sex and religion

[hermionesviolin]

I read Lauren Winner's Real Sex a while back and sadly got no discussion on it.  [Note: I get comments e-mailed to me, so you can always comment on old stuff of mine.  And anything of interest is likely in my Memories.]  The topic of sex-having has come up yet again on the flist, so I'm making a poll.  Clarifications are delineated beneath the poll.

[P.S. Speaking of polls: Layna, you can tell Chris that Charging Rhinos beat the U.S. Supreme Court 9-8 if we don't count my vote, though my parents both voted for Charging Rhinos though they're not represented in the LJ poll.]

[Poll #596927]

The poll is spurred by knowing so many people who identify as some flavor of Christian and yet don't seem to have any qualms about having sex.  I grew up in a Christian tradition, and NO SEX outside marriage always seemed a full-stop for me [though I honestly can't point to any specific instances of that being taught], so I'm curious about this disconnect (hence the poll lumping together everyone who does not have religious prohibitions on non-marital sex).

I know non-hetero couples in most states/countries don't have official legal marriage as an option, but I tend to think that replacing "marriage" with "relationship both parties have (publically) committed to intending to be permanent" works fine for having the non-marital sex discussion.  So please read "non-marital" in the poll as appropriate shorthand.

As for whether or not you are part of a religious tradition . . . I trust your judgement.  If you go to Mass because your parents make you but actually you're an atheist, I think the "not a part of" option is yours.  If you identify yourself as Catholic even though you disagree with the official line on a number of issues, pick from one of the first three.

The would/would not question is intended as a hypothetical.  I'm purposely being good and not doing the nosy "Have you had non-marital sex?" question (though honestly, I already know the answer for most of the people on my flist) but if you wanna elaborate in comments with personal experience, I'm not gonna tell you not to.  I pretty much don't have a TMI threshhold, so share or not as you wish.  And obviously if you wanna e-mail me privately, go for it.  I am not gonna bother screening comments on this post, though.

Some of you are currently married, but I trust you to be able to think hypothetically (or not so hypothetically if you're poly).

Basically, I trust you all to be intelligent people.  Please do let me know if I should clarify anything about this poll, though.

Comments

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Okay, technically, my religious tradition strongly urges you to stay celibate outside of marriage and chaste within, but it does not completely forbid it.

And yes, I do believe in following this, so I'll most likely still be a virgin up till the wedding day.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Remind me which denomination you are?

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Episcopalian. We tend to focus more on worshiping together, we'll argue about doctrine and anything else, but it is our common worship that bonds us. This tends to give ordinary Episcopalians some extreme latitude in how we choose to interpret some things.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Huh. Interesting.

I'm used to thinking of the denominational distinctions as being defined by doctrinal/faith issues, with worship styles being merely incidental (in part becaise issues of faith and doctrine are so important to me and issues of style are so not -- see also previous discussions I've had about church community and how I am so all about the individual+God[+Bible] equation).

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

A lot of denominations are like that, ours is more of an exception. It has some strengths and weaknesses. It means that we can allow for a lot more viewpoints, a lot more differences without splitting, but at the same time it means that you don't always have a lot of support for your own opinions.

An example of the differences between Episcopalians and our various ideologies is that my home church is rather far on the left side, in fact we just joined the center for progressive christianity over the summer, with a few loud exceptions, while the church I attend while I'm here at college is far more conservative. But if you attended a service with either church, you would find that we use the same Book of Common Prayer, that we followed the same service format, and that, depending on which Eucharistic prayer we were doing, that the service itself, aside from individual hymn choices and the sermon, would be identical. We are united in worship. Everything else, we'll debate ad nauseum

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

That makes sense. I so couldn't do that, though. I get used to a certain format of church service, but it is far more important to me that my denominational identity reflect my religious beliefs (one reason why I don't have a denominational identity beyond "Protestant").

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Yeah, whereas we have a few key things, and then everything else you may choose to believe or disbelieve as may be. Individual churches tend to come to a consensus, but there's still a lot of variety.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

To some extent this seems to be how all churches function.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

More or less.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

With where the church and the person fall in that more-less spectrum helping in the church selection process :)

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Yeah. For example, I'm always going to be Episcopalian, but I'd definitely prefer a church like my home church over a church like the one I attend here at school. The people at both are great, but I feel more comfortable with the mindset at my home church.