(no subject)

[hermionesviolin]

I feel like i don't deserve this break, like i don't do any (school)work. I don't regret my decision to not do the Hughes paper, but i wish i could have been focused enough to have written it (especially since kq said in class many of the things i thought). This semester has been shit because i don't have the time to put enough time/energy/focus into anything. Plus, i'm horribly procrastinatory and unfocused. I am delusional and say next semester will be better, knowing full well that the problem of not having time to do research for anything not for class or even just to update about my life will be just as much a problem as last year.

I know i'm smart. A lot of times i think i'm fucking brilliant and that i think about things way more than other people. But so many times i feel like i suck at the academic thing, whether because i'm inherently bad at it or because i just don't want to focus my time/energy on it.

"I just want to be brilliant on my own terms." -me

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

"I know i'm smart. A lot of times i think i'm fucking brilliant..."
wow, we're not egotistical now are we?
and don't whine about not having enough time for things when you update about buffy fifty times a day. geez.
reality check time dear.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Dear anonymous poster,

First of all, thank you for signing your name and owning what you say. I greatly appreciate it.

Second of all, i'm not going to get into a discussion about how in this culture anytime anyone is enthusiastically positive about themselves they are perceived as egotistical.

Thirdly, you call this whining? Seems pretty low on the whining scale to me.

Fourth, did it look like i wasn't taking responsibility for the fact that i don't have enough time to do everything i want/need to do? I've been pretty upfront about the fact that i consistently make bad time management decisions.