I seriously doubt you'll have a breakdown. I used to threaten to (when I was in college) but somehow I haven't, and you're a much healthier person than I.
But it is true that I feel the way you do at times.
You have always been good at knowing when you "need to be alone." Keep it up and it will give you the resources to draw on.
I feel obliged to put in a plug for God here, as well -- I often think that much of my life has been an act of grace that is beyond my control. And Daddy would point out that I have made myown "luck." For me, God is in the quiet -- which is perhaps why I am crashing around the edges these days. But also in the community of good souls -- which you seem to be developing.
Remember the motherly image of God you once had? I suggest you draw on that even now, in the largely non-religious world in which you find yourself.
Was it Sharon who said if these ranting activist actually lived good lives it would change things? She's totally on target -- and living a good, intentional, life is the hardest thing imaginable.
Longer than I meant to be -- but (in between work, trying to sleep, and Mom-watch) you're in my thoughts, and always in my heart