[Saturday] "Suit up"
Sep. 17th, 2006 11:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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So I ended up being fashionably late to RA's pre-party after all. When I told her I was hanging out with a friend she was all "You should have invited her." I said I didn't think it was really her scene. As it turned out, it was so not my scene. I mean, I knew that already, but the music was so incredibly loud and there wasn't really much room to dance (plus I was time-aware 'cause I didn't wanna have to pay for a taxi home -- but a three mile walk on Mass. Ave. was not exciting either).
Sidenote: The awkwardness makes me fear for my party this Saturday. Though my birthday party-of-four managed to not suck, so I supposed I really shouldn't worry.
However, this did mean
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Amusingly, I was thinking that very afternoon about how your s.o. should make you want to be a better person and how that is not at all the case with the guys I'm currently crushing on. Insert recurrent request for an appropriate person for me to date. [It was also occurring to me recently that I complain more about not having a snogging partner than any of my friends. By a factor of... they don't complain about it at all. Which means I have terrific friends, but also makes me feel like that stereotypical awful girl, which makes me sad -- though I think my hormonal/emotional neediness is entirely valid and I don't talk about it overmuch and even then only in LJ where one can just scroll past, so I don't actually feel guilty.]
Cailin asked me if Eric was seeing anybody, and I said I didn't think so. She said she didn't think so either, that we would know, that he would let it slip. I started to say that I thought he would tell us, but then I realized that it would very in character for him to try to not talk about it to us though I do still think we would know, 'cause we talk about our lives enough.
Talking about hooking us up, Cailin said something about him being dense -- as in, that he wouldn't realize what was going on and thus it would fail. I didn't say anything to that, but I'm honestly not sure how true it is. I think it's moderately obvious that I like him, but I also think it's very clear that he's not interested in me (and that "us" wouldn't be a good idea -- though obviously not everyone shares my opinions on that) so depending on how obvious Cailin is (and honestly, that part would be my biggest fear -- that he would feel really uncomfortable and implicate me) I can totally see how it wouldn't even register on his radar. And yes of course I go back and forth between wanting to just be direct and make a move and feeling like it totally wouldn't work on a multiplicity of levels -- which brings us back to the "Could we find me someone good to date, please?" And wow I feel like I'm back in high school. Only usually then it was other people's drama.
It's possible that I've stressed myself writing all that up 'cause in rereading it I'm like "Who am I kidding? I've barely got time for my friends nevermind an s.o." -- which was my m.o. throughout college.
Claire introduced me to her friends Nick and Owen -- both Firefly fans. I had forgotten that she was Firefly fan, so I was v. impressed that she remembered that I was. Owen did a spring semester at Oxford (Brasenose); he said he had a couple friends who got a two-month EuroRail pass and went all over Europe that way, sleeping on trains -- if there was a city they wanted to spend more than one day in they would take the train out and then back in. Hardcore.
I tried to talk to RA's roommate's sister (Kate?) but it was so incredibly loud you literally had to basically talk into the other person's ear. Yeah, so not my scene.
Oh, at the pre-party I met one of RA's friends, a guy named P.K. and he shook my hand and I tend to handshake firmly (I think I read How to Win Friends and Influence People at an impressionable age or something) and he commented on that, said he was taken by surprise by it and hoped he was man enough for me but feared he wasn't. I just laughed because I had nothing to say to that. His handshake really was nothing, so I couldn't reassure him on that score, and while I expect it's accurate that women are less likely than men to handshake firmly I get uncomfortable around traditional definitions of masculinity (i.e. the "man enough for you" comment). Though at one point he was handing around a plate of grapes etc. and joked "grapes, for feeding your lover, like so," and demonstrated with a guy friend, so obviously he won big points with me.
***
I ordered an amaretto sour at Enormous Room (thanks, Michaela -- though this one was way sweeter than the one I had in Georgia). I wanna try out interesting drinks at my apartment-warming, but I worry that no one's gonna want any and I'm gonna have booze lying around for eternity (with limited storage space). I also think I need to come up with more food as the affirmative RSVPs keep increasing. Sigh. (I know, being madly popular, it's tragic.)