[Abby] same partner, new name

So, my excellent human, meat_and_breath, has been using "Abalyn" as a "sometimes name" (my term) for a while now* and as of today is using it more broadly.

* origin: Abalyn is a trans woman supporting character in The Drowning Girl by Caitlín R. Kiernan, which we read for my feminist sci-fi/fantasy book club in March of 2021.

Detail from Abby's FB post:

I’m still mostly using “they” pronouns, especially in professional and other public spaces. Using those pronouns is correct under all circumstances. Some friends have been using “she” pronouns for me sometimes, and it’s okay if you want to use those, too. “He” pronouns are basically never the right choice unless I’ve told you otherwise for a specific circumstance. (Though I’m unlikely to actually get upset by their use.) If there’s a particular neopronoun that just feels to you like it fits me, let me know and we can talk about it.

No promises this name will stick, but I’ve been testing it with a small group for a while now and have liked it.

I’m generally pro-nicknames. Several people are already using “Abby”, which is what I expect to mostly use with friends. If you have some other nickname you want to use, it’s probably fine but maybe just run it by me first.

I’m still using “Thom” in some contexts, especially work, so those of you who know me professionally, please be aware of that. That may change at some point, but probably not real soon.

I don’t consider “Thom” a “deadname”, so you don’t need to freak out if you slip up and use it. That also means you can use it without guilt to clarify who you’re talking about to friends who don’t know this new name. (Though I know that I find explaining who someone is without using their deadname to be a really engaging intellectual exercise.)