I think there's always been a "would I be worth this person's time if I *didn't* have some sort of Pressing Reason to talk to them?" insecurity.
Interesting.
I definitely don't have a Pressing Reason. I want people to talk theology with (except for the moments when I just wanna walk away from it all, of course) and pastors may not be the best source for that (as pastoral duties include so many other obligations) but it's not like I've had more success with professors at college, and of course as I mentioned in the original post, the whole "I'm not sweet/clever/interesting/whatever *enough* to merit the extra effort" thing is true of how I view my attempts at friendship as well. [In part, I'm sure, because I have such high standards for everyone so of course I interpret stuff as "I'm not meeting their high standards."] It seems so rare that I find people with whom there is an equal amount on both sides of wanting the other person in one's life -- and yet it seems like everyone else manages just fine (and I'm sure part of that is that one is much more aware of all the little flaws in stuff one is close to than in stuff one is viewing from afar).
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Date: 2006-05-08 08:47 pm (UTC)Interesting.
I definitely don't have a Pressing Reason. I want people to talk theology with (except for the moments when I just wanna walk away from it all, of course) and pastors may not be the best source for that (as pastoral duties include so many other obligations) but it's not like I've had more success with professors at college, and of course as I mentioned in the original post, the whole "I'm not sweet/clever/interesting/whatever *enough* to merit the extra effort" thing is true of how I view my attempts at friendship as well. [In part, I'm sure, because I have such high standards for everyone so of course I interpret stuff as "I'm not meeting their high standards."] It seems so rare that I find people with whom there is an equal amount on both sides of wanting the other person in one's life -- and yet it seems like everyone else manages just fine (and I'm sure part of that is that one is much more aware of all the little flaws in stuff one is close to than in stuff one is viewing from afar).