crush babble gets a separate entry

[hermionesviolin]

Del said “This whole crush thing of yours is ridiculously cute. You know that right? :-P” This amuses me because i really don’t talk about it that much. Layna agreed that it was cute, though, and she said it brings her joy. (At Celebration tonight, she also asked me, “Is your woman here?” which i thought was cute.) I’m glad it brings joy to her life. Kinda wishing it brought joy to mine. I rarely see her (the crush “her,” for anyone confused by the pronouns) ‘cause we’re both so busy, and i feel like every time i talk to her i’m imposing on her or something.

Well okay, honestly, here's the deal. Last night she was doing stuff with someone downstairs and she didn’t want to keep said person waiting, which i totally understood, and i appreciated that she listened to me babble even a little bit and tried to be helpful. Saw her briefly this afternoon and just got a Hi, no “How are you feeling?” or anything so yeah, i’m bitter. Saw her a few times at Celebration, and talked to her briefly. She seemed glum mostly, which made me sad. She seems solemn a lot, and she’s so pretty when she smiles. (Secondary of course to the obvious fact that i want people i like to be happy.)

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looked so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her, when she smiles

But yeah, mostly i’m just annoyed that i never get to see her (which leads to less of a crush because i don’t know anything about her) and frustrated by the fact that i feel like i’m imposing on her by talking to her, because she is someone i would like to get to know, even just as a friend.

Okay, i'm done angsting now. Carry on.