discuss

[hermionesviolin]

So, one of the things I mention a lot in therapy is my, "But if I did it, then it would get done correctly," impulse.

Today, therp asked me what the psychology behind my micromanaging drive is, and I honestly had no idea. It is very much a True Fact about me now, but it's not something I can point to having been present throughout my development.* Walking back to work, I thought about the fact that my job has trained it into me in some ways. Anyone else have any thoughts?

*Okay, in writing this up it occurs to me that there's the "stubborn independent baby, I can do it myself, maybe" -- but I think that's slightly different, since this is more about my micromanaging tendencies. Though okay, a stubborn "I know best/I can do it myself" could easily transfer to "I know best for you, too/you should just let me do it."

Comments

[marginaliana]

Well, maybe this just means that I have a) the same issue as you and b) a bit of an intellectual snobbery thing going on, but a lot of the time I think you're not wrong to say you know better than others.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

:)

It becomes problematic in caretaking contexts -- when being helpful and supportive with a peer who is an autonomous adult who can make her own decisions and thus an attitude/articulation on my part of, "I know what is best for you -- let me do it for you/you do it the way I tell you to," is inappropriate on a lot of levels.

But I am not disputing that yeah, I often do know better than other people :)