it too harsh and be upset, but i got an actual positive response. Wootness. I do have some feedback karma after all. (Not to mention renewed faith in humanity and all that.)

And the 3 spam mails in my fannish account?
     Sender:
Jim Mackey
Congratulating F. Abbess
Foist T. Becalming

IIRC, it's her natural color, but SMG with dark hair disturbs my brain.

Am not quite caught up on flist, but woot for finally finishing this update before falling into bed.

I ♥ polls. I’m half-tempted to do one to help decide which of my Works-In-Progress i should work on, but i think i’m just gonna try to finish my Firefly fics what with the Big Damn Movie coming out soon. (And really, does anyone reading this care what i fic anyway?)

( more fandom )

( work stuff )

( politicky )

( etc. )