ext_2351: (Default)
ext_2351 ([identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] hermionesviolin 2010-03-03 03:12 am (UTC)

Can I push back against this just a smidge? :)

*loves you*

I am overweight. Or fat. Cause that's how I think of myself in my head. Fat. I weigh almost 190 pounds. But people want me. My husband is all up in my shit all the time and I have at least one student each semester who's trying to get in my panties and [redacted] happened when I was even fatter than I am now. So let us be clear on the fact that people want to fuck Lorraine and that's been true during the 50 pound weight range I've experienced since I was 14. I do not at all think I have to weigh a certain amount to be wanted.

However, I feel like my weight is very much tied to my health. When I get to this weight, my ribs hurt. My whole body hurts. I find it nearly possible to find a comfortable position in which to sit. In my imagination, it's like asking a plastic frame to support all of this weight and it's sort of bending underneath the load. MY KNEES FUCKING KILL ME. LOL I get winded doing, well, anything. Weirdly enough, my blood pressure is super now. Last time I weighed this much it was awful but I wonder now if that's because of the preeclampsia I experienced when I was pregnant and proximity to that event. I just don't know if I can agree with you that weight isn't related to health. This is probably because my mommy's a nurse. :)

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