(no subject)

[hermionesviolin]

I feel like i don't deserve this break, like i don't do any (school)work. I don't regret my decision to not do the Hughes paper, but i wish i could have been focused enough to have written it (especially since kq said in class many of the things i thought). This semester has been shit because i don't have the time to put enough time/energy/focus into anything. Plus, i'm horribly procrastinatory and unfocused. I am delusional and say next semester will be better, knowing full well that the problem of not having time to do research for anything not for class or even just to update about my life will be just as much a problem as last year.

I know i'm smart. A lot of times i think i'm fucking brilliant and that i think about things way more than other people. But so many times i feel like i suck at the academic thing, whether because i'm inherently bad at it or because i just don't want to focus my time/energy on it.

"I just want to be brilliant on my own terms." -me

Comments

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

well, there's a fine line between being academic and successful and brilliant and pushing your poor brain too hard and burning it to a crisp. Give yourself a break!

[hedy.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should only take 4 courses and write biweekly, maybe?

first grade

[(Anonymous)]

i always remember your first "real" school experience.
"There are too many rules."
I suspect you still feel that way.
As you devoted parent, however, I do feel obliged to point out, again, that the real world requires that you jump thru their hoops, and doing the work for your classes is good practice.
I asuage my guilt for advice-giving knowing that your entire peer group is on you side :) As am I, of course, I'm just thinking more long term.
see you (before you see this)
love,
mommy

[(Anonymous)]

"I know i'm smart. A lot of times i think i'm fucking brilliant..."
wow, we're not egotistical now are we?
and don't whine about not having enough time for things when you update about buffy fifty times a day. geez.
reality check time dear.

[speacechilde.livejournal.com]

hmmm...i think you need a long-distance hug.
*HUG*
i'd give you sage advice, but your worries are a lot of the same ones i deal with...and probably the same ones everyone (more or less, and sometimes far less) deals with: finding enough time and energy to do all the things that must be done, with some left over for the things that you want to do, and enjoy doing.
so, you see, i'm rather useless on this one except for thinking you're great, and i'm going to remember our random conversations far, FAR longer than any of my class discussions. so muddle on through, and you'll probably find that when the dust clears, you've been doing a much better job holding it all together than you think you have.
:)