Hate on for restrictive beauty norms.

[hermionesviolin]

Question on Millionaire today: "A unibrow is a fashion faux pas remedied by what type of grooming?" Dude, the levels of wrongness. "Faux pas"? Like Frida Kahlo wasn't a total hottie.

After a comment thread with ranaeressea last night, I was thinking I could use an androgynous person icon; and I've been wanting a "real women have curves" icon for some time (I lack any picture to use for it); this makes me think I need a Frida Kahlo icon (complete with unibrow and mustache) for a "nontraditionally beautiful" icon. [Though I would still like a "real women have curves" icon. And no I don't endorse the "zomg, you are so skinny you must be anorexic" type of thing; I don't mean to elide the women who are naturally skinny; being a female who has passed through puberty you have some curves, though, so you are not being negated by the still-theoretical icon.]

I was thinking about writing a disclaimer about choosing/owning your own aesthetics and I remembered that last night kurukami posted a poll about preference for smooth-chested vs. hairy-chested (for those attracted to males) and in this context it got me thinking about how when we're talking about men the hairiness issue gets to be an aesthetic choice, but with women it becomes this huge deal -- and interestingly, women are in many ways less restricted in terms of appearance choices (women wear pants all the times, but how many guys get away with wearing skirts?) but whereas guys get to make choices about shaving all the time (facial hair especially) it's a given that women will shave everything except their heads (and that one's okay either way) and if you don't shave and don't cover that up then it's this huge deal.

Comments

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

I knew when I was looking at colleges that if I commuted I would barely make any friends since I'm bad at putting myself out there socially even when I'm around people a lot. Makes me sort of wonder how things work out at places that are predominantly commuter schools.

[helholden.livejournal.com]

In my pre-college years, I was very much (and still sort of am) a generally unsocial person. Not in the sense that I don't want to talk to other people, but more I am not one who brings it upon myself to make a first move. I sort of expect that of others, which people have at often times characterized as 'snootiness,' even though it isn't meant in that way. With my usual facial looks, though, I'm not really surprised they walk away thinking that.

I am quite small and humble, but I carry myself and wear a mask that says I'm extremely proud. And I think that steers people away if they don't know what I'm really like. I never thought I was much of one who didn't easily make friends, though. I like people enough one general principle that it's easy. But sometimes I can be so strong and opinionated that it scares them away. So . . . keeping friends is more my issue.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

I combine disliking people with being intimidated by the awesomeness of people, so the reason for my quietness around people is always up for grabs. I honestly don't know whether I come off as snobby or just shy. I got "aloof" I think more than once on that nohari window thing, but that's a very flawed mechanism for reasons including the fact that it forces you to select 5 adjectives even if you only want to pick 3.

I'm never really sure how I manage to acquire friends. By the time I'm actually at a point with someone where we would call each other friends, we've usually had conversations about at least some of the stuff I get tetchy about and they've seen how I complicate everything and hate people and suchlike; so combined with the fact that I tend to scope out people for a while before committing, I like to think that I'm fairly likely to keep friends, but there are a lot of people with whom I've drifted (though most of those people would be categorized more as acquaintances than friends).