(no subject)

[hermionesviolin]

I feel like i don't deserve this break, like i don't do any (school)work. I don't regret my decision to not do the Hughes paper, but i wish i could have been focused enough to have written it (especially since kq said in class many of the things i thought). This semester has been shit because i don't have the time to put enough time/energy/focus into anything. Plus, i'm horribly procrastinatory and unfocused. I am delusional and say next semester will be better, knowing full well that the problem of not having time to do research for anything not for class or even just to update about my life will be just as much a problem as last year.

I know i'm smart. A lot of times i think i'm fucking brilliant and that i think about things way more than other people. But so many times i feel like i suck at the academic thing, whether because i'm inherently bad at it or because i just don't want to focus my time/energy on it.

"I just want to be brilliant on my own terms." -me

Comments

[speacechilde.livejournal.com]

hmmm...i think you need a long-distance hug.
*HUG*
i'd give you sage advice, but your worries are a lot of the same ones i deal with...and probably the same ones everyone (more or less, and sometimes far less) deals with: finding enough time and energy to do all the things that must be done, with some left over for the things that you want to do, and enjoy doing.
so, you see, i'm rather useless on this one except for thinking you're great, and i'm going to remember our random conversations far, FAR longer than any of my class discussions. so muddle on through, and you'll probably find that when the dust clears, you've been doing a much better job holding it all together than you think you have.
:)

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you dear. Hugs are always good, even the long-distance kind. I'll have to get an in-person one sometime after i return to the Valley. :)

I'm touched by your comments and think rather highly of you as well.

We need to spend more time together.