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hermionesviolin...if that would be cathartic and beneficial in any way.
[Damn LiveJournal has a character limit for the Subject field.]
Anyway, recently i feel like i’m not supposed to like Smith. I’m supposed to be upset at the institutionalized racism, etc. I’m supposed to be disappointed with the academics. I’m supposed to be depressed at the lack of a social scene/Northampton night life. I’m supposed to be irritated at the cliquishness. I’m supposed to be disenchanted with how uninformed students are, blindly protesting the “cause of the moment.” I am supposed to be infuriated at the silencing of many diverse opinions. I am supposed to want to transfer. My question is, where would i go?
I was an Early Decision student. I knew in September that Smith was where i wanted to be. I wanted a small liberal arts college in the New England area, one with an activist bent, one where the higher-ups (incl. the faculty) care about the students, one with a good town or city easily accessible, one where people get along and are friendly. Where would you suggest i go? As much as i am upset and disheartened by Smith students at times, i don’t know anywhere that would be better. I really like Northampton, i really like this 5-College Consortium thing, for the most part i really like my classes, i have met lots of wonderful people here. Right now i would absolutely love to be home, done for the summer, away from Smith, back in Norwood. That saddens me. For the first time, i wish i were done with college. I think i will feel differently after a summer back in Norwood, though. I may even feel differently by the time i’m actually leaving at the end of this semester.
[Damn LiveJournal has a character limit for the Subject field.]
Anyway, recently i feel like i’m not supposed to like Smith. I’m supposed to be upset at the institutionalized racism, etc. I’m supposed to be disappointed with the academics. I’m supposed to be depressed at the lack of a social scene/Northampton night life. I’m supposed to be irritated at the cliquishness. I’m supposed to be disenchanted with how uninformed students are, blindly protesting the “cause of the moment.” I am supposed to be infuriated at the silencing of many diverse opinions. I am supposed to want to transfer. My question is, where would i go?
I was an Early Decision student. I knew in September that Smith was where i wanted to be. I wanted a small liberal arts college in the New England area, one with an activist bent, one where the higher-ups (incl. the faculty) care about the students, one with a good town or city easily accessible, one where people get along and are friendly. Where would you suggest i go? As much as i am upset and disheartened by Smith students at times, i don’t know anywhere that would be better. I really like Northampton, i really like this 5-College Consortium thing, for the most part i really like my classes, i have met lots of wonderful people here. Right now i would absolutely love to be home, done for the summer, away from Smith, back in Norwood. That saddens me. For the first time, i wish i were done with college. I think i will feel differently after a summer back in Norwood, though. I may even feel differently by the time i’m actually leaving at the end of this semester.
my rant for the night...
Date: 2002-04-28 09:49 pm (UTC)The problem is, the world is an ugly place. There is no perfect system, because people are imperfect. The wonderful blame cycles created by these apologists only break hearts and crush dreams of a better world. Okay, so someone was mean. BIG DEAL. To deny this in the world is to deny reality. Everyone is mean, everyone has enemies, and hate is inescapable. I wish I had something rosier for you, but reading your post I just got angry. These people have no concept of reality. Sometimes you just have to put up with things sucking.
After all: "Life's not a song. Life isn't bliss. Life is just this: it's living."
these grassroots organizers can throw themselves on their backs and kick and scream and tantrum themselves unconscious. It won't change the reality of the situation. Yes, people hate. and people are horrible. But is lecturing and demanding of a Big Brother figure going to do anythign about? No. You can't legislate thought.
I'm sorry that your idea of a perfect society got shattered. But life is only what you make of it. And nothing more. And if you're fair and kind on a person-by-person basis, and judge a person not by their race, gender, orientation or salary but by the content of their character, you'll have made a difference. That's what needs to be done. Not all of this yelling about being 'recognized' or pointing fingers or the name the blame game. Some poor people are shit too. And some rich people are kind and generous and inspiring. By trying to point it out, they're making it more of an issue than it ever was. Some people are going to be on top of the pile, and some people are going to be the pile, that's just how it is. LIFE ISN'T KINDERGARTEN FUCKING FAIR, where everyone gets a turn and a cookie. These spoiled little morons who read Marx and who knows what else and decided that they have politics aren't making a difference by making a 'statement.' They'd stand to do more good by living peaceful lives and making a difference by example. Otherwise, they're not better or worse than the blowhard politicians than they hate so much.
I know you're taking all this to heart, and you shouldn't. You're a fair person. You don't judge people unfairly. Take comfort in the fact that you're not the person they're trying to make you out to be, and you shouldn't let them make you evil just because they have their own issues about where they grew up or whatever. These are people who should be grateful that they live in a country where they can be anything they want to be. Yes, there's people out there who disagree. But the law protects all sides, not just the one judged the more righteous by the involved parties. And THAT'S what equality really is. Anything else is superiority. If that's what they want, they haev to ask for it by name (and get laughed out of the room, but that's another story).
The kind of person who is inspired by the life of a 92 year old woman, and who is one of the most optimistic, fair, even-tempered and downright tolerant people I know SHOULD NOT feel included in the groups that these accusists would peg you in to. Fight them!
and read Rebecca Gilman's Spinning Into Butter I can even mail you my copy after my drama final. It would give you a lot of perspective about what's going on now.
Re: my rant for the night...
Date: 2002-04-29 11:34 am (UTC)I would have liked to tell you this before you went to bed, but oh well.
It's okay. I've basically been feeling increasingly better since talking to Joe Wednesday night. It's almost a catch-22: when i'm feeling really emotional it's hard to write about it, so by the time i get it all written i'm not really in the same place as how i'm writing about feeling. Okay, i'm not sure how much sense that made. But i really am feeling better than my LJ posts about Smith shit may make me sound (not that i don't stand by everything i wrote, of course).
There is no perfect system, because people are imperfect.
Thank you. I need to remember that. We all need to remember that.
After all: "Life's not a song. Life isn't bliss. Life is just this: it's living."
:) I've quoted that bit at people who were feeling depressed, and now it's being quoted at me. Yay for things coming around.
Some poor people are shit too. And some rich people are kind and generous and inspiring.
Good point.
Some people are going to be on top of the pile, and some people are going to be the pile, that's just how it is.
Another really good point. I like that phrase "some people are going to be the pile." Harsh, but true.
one of the most optimistic, fair, even-tempered and downright tolerant people I know
*blush* You are such a wonderful friend.
My home library has Rebecca Gilman's Spinning Into Butter, so i'll read it when i get home (which is in less than 2 weeks -- eek!). Thanks for offering to mail me a copy, though.
Re: my rant for the night...
Date: 2002-04-29 03:51 pm (UTC)Just remember, if you want to be at Smith, don't let these people ruin it for you with their bullshit. Some of them will build their lives on being loud and unsatisfied, because it guarantees the attention they never got.