getting to know my neighbors

[hermionesviolin]

I've been extra bad at writing up anything, even culture consumed, but here, have an update story.

***

Late October, I moved into a 7-bedroom (2nd and 3rd floor of a duplex).

Halloween night I hung out on the porch in the hopes of seeing trick-or-treaters (downstairs had put some candy out on the porch, so I knew no one was gonna ring the doorbell) and met 2 of the 3 downstairs neighbors briefly.

Shortly before Winter Break I chatted with one of those downstairs neighbors and suggested we exchange numbers, but then her taxi arrived, so we didn't do it right then. After the Winter Break, I put a note in her mailbox with my contact info, suggesting we could maybe make a group chat for the whole house.

Sat Jan 17 I bumped into her again and she thanked me for my note and apologized for not having gotten back to me yet. They had a new roommate move in in early January, and life had been hectic.

I still haven't gotten contact info from her, but Fri Jan 16 I put notes in the mailboxes/mailslots of many* of the neighbors on my half* of my street.

*(A bunch of houses I didn't see mailboxes or even a mail slot in an exterior door -- though later that day I saw a mail carrier open what I would have assumed was a locked wooden exterior door at one house, so I guess some people have mail delivery in entryways I wouldn't have thought were publicly accessible.)

**(My street goes up and down a hill, with a cross street at the approximate middle, so "my half of my street" is a really natural way to think of what constitutes my immediate neighborhood.)

I kind of regretted never intentionally getting to know my neighbors when I moved back in 2013. And I know that the town I'm now living in, neighborhood email lists are common -- and surely not a thing my transient housemates are plugged into. And the state of the world increasing feels like community connection is a good thing to do.

So I was very brave and vulnerable and wrote this note -- and printed multiple copies in Word at work; I was def not writing multiple handwritten notes.

Dear neighbor,

I recently moved to [town] after years of living in [neighboring town], and with the rise of authoritarianism and the dismantling of the federal government, I'm trying to make an effort to get to know my community.

I don't know if there's a neighborhood email list I could join or other hyper-local community stuff.

I'm also happy to get to know people one-on-one. I have a 9-5 job but am often free on weekends, and sometimes free on weeknight evenings.

Topics I'm passionate about include: queer stuff, prison abolition, and children's literature.

[my name, pronouns, address/contact info]

One person texted me that afternoon, inviting me to hang out with him and his family at a local brewery that evening (which I did).

He mentioned the neighborhood email list and said he'd add me to it. That Tuesday, someone else emailed me and did get me connected to the email list.

Today (Fri Jan 30) someone emailed me, in part:

We loved your note so much and would love to say hi in the real world sometime. Come borrow some sugar! Or let's have a coffee/tea some weekend afternoon. We love our neighborhood. You probably know already but the winter farmer's market on Saturday morning is pretty awesome, unless you hate crowds.

I've been thinking recently about just hosting a few open houses on some Sundays for neighbors to come by and say hi. We're all very friendly and helpful on the internet when called on, but this feels like a moment to try to know each others faces and names and practice sharing ideas and asking for help. Your note in our mailbox made me begin to think of this again.

I was particularly happy about this because I'd been thinking about how to initiate more face-to-face getting-to-know neighbors since last Sunday when our Queer Pastoral Resident named that the biggest piece of advice she got from folks in Minneapolis (she was one of the hundreds of faith leaders who went to Minneapolis last weekend with MARCH) was to get to know your neighbors. Someone else doing some of this work for me! My brave and vulnerable act inspiring someone else to do more community connection!

(I have also inspired my ex and her new partner to do the neighbor notes thing in each of their neighborhoods.)

Comments

[lunabee34]

This is such a brave thing to do; I've been living here for years and don't know any of our neighbors. My neighbors are on the opposite side of the political spectrum that we are, but I think there's still value in having a relationship with them.