"what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've got everything i want and still i want more"

[hermionesviolin]

I have little problem doing the boatloads of reading for all my classes, but i have no motivation to do any of the research or paperwriting. This is seriously problematic.

I feel off and empty somehow, but i don’t know what i want. This is of course dissatisfying and unhelpful. My horoscopes seem to recommend hugs.

Cancer Horoscope for week of September 26, 2002

It's Touchie-Feelie Week. To put yourself in sweet alignment with cosmic trends, dramatically increase the contact between your beautiful body and the rest of the world. You should trust your intuition about the best surfaces to rub up against for maximum benefit, but here are a few ideas to get you started: Indulge in extravagant hugging, eat with your fingers, wrap yourself in silk or velvet, conspire to be in places where wind and misty rain will caress you, get yourself invited to a body-painting party, attend a New Age workshop, play Twister, and make love as long and slow and often as possible.

and from BeliefNet:

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

The Moon is in Taurus, reflecting our most basic needs. What makes this Taurus Moon so different is that it passes opposite Venus and becomes the fourth point on a grand square that includes Neptune and Jupiter. This is about finding ways to fulfill our sensory wants, without making excessive demands on others. This includes good food, nice atmosphere and pleasant physical sensations that come from fine towels and sheets, as well as the realms of physical intimacy. Money also plays into the picture as security can be fiscally-based as well as sensually.

But i find this one the most helpful of any of them.

Sunday, September 29, 2002

The Moon is in Cancer all day today. Cancer is Latin for “crab,” a creature that lives within its hard outer shell. Our homes are like the crab’s shell, affording us protection from the tidal changes that we deal with in the outer world. At home, we are supposed to be safe. When the Moon is in Cancer, we create shells around our emotions, especially if we feel vulnerable. Emotions can deepen now, but don’t necessarily make it up to the surface. Avoid brooding. Stay emotionally in touch with your family and loved ones.

Comments

[trijinx.livejournal.com]

Bah! All junk! What does the onion say?

the onion is not helpful

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
It takes a lot to offend you, but you are profoundly outraged that Ricky Schroeder is hosting the new American Sportsman.

from the mommy

[(Anonymous)]

I can so totally remember the lack of desire to do the paperwork of my courses. And yet, that is really where the work is done -- it forces you to sort out and present your thinking. And thinking of you as a writer, both in fact and in the future, I think it is enormously important for you to train yourself to accept the discipline of going thru someone else's hoops, and someone else's format and topics, in order to become a better writer. Not to mention someone who will be functional and employed. I have learned, mostly from work, that one has to jump thru other people's hoops in the real world -- and if you can make it a challenge, and do your absolute best, it can be quite satisfying.
I may be babbling, but I remember a little girl who sobbed in first grade "because there are too many rules." And if she doesn't learn to play by the rules, life in the real world is going to be very painful.
I hope you can find a way to get motivated so you can spare yourself another "milton experience" :)
love you, mommy