in which I have Santa issues

[hermionesviolin]

Quote from Thursday's episode of Without a Trace.  Santa images from vintage advertisements.  I prefer the second icon because the point is not that Santa is a God stand-in who is accusing you of being on the Bad List (which is what I feel like the first icon is implying) but rather that Santa is a lie. And really, neither of these icons gets that across sufficiently, but I haven't figured out a way to get across what I want in icon format.

[For those of you just tuning in: I have serious issues with lying to your children and hate the commercialization/secularization of Xmas anyhow.] And yes I know, spirit of giving and all that, lots of people have fond magical memories of Santa, etc. etc. I am restraining myself from demanding that everyone drop the Santa thing and have an appropriately spiritual observance (or observe Consumalata instead) and people are welcome to discuss in the comments or in personal e-mail, though I'm not likely to change my mind on the issue.

If you wish to raise your children with the story of St. Nicholas and do Christmas stockings and participate in things like Toys for Tots and Angel Tree, explaining all the while that we do these things in the spirit of St. Nicholas/Jesus Christ/the 3 Wise Men/whomever, then I am full of encouragement -- though okay, upon consideration, it still bugs me a little bit, because the idea of setting aside specific dates for gift-giving bothers me; but I am so all about intentionality, so if you are being thoughtful about what you're doing I'll probably be okay. But handing your children presents with tags saying "from Santa" and encouraging them to leave out cookies and milk for a red-suited man . . . that makes me homicidal.

[A post more receptive to fond Santa memories is here.]

1:50am -- Edited a whole bunch of times and now I'm going to bed.

Sunday at 12:42pm: Edited to add my personal Santa background:

My parents absolutely hate lying to their children, so they were always wishy-washy around the issue of Santa Claus. All of our presents had the giver's name on them, and we knew Mommy filled our stockings (since the bulk of it was baked goods we'd been watching her make for the past month). Once my grandma gave us placemats with a "from Santa" tag on the wrapping, but basically as soon as we opened them she said they were from her. I really wanted there to be a Santa Claus for the kids whose parents couldn't afford to buy them presents but saw no need for Santa Claus to come to my house. I don't remember any specific moment of knowing Santa wasn't real, but I suspected quite early.

I know most people grow out of the Santa belief non-traumatically, but it feels to me like you're setting yourself/your kid up for such potential trauma and why do that? Especially because I grew up with consistency being one of my dad's biggest things (credible threat and all that) so I feel like, "Well if you lied to your kid about this thing, why do they have any reason to believe you're not lying about other things?"

Comments

[wisdomeagle]

There are no fond Santa memories in my past! I agree with you 100%. Which makes for very boring discussion, but, you know. It's gotta happen from time to time.

Meanwhile this poem by Ogden Nash traumatized me so much when I was wee-er that I was turned off of Ogden Nash for life.

[theatre-pixie.livejournal.com]

My parents never made a big deal about Santa. No presents ever came from him--at least not by way of the parental units, though I'm sure some extended family and friends gave up gifts that way.

It was in school that the big deal was made. Art projects, stories, songs you sang... the Jehovah's Witness classmate of mine was not a happy child when the holidays came around (Halloween, too).

As to poems about Santa, I know only one (besides 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, that is) and I know it because my late grandfather wrote it. About a policeman pulling over a speeding Santa Claus.

My sister wrote a speech about how Santa Clause is a stalker and a sort of cat burglar. I started to write a tale called "My Stalker's Name is Santa Claus."

Done babbling.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

OMG, that poem is awful. I'd never read it before, but omg. I now have hardcore hate for Ogden Nash.

I don't have Santa trauma in my past [see edit to orginal post for elaboration of my Santa-less childhood], but yay for agreement.

[wisdomeagle]

I don't actually have trauma in my past -- there was simply never any Santa in my worldview. I just, um, knew it was something other kids believed? I had the tooth fairy till I was four, then found out somehow non-traumatically that the quarters came from my parents.

My best friend (whose mom was my mom's best friend) did believe in Santa and the tooth fairy, and I once got scolded by his mother for trying to set him straight, though her explanation made no sense, since she said something like [insert my bias into recollected dialogue], "For children who are lucky enough to have parents who lie to them, Santa is a wonderful fairy tale, like Cinderella."

Ari: OMG, Erik thinks Cinderella is true, too?! *weirded out*

So, lack of understanding!

And yes. When I was ten I totally loved, "if you don't believe in Santa you will CEASE TO EXIST." Yeah.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Oh, 'cause using "Cinderella" as a point of comparison helps so much. (I have hatred for the "Sit around and be dutiful and long-suffering and eventually you will be rewarded with marriage to a rich and handsome stranger" story.)

And yeah, Allie (lilithchilde) argued below about stories, but I feel like there's a difference between telling stories that are powerful stories and spreading false information as fact.

I lost so few teeth as natural process that the tooth fairy was almost a moot point in my childhood.

Also: yes, disbelief in Santa and a sharing of that belief is clearly indicative of general evilness, not to mention a serious lack of personal hygiene. I felt like the end was a a heavy-handed metaphor for God smiting the unbelievers or something.

[Random: I got to share the null-submit poll information with musesfool tonight, and I thought of you.]